For many of us, simply being present, fully here, right now, is one of the greatest challenges we face. In Western culture especially, we’re conditioned to think in linear terms: past, present, future. We track what has been, plan what’s next, and often measure our lives by where we’re going and what we hope to achieve. We make lists, set goals, and feel comforted by having a plan. But underneath it all, we may be reacting not to what’s real, but to a story we’ve told ourselves about how things should go.

My mum, bless her, was the Queen of Organisation. With four children and a job, she had to be. Each of us had assigned chores, and our weeks were structured down to the minute. I grew up knowing exactly what I’d be doing, and when. While life still threw curveballs, I found the predictability comforting. When I became a mother myself, I quickly saw how being organised helped ease stress, and that habit carried over into my work life.

Over three decades in the legal industry only reinforced that rhythm. Planning ahead, meeting deadlines, staying in routine, all of it created a sense of order in what was often a stressful environment. But over time, the rhythm became a rut. I began to feel stuck, drained of joy, and quietly suffocated by the very structure that once kept me afloat. I also realised that when organisation becomes too rigid, it stops being helpful. It becomes control.

As I deepened in awareness, I started to sense that time, at least as we know it, might not actually exist. That all time is now. That things unfold not when we want them to, but when the energy aligns. And from that perspective, life became gentler. I stopped expecting things to go a certain way, and with that, emotional reactions softened. I found myself detaching, from outcomes, from expectations, from old habits of control.

I made fewer plans. “Going with the flow” evolved into being the flow. I became more spontaneous. I let things go if they weren’t working, and trusted that something better might be waiting to fall into place. The most I now plan is a basic outline, one day at a time. As for those job interview questions like, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”, I’ve come to see them as part of a cultural story that often robs us of presence, creativity, and possibility. How can we know what five years will bring? Sometimes, we don’t even know what the next five minutes will bring.

I learned the hard way: plans rarely go according to plan.

Now, if something I want to do just isn’t flowing, I don’t push it. If the energy is not aligned, I let it be. I’ve noticed how stressed people get when things don’t go “according to plan”, the frustration, the disappointment, the tension it can cause in relationships. But often, those delays or disruptions are gifts. Protection. Rearrangements. Or just not the right time yet. The puzzle pieces aren’t in place. And when they are, everything clicks.

I thought I had this all sorted. Skeletal plan? Check. Present moment awareness? Check. Calendar reminders so I didn’t forget the essentials?  Check. It was working beautifully, until one day when I found myself in a situation where communication had been unclear, and I didn’t know what I was “meant” to be doing next. I’d been told one thing, then it suddenly changed. I felt confused, unprepared, and frustrated.

Old habits kicked in: irritation, storytelling, the mental narrative of how it should have been communicated differently. And underneath it all, discomfort. My little comfort zone, small as it was, had been nudged.

Then came the gentle wisdom of another: Does it really matter what you are doing next?

In that moment, I had to laugh. Who was creating the confusion? The person who hadn’t communicated clearly? Or me, reacting to a story in my head, projecting into the future, and leaving the present moment behind?

It was such a simple lesson, offered in such an effective way: Just show up. Be present. Do what’s needed in the moment of now. Let go of the rest.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2025. All rights reserved.
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