SPEAKING OUR TRUTH

I shared a quote on my Facebook Page Cheoco Enterprises some time ago now “Speak your truth EVEN if your voice shakes.”

I did so because it reminded me of many events in my life when I have needed to do this but one event, a very long time ago now, came to mind most when I saw this quote.

It was at a time when I was faced with one of those situations where you truly do not know what it is best to do, speak or remain silent. So as always my general rule of “When in doubt do nothing” applied until I was certain what my action would or would not be.

I also shared that quote because the memory of the particular situation brought with it how very valuable it can be to know what certain things mean for you symbolically in this so-called waking reality. In my last article I shared with you the discovery of the value of treating life as a dream and how it assists us to navigate our lives with a depth of vision and guidance which many of us wouldn’t normally usually even consider.

In relation to speaking my truth I came to a realisation many, many moons ago that when we act with honesty and integrity all we do is right after endless debates with myself where part of me would be wondering whether I was doing the right thing in whatever situation I was dealing with. Self-doubt would often debate with “knowing” but self-doubt is a whole other article.

The situation I was faced with was one where I knew that to speak would change a very limited view a group of people held about something on one hand and on the other to speak also felt like a huge betrayal of trust. To share what I thought I needed to and was feeling compelled to share would, I sensed, be of benefit to many as the realisation of an entirely different cause for certain behaviour would definitely have a ripple/flow on effect that would then assist even more people. The other aspect to it all was that I was still very raw emotionally from the truth I had discovered around the whole thing.

The dilemma in head and heart I faced was a challenging one indeed, to say the least. I had made the decision that I could not remain silent due to the many that would be assisted by what I had to say and I recall sitting outside a building waiting to speak to this group of people. Inside I was a trembling mess as my head and heart were both pulling me in different directions now, heart saying stay and speak as you have organised to do, head and fear saying get the hell out of here – NOW!! It was a moment of great anxiety as two parts of me were still debating even though a decision had been made and of the observer part of myself listening to this debate being caught smack bang in the middle of a flight or fight response from the other two parts of me.

It was in the midst of this mind/heart dilemma with only minutes to go before I would be called into the meeting that a Crow cawed several times. Crow for me is always symbolic of speaking my truth – there is much more to Crow but I can cover that in a later article. For now, speaking truth is what is most relevant about Crow’s presence in this story.

As I looked to the Sky to see where Crow was situated I found him in the East. Direction of new beginnings for me, along with a huge cloud shaped like an Elephant. As I watched this Elephant cloud its form started changing and it went from having its trunk lowered to rising it within a matter of moments as an Elephant does when they trumpet. At the moment when the trunk was at its highest point Crow cawed out again.

The message was very simple – be strong like the Elephant and speak your truth for new beginnings will come from it.

So yep I stayed. Walking into that room was hard as my legs were shaking and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. Speaking was difficult due to the sadness that was emerging at the same time for it is rare I can speak when I am releasing sadness and as my voice quivered and shook and my eyes leaked like rapidly dripping taps, I could see through my blurred vision by the stunned looks on the faces of all present what they had heard and seen the truth of, had indeed been a major wakeup call that they would now most certainly need to act on and I left that meeting knowing with everything in me I had done what was right.

There has been much of value I have learned and been gifted with during my life but I think and feel one of the greatest gifts I have ever received was the moment I realised I didn’t at all have to have a dream to assist me in guiding my life. That life constantly speaks to me through images, sounds, synchronicity and signs and what those things mean to me symbolically.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

LIFE AS A DREAM

“Everything that comes to me
is a reflection of Self so I see
that as within, so too without
leaving me with no doubt
of the work on Self that must be done
in order for Humanity to be consciously One.

Judging none, accepting all,
surrendering to the rise and fall,
fully feeling the pain inside,
from myself I can never hide,
and as I become One with my Soul
I begin to realise my only role
is to love and respect all that’s around me
but firstly love and respect for myself there must be.”

It was during a time of non-dreaming when I was needing answers and none were forthcoming by their usual method of delivery i.e. dreaming, that one day I thought I wonder what would happen if I started treating things, people, events and animals that crossed my path just as I would a dream. Would the answers I was seeking then come to me?

So with great curiosity I made a decision to start looking at life in that way whenever I had a re-action (re-acting out an old subconscious behavioural pattern I didn’t particularly like or experiencing intense emotions i.e. what folk normally refer to as a reaction rather than a response) or with whatever I encountered, bird, reptile, beast, the wind and whatever direction it was coming from, people who crossed my path, traffic lights, slogans and signs that “spoke” to me, numbers, rooms, street names, clouds that formed very definite shapes, types of trees – essentially everything that occurred or crossed my path in my so called “waking” reality in this physical realm of logical and rational thinking.

If for example a water pipe broke, a light bulb went out, a glass smashed, a door became stuck, if I got a red light run or a green light run etc., etc., I treated all exactly as I would a dream i.e. as an aspect of Self just as I would a “sleeping” dream when I woke up each morning. I would use the method I have developed for working with a dream, for always the present situation, our questions and feelings about it and the answer to any question or pondering we have during our waking reality will be revealed in dreaming. The good majority of us though, have lost the knowledge of how dreams speak to us and in fact how life truly speaks to us.

What I discovered amazed and excited me for when I started bringing the personal symbolic meanings I had spent a great deal of time getting to know, which I used in my dream analysis, along with my way of working with a dream, into my daily life, my experiences clearly showed me I was essentially in fact living one huge dream of my own creation whether “awake” or “asleep”.

Ever since I have therefore treated ALL that crosses my path as a symbolic aspect of my Self whenever I have needed to make a decision about which path to take at crossroads; to assist with just “knowing” whether something was right for me or not; or whenever there has been anything I haven’t quite understood which I do need to see and understand. It takes time to actually get the hang of this but if a person starts practising it a whole new awareness can open up and it truly will amaze.

The reality and biggest bonus for all being that folk don’t necessarily need to experience dreaming in what we term “sleep” in order to understand the deeper meanings behind the veil of illusion of everyday so called “waking” life that dreaming gives us.

When we start to look at daily life symbolically, as we would a dream, we find situations which arise are taken less personally and the ability can be gained to see a little deeper into the issue i.e. what it is teaching us about ourselves and the action we need to take, or not take, in relation to it.

We soon come to realise that messages for our personal growth, use and guidance are abundant and this is especially true when we are dealing with challenges (not problems) I personally believe, as John Lennon once said, “There are no problems, only solutions.” Challenges if you like, that we set up for ourselves to find creative solutions to, to test our skills, knowledge and growth and whether or not we have actually healed a wound that would normally create a re-action, as opposed to a response.

Often we will learn something and for a time it is only a theory that just makes perfect sense to us and resonates with us, then we will experience it i.e. we are given the chance and opportunity to put that theory into practice. Some lessons true, take longer to sink in than others, many refer to those repetitive lessons as mistakes or if they experience something that isn’t pleasant those too are seen as mistakes rather than just the learning curves that they are and folk will often throw a negative connotation on them but we will repeat something several times in various different scenarios until yep we now not only “know” it, as in the theory of it, but more importantly we have experienced it, integrated it and we now understand it and can apply it in our lives. As an example I can share for many many years I appeared to attract abusive behaviour by others, once I stopped abusing myself the reflection of that no longer appeared in others.

How many times do we encounter people who we feel treat us badly? We are often faced with situations that bring up emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness and disappointment. We, or the other person, are often left feeling the intensity of our emotions. Sometimes we confront the person and try to sort out the difficulty, other times we don’t. Often the issue is never mentioned again as we try to pretend nothing has happened yet we feel an invisible barrier with these folk, or we simply avoid the person who we think has caused our distress or discomfort. We often take “offence” to something another has done or said and therein lays a very interesting word. “Offence” when I play with it I get “A fence” – i.e. a barrier put up so strongly that no-one can get through it.

Many of us were never taught and still have not mastered effective communication skills or good confrontational skills. Most of us run a mile rather than confront another about any discomfort we may be experiencing due to what another has said, done or not done. Our whole conditioning in our western culture has been one of competition, of win or lose, of right and wrong, of my way or the highway, yet with effective communication skills and good confrontational skills it does not need to be this way. Interactions can move from discomfort, strong emotion or attack and blame scenarios to one of clear boundaries, assertive and effective communication, self-confidence and mutual respect with a desire to understand where each other is coming from by asking questions, by being curious, rather than judging, accusing, assuming, blaming, shaming, attempting to “make” another feel guilty or creating a fence.

Once we begin to look at absolutely everything and everyone who crosses our path as being a symbolic aspect of Self/part of Self we start to feel acceptance and gratitude for whatever comes our way, although granted we certainly may not feel that when the event that has triggered our own subconscious distress and re-active behaviour first occurs!

It is however OUR distress to deal with. No-one can “make” another feel anything – they are OUR feelings, no-one else’s. Learning and understanding what I perceive to be the lost language of dreams can help us all enormously for it is one of our greatest allies, providing a wealth of healing, knowledge and wisdom accessible to every single person on the planet freely and frequently.

Everywhere we go, everything we hear, everything we overhear, everyone we meet and every single situation we encounter has a deeper meaning when treated symbolically. Messages are EVERYWHERE yet we rarely see them, let alone give thanks for them or the priceless gifts they and others bring into our lives. We are usually too busy rushing here or there and realistically where are we all really rushing to? Many say “I’m getting there” where exactly is “there”?

Often folk are so busy talking about a situation, feeling we are hard done by, or rehashing events that have upset us over and over in our minds to stop and be still enough to truly listen and see the truth of what is really occurring.

Often we struggle and suffer through our experiences, judging, blaming, resenting, accusing, making assumptions and trying to figure out why another has behaved the way they have, yet rarely do we even ask them why or ask what is going on for them. More times than not most folk will discuss the issue with someone else, with both assuming or trying to guess why another has done or said whatever they have done or said to supposedly cause another distress or upset.

Sometimes we even go so far as to not even speak to those who we feel caused our distress. Our ingrained subconscious conditioning is to continually project ourselves onto others blaming them for whatever happens in OUR lives and whatever emotions WE feel.

Every single experience we have had or do have in life we have created at a deeper level for ourselves. Each one of us has been given “free will” and once we truly get this we have learnt to accept FULL responsibility for everything that has and does occur in our lives.

One of the quickest, most beautiful and easiest empowering words any of us can ever use is “I”. I feel, I think, I am wondering, I need to, I should, I must, I will, rather than using words like “you make me”, “you think I”, “you need to”, “you should/shouldn’t”, “you must/mustn’t”, “you don’t” etc.

So many times the use of “you” lands up in an argument with raised voices and intense emotions coming to the surface. It seems to me that often when we don’t feel heard or understood we automatically raise our voice perhaps in a subconscious effort to be heard yet it is not the volume attached to what we need to say that is creating the misunderstanding in most situations – saying something louder doesn’t make it any better understood, it just leads to the other person raising their voice also. It is rather synchronistic that as I am typing this in the background I can hear a classic “YOU”, “YOU”, “YOU” argument which is occurring quite loudly on the television which another in the Bat Cave has turned on.

The moment we use the word you in front of any other word, more particularly when we are experiencing strong emotional re-actions or discomfort, we are projecting onto another person and we will automatically create a barrier between that person and our Self.

Whereas if we replace “you” with “I” we neither give our own personal power away, nor our Self responsibility, nor will another throw up an invisible barrier that “you” smacks them in the face with as being a personal attack on them, which then pushes them into a space of instant defence caused by offence, and further away.

There is a nursery rhyme I am sure many will remember which on the surface means diddly squat really and yet it holds great and profound wisdom:-

“Row Row Row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily
Life is but a Dream!”

When looked at symbolically this rhyme holds far greater meaning than we generally give it credit for, for realistically most of us give it no credit and perhaps think of it as a cute but silly little nursery rhyme young children seem to have enjoyed hearing and singing over time.

Essentially a boat is a vessel that journeys on top of and through water. Our bodies are the vessels we journey through life in. Water is generally symbolic of our emotions. Therefore symbolically speaking the boat represents us and how we could be handling the emotions we travel through, if we all truly realised Life is But a Dream, of our own creation.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

THE TRUE NATURE OF THE DOLL

Whilst Rudolf Steiner had much wonderful insight to share in relation to the importance of The Doll for all children and subsequently our culture/society and ultimately the world we all live in (which if interested you can read for yourself as it is just all too big for here) I stumbled across the following quite some time ago in Women Who Run With The Wolves which resonated with me strongly and which, I thought, may also be of interest to some.

I could very much relate to what Ms. Estes has to say about Dolls. The following comes from her analysis of the story of Vasalisa.

“Dolls are one of the symbolic treasures of the instinctual nature. In Vasalisa’s case, the doll represents vidacita, the little instinctual life force that is both fierce and enduring. No matter what mess we are in, it lives out a life hidden within us.

For centuries humans have felt that dolls emanate both a holiness and mana – an awesome and compelling presence which acts upon persons, changing them spiritually. Dolls are believed to be infused with life by their makers.

The Doll is the symbolic homunculi, little life. It is the symbol of what lies buried in humans that is numinous. It is a small and glowing facsimile of the original Self. Superficially, it is just a doll. But inversely, there is a little piece of soul that carries all the knowledge of the larger soul-Self.

The Doll is related to the symbols of leprechaun, elf, pixie, fairy, and dwarf. In fairy tales these represent a deep throb of wisdom within the culture of the psyche. They are those creatures which go on with the canny and interior work, who are tireless. In this way the doll represents the inner spirit of women; the voice of inner reason, inner knowing, and inner consciousness.

The doll is like the little bird in fairy tales who comes and whispers in the heroine’s ear, the one who reveals the hidden enemy and what to do about it all. This is the wisdom of homunculus, the small being within. It is our helper which is not seeable, but which is always accessible.

The dolls serve as talismans. Talismans are reminders of what is felt but not seen, what is so, but is not immediately obvious. The talismanic numen of the doll is that it reminds us, tells us, and sees ahead for us. This intuitive function belongs to all women. It is a massive and fundamental receptivity. Not receptivity as once touted in classical psychology that is as a passive vessel. But receptivity as in possessing immediate access to a profound wisdom that reaches to women’s very bones.”

Personally I have never been a fan of plastic dolls with false smiley faces or “perfect” model bodies and as a child I was never drawn to Barbie dolls at all even though they were all the rage during my childhood. As I have grown older I can see how that fits with my own need to always be real, raw and passionate and not pretend I am anything I am not. The last thing I reckon a child would want when they are upset is to cuddle a cold plastic doll with a painted smiley face. If it were me and I was upset I reckon I would want to throw it as far away from me as possible. To my way of thinking something soft and warm, made with love and care rather than a slapped together plastic mould type deal would always bring more comfort and nurturing.

What I have always found very interesting to observe over the years as the Bat Cave has been and still is a workplace for making dolls, toys and other items, is that absolutely every single item I have made of the doll/toy variety my son, as he was growing up wanted too, and his face would often light up with excitement as he witnessed each new creation. He was so perceptive that quite a while back his attention was drawn to a particular flower child I was making and he said “I really like this one, she is full of Spirit.”

So…. I cannot help but believe that Ms Pinkola Estes’ perception of the doll is a true reflection of their nature because there truly is something very special, beautiful and magical that occurs for me in the realm of doll/toy making. It is not seen, it is not measurable in terms of logic, but it contains a feeling that is truly beyond words, not just for me the maker, but more importantly for those who receive them.

I personally find there is nothing more satisfying for me than taking raw materials that look like nothing special or much at all and turning them into gorgeous little life and loved filled creations. There is also nothing more magical in my world than seeing the looks on folk’s faces when they see them on the table at the market.

Eyes light up, big smiles come, faces soften and exclamations of how cute and beautiful they are, are common. You can see the inner child in many come forth when they look at and feel my creations and in a world that is mostly full of manufactured, whack it out as fast as you can items, based on nothing more than making a profit which fall apart in no time, it is so very lovely to be able to bring the gift of handmade to many, for it is in those moments when I can see and also feel the affect my creations have on folk that truly do make the many hours they take to create oohh so worth it.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

 

WOLF MEDICINE

Image

Wolves in general over time have been given a rather bad name and many fear them, simply because they do not understand them and I doubt our perception of them in stories like Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs etc. did much to endear them to us as children.

Highly intelligent creatures and for me extremely beautiful animals they exist within a pack that has a very definite hierarchy.  Each Wolf knowing its place within that system.  Whilst this system exists there is also a certain amount of democracy to the way they function.  Just depends on the circumstances of the moment as to whether the rules are followed or freedom of choice is allowed and all know what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour and the consequences should they choose to break the rules.

They are very strong animals, extremely protective of their young, they work together – bringing in a strong sense of community.  They travel great distances in order to catch prey gorging themselves fully and wasting nothing of that prey once they catch it.  They are also very loyal to their own kind taking one partner only for life and having a very strong sense of family about them.   Yet there is also a strong individualistic urge within each.

Whilst they are assertive, they do not fight for the sake of fighting, or attack unless threatened, they are very territorial but often just a look or a growl is enough to be a deterrent to anything threatening them or annoying them.  (Just ask my daughter and those who know me well and they will tell you how true this is.)

I recently experienced the last group sleep over for my son’s birthday, requesting that the 5 boys entrusted in my care please not wake me when I went to bed.  Around 2am I was woken by their loud chatterings and yelled out asking them to please keep it down.  They agreed but about 10 – 15 minutes later I was again woken, this time more fully and as I walked through the lounge area in the Bat Cave towards the kitchen I just looked at them all and totally unplanned and unconsciously let out a rather loud Wolfy growl.  I’ve honestly never seen 5 boys move so quickly in my life into their respective sleeping spots for the night and I never heard another peep out of any of them.  I was later told my Wolfy growl scared the crap out of them.   Who knew a growl could be so effective and so, being part Wolf does indeed have many advantages.

Their main prey is Deer and they only take on that which they know they can handle.  Generally speaking they only kill that which is already sick or weak.  Their senses are also very keen – particularly their sense of smell and hearing.  Having Wolf as one of my main totems I also find Wolves to be rather fearless, curious creatures and extremely loving and compassionate, yet firm and decisive.   There are a few stories throughout the ages that come to mind about how human children have been adopted by Wolves – The Jungle Book for one.

Wolf is associated with the Moon – which in some cultures is the energy of the feminine, psychic energy and the subconscious.  I personally see Wolf as being a symbol of the Wild Feminine Spirit within each of us here on Earth due to its nature and strong connection to the Moon.

Native Americans refer to the Stars as “The Great Star Nation” – within The Great Star Nation exists the Dog Star – Sirius – which represents Wolf.   In Egyptian times Sirius was known as the home of the Gods and during my research on Wolf I read that a tribe in Africa still believe this to be so.

For Native Americans their legends also speak of Sirius being the original home of their teachers in ancient times and therefore Wolf people form part of the Clan of Teachers.  Wolf being the tribe’s greatest teacher as those with Wolf Medicine often carve new paths for the betterment of humanity and are known as Path Finders.

Wolf’s Medicine brings us all the attributes of Wolf and one of the main tasks I have found with Wolf as my power ally/totem during many life times is to share my knowledge by way of writing and giving talks in such a way that it helps others to understand themselves more fully – their own unique beauty, individuality or path in life and their connection to all that exists.

Wolf Medicine is also about making and taking time to be alone – seeking out lonely places in nature – in order to become more aware of the teacher within, becoming more aware of our intuition, our wild feminine spirit and listening to it, as well as contributing to the betterment of humanity and finding balance between the two.

Whenever Wolf appears to you in any form a good question to ask yourself is “What are you teaching me about myself?”

Hooooowwwwwlllllll

Namaste.

© C. O’Connor 2014

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com

#‎WUVIP

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

THE HEALING POWER OF ANGER

Many see anger as a “bad” thing, a negative emotion that perhaps should not be expressed. Personally I just see all emotions as different forms of energy.

Imagine if you will that your body is a capped volcano. On the outside is a solid calm presence that hides within it a very alive and active amount of energy. The cap stopping the flow of this energy is one consisting of being polite and not letting fly whilst within the energy simmers and brews becoming more and more frustrated pushing its way to the top needing release before it implodes and damages our bodies.

As the frustration builds and builds in its intensity with one thing after another suddenly “the last straw” comes along. The energy can be held in place no longer and so whammo off comes the cap of politeness, of holding your tongue and our frustration which has been building ever so intensely spews forth like hot lava affecting everyone in its path.

Once the lava emerges what then? You’ve usually surprised a lot of folk and perhaps even yourself that you went off so badly and perhaps you and others are suddenly in shock that you have let fly. Whilst you feel good that your frustration has been set free which due to being squashed down time and time again turned into anger you are also left feeling somewhat embarrassed and perhaps in awe or even in fear of the amount of energy that came flying out of you spitting hot rocks and lava everywhere. Most folk when they do finally let fly then apologise for having done so – why? Is our conditioning so very entrenched in relation to not allowing ourselves to express anger?

Let’s dig a little deeper shall we to see what is contained within the now just simmering lava that is flowing and 10 times out of 10 you will find buried beneath it all lays a wound that you have been unconsciously protecting that exists from some moment in time which was inflicted upon you that has been covered up time and time again with layers of protection in fear so that another does not wound us in the same way again.

Once the cap of frustration and anger blows and the pain of the wound is actually felt, it exists no more, nor do the layers protecting it.

It was very interesting to me quite some time ago now to observe the behaviour of another who was using alcohol as “medicine” to numb pain and who was often angry, hurt full towards others and many times totally irrational as folk suffering the sickness of alcohol self-medication are. I sensed fear, an inability to cope and a very deep wound lay beneath it all so the alcohol and anger if you like was just the protection being used to push others away, ultimately totally and kept anyone from getting anywhere near the wound so the pain of it would not be felt.

In this individual I was reminded of the analogy of a wounded animal, in that the first instinct of any animal when wounded is to act aggressively when another tries to assist care for them or help heal their wound. Anger can be quite destructive to relationships but to dig deeper and find the wound is the blessing in it. However as with all things it is totally up to the individual whether or not they actually want to face and feel their own pain or whether they just continue on with their lives protecting themselves and pushing other folk away with their defensive fear based anger, for the greatest form of defence is known to be attack first.

I also find that anger is a wonderful energy if used without hurting other folk with words for weapons or physically, for it gives me the rocket fuel, if you like, I sometimes need, to propel me into action or into what I term Warrior mode and make changes in my life I’ve been thinking about but haven’t yet acted on and yes always underneath it so far I have found fear, a wound and pain.

We all reach our “enough” point at some stage, some of us sooner rather than later. A very wise person once said to me “If you know something is poisonous, stop taking it.” They were not referring at the time to a physical substance being ingested (although that does apply) but to behaviours by others that make us upset or cause us pain. Behaviours that are not kind and do not bring us any sense of peace, calm or love. Whether those behaviours are our own or another’s.

Many say if you truly love someone it shouldn’t matter what crap they throw at you or how much pain they bring you, you should just stick it out and put up with it. Personally I say bollocks to that for there does indeed come a time when you have to love yourself, your own peace of mind and being, more than continually putting up with being in the projectionary firing line of another’s unhealed wounds. It is often the case that out of love for yourself and another you reach your enough point and just totally walk away, leaving them to stew in their own crap and with any luck enough space to finally start looking at themselves and start dealing with whatever has caused them to behave in the hurtful way they have been.

So…. anger is not, in my reality, a “bad” thing at all when we see it for what it truly is and do no harm to others with it. It is in fact a very powerful energy that moves us forward and helps us see, feel and heal our wounds.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

COMPROMISE

Like most words it’s a really interesting one when you stop and look at it and play around with it a little for in it I actually see two words Com and Promise – so what does it really mean?

Well according to one dictionary source com is a prefix meaning “with,” “together,” “in association,” and (with intensive force) “completely,” occurring in loanwords from Latin ( commit ): used in the formation of compound words before b, p, m: combine; compare; commingle.

Promise from my perception means that no matter what, I will do what I say I will. It may be that I can’t always do it exactly when I said I would but regardless of how long it takes I will do it anyway. For me a promise is linked in with a person’s integrity and honesty and displays, or not, their ability to “Walk their Talk” and whether or not they can be trusted and believed when they speak.

For me a promise is only ever something I can honestly make from the depths of my being, from the very core and heart of my soul and it is a sacred vow for me once spoken because regardless of what I have to go through, endure or deal with that vow will not ever be broken nor completed via the contract I have made by promising anything, until I have done what I have promised I will do.

Hence, I rarely ever make promises because life is so changeable and so much happens and the only time I make a promise is when I know with absolutely certainty and no doubt whatsoever within me that I can keep a promise, no matter what, which is why my book The Promise was given that title.

According to one dictionary there are several definitions for the word Promise:-

1. is a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc., by one: unkept political promises.
2. an express assurance on which expectation is to be based: promises that an enemy will not win.
3. something that has the effect of an express assurance; indication of what may be expected.
4. indication of future excellence or achievement: a writer who shows promise.
5. something that is promised.

So…. what happens when we put Com and Promise together well yes we get Compromise but what then does that word really mean?

When I put them together not only do I get compromise but I also get a binding and complete contract if you like with another person that no matter what will not be broken and that is my own personal standard definition of the word.

However, according to one dictionary when the words com and promise come together they actually create meanings such as these:-

1. A settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
2. the result of such a settlement.
3. something intermediate between different things: The split-level is a compromise between a ranch house and a multistoried house.
4. an endangering, especially of reputation; exposure to danger, suspicion, etc.: a compromise of one’s integrity.
verb (used with object), com•pro•mised, com•pro•mis•ing.
5. to settle by a compromise.
6. to expose or make vulnerable to danger, suspicion, scandal, etc.; jeopardize: a military oversight that compromised the nation’s defenses.
7. Obsolete .
a. to bind by bargain or agreement.
b. to bring to terms.

With these second lot of definitions in mind, which are the ones most folk normally associate compromise with, and given that the majority of us involve ourselves in relationships that appear to involve compromise as a major component, how is it that any of us can be truly happy when we compromise ourselves in the context of the meanings the majority place on the word?

I was speaking with a friend a while ago now and said something like “it’s all about comprising” as we were discussing “relationships”. This friend shared with me that no they did not believe that and then told me the following story which I have remembered as best as I can from my perception of it.

It was a fairly typical story of two people who meet, both living in separate places some distance away from each other quite happily. Neither wanting to move into each other’s space due to the distance they would then have to travel to where they needed to be for children’s schooling, work etc.

They wanted to live together just not in each other’s current place of residence so they compromised and both moved to a house, into an area neither really liked, so that the distance they each had to travel to be where they needed to be was equal.

This resulted in both now needing to travel a greater distance than they were on a daily basis, adjust to living together with each other and their respective children all in a house and an area neither particularly liked.

So what are the chances do you think of all involved being happy when all have compromised (with the word meaning the second lot of definitions I have shared) living arrangements they were perfectly happy with prior to meeting each other and when their relationship in that house is now built on a foundational stone of compromise?

This story is one I have heard often and one I have also lived for there once was a time when I saw compromise as most see it.

I once had also thought myself that compromise with that meaning attached to it was a necessary factor in a relationship. The old give and take as opposed to give and receive (there is a huge difference) and give all you can to anything you really want to make happen or experience. Therein lays another issue in the word “make”. For truly we can never “make” anything happen where another is involved. At best we can give it a go and if both are committed plans are usually made and we create together whatever it is we have decided to create but we can never ever “make” another do anything.

I myself once compromised my way of life to move to another state to be with someone I loved because in many respects it was, at the time, easier for me to do so than him.

I gave up my whole way of life thinking my life would be better than it was at that time. Reality proved me wrong for it became a situation of me doing all the giving, me being the one constantly “compromising” what I wanted to experience in my life and in return I received a lot of abuse, ultimately ill health emotionally, financially, mentally and physically from another whose behaviour, lack of respect and narcissism, together with a previously unknown issue with alcohol which was being used to numb a heck of a lot of disenfranchised grief that had not been dealt with, all of which only became apparent once I had made the move over 1,000 kilometres away from my “home” area of some 28 years to an area I absolutely detested and often referred to as “the cess pit”. Essentially compromise in that situation wasn’t healthy for me or my son and cost me dearly in more ways than one. It also taught me much for which I was and am most grateful.

Compromise with the “normal” meaning of the word attached to it, from what I have seen from being on the planet for 50 years rarely ever turns out for the best when each and every one of us, by our very nature, requires the personal freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want to within the confines or our societal structures, personal morals and values of course, independence and peace in our lives.

Compromise again with the “normal” definition from what I have seen leads to resentment and a host of other emotions that do not include joy, happiness or peace for how can we give another the best of us and experience joy, peace or happiness when we have in fact compromised ourselves and what truly makes us happy, joyous or peace full?

So … personally, like my friend, I can’t see that compromise, as so very many of us know it to be, actually really works too well for any of us and I can’t imagine that any time soon I will be choosing to compromise myself in that context again.

Compromise however as I have come to know it and define it appears to me to be a whole different ball game.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

TRUST

It’s a biggy isn’t it?

No doubt we’ve all believed what someone has told us with everything in us and then wham we learn the hard way that person is NOT to be trusted. So… where do you go from there once trust is gone? I haven’t yet experienced that you can re-build it totally with the person who broke it. At the very least you are indeed wary of believing much anymore that comes out of that person’s mouth.

Yet we innately trust when we are children. We trust we will be fed, bathed, clothed and we don’t concern ourselves too much at all really with the adult world of money, distrust, blame, judgment or gossip.  Young children have no awareness of there being a me and them and they are full of trust and love.

As women, when we are pregnant we trust that the life we have growing inside us knows exactly what it’s doing. We all trust that we can breathe, we trust that our blood flows through our veins 24/7 and that our bodies know, somehow, how to work properly without us having to think too much about any of it. We trust the sun will come up each day and we trust that the seasons will come and go as they have done for eons.

Many trust that there is a higher power that is guiding them in their lives. They can’t see it but most trust that it exists in the form of God or whatever other label we use to describe something that we believe is outside of us that we think has power over us and our lives. When good things happen we thank “God” or the Universe or whatever our belief is. When bad things happen, generally speaking, we play the blame game.  Many have horrible, shocking, terrible things happen to them and then say how could “God” let that happen?  Some people come into this world and then are gone again rather quickly and again many of us say “they were too young to die” because our expectation, generally speaking, is that folk once born will live to ripe old ages.

Personally I figure we are all here only for as long as we need to be, to do whatever it is we came to do and once we have accomplished that, we go.  It’s almost like being contracted for a certain period of time to do a job, only thing is we often don’t know when our or another person’s contract will end.

So much in our lives often happens for reasons that many of us don’t get to even see until much further down the track and it can be difficult at times to remain trusting of that process.  It is like we live in a shadow world here. A world that has had for many a long time a blanket of fear, greed and ignorance, separation, power and control thrown over it with many only starting in recent times to lift that blanket off themselves and consequently the world.

It occurs to me that it is rather odd that we put our faith and trust in something that cannot be seen, which we think is external to us, like what we refer to as “God” and yet we cannot trust that the folk who come into our lives who we can see, do so to show us something about ourselves we haven’t yet seen.

It seems to me that a bit of a battle also occurs within when our logic and our conditioning tells us one thing yet our gut tells us another. Our logic can come up with any reasonable justification for anything we like to tell ourselves and at the end of the day it’s all just a story but how many folk actually stop the head chatter long enough to essentially feel, listen to and trust our own gut feelings regardless of what anyone tells us?  How many of us rush into situations due to feeling needy, pressured or even guilty then once we’ve dived in wonder how the hell can I now get out of this?

Experience tells me gut feelings are our warning alarm bells that come from what we refer to as “God”, “Goddess” etc.  The more we pay attention to them, like building a muscle, the stronger they get, the more frequently they are felt.  They, along with synchronicity and looking at all symbolically as an aspect of self rather than literally, are things we can use to guide us as we do our Earth Walks.

Generally speaking our whole western cultured education system is learning about data and rules and then being tested on our ability to remember them.  It’s all mostly head work so many of us have been conditioned to be very busy in our heads not even pay attention to what I call gut nav.  Much of what we learn in school becomes rather useless when we leave that environment for we are not taught life skills, just facts, figures and numbers and we are conditioned to learn what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour within the societies we live in.  Our western conditioning is also geared around do well at school, i.e. follow the rules and pass all their tests, then perhaps go on to further study, get a good paying job, buy lots of things, perhaps travel for a bit, find a mate, “settle down”, have children, get yourself into a bucket load of debt and then live happily ever after – hmmm doesn’t really quite work like that does it?

Perhaps it doesn’t work that way for ever so many because that is what exists in our heads, what has been drummed into many of us from an early age, it is not what exists in our hearts and how would many of us even know what exists in our hearts when we have been told from a very young age, generally speaking, absolutely zip shit about listening to them and trusting our own gut nav to help us navigate our paths in life?

We constantly, mostly, seek outside ourselves for answers, opinions from others when we are needing advice and validation of our own self-worth, never having really being taught how to listen to and trust our own inner workings and gut nav in daily situations we find ourselves in.  We most definitely, a lot of the time, put our trust into others and not ourselves.  Then we get our noses all out of whack when someone lets us down due to our own expectations which live in our heads.

Many speak of unconditional love – i.e. meaning loving folk without conditions/expectations attached.  Love is just love and it is not something that we have been conditioned to feel and live for conditioning lives in our heads, not our hearts.  So for me the term unconditional love takes on a whole new meaning i.e. Love is not that which we have been conditioned to believe it is.  Our expectations more than anything are what truly let us down when we trust them and others more than we do our own hearts and gut nav.

So very often we get angry with and blame others for whatever we feel as if it is their fault they have let us down.  Really we are just angry with ourselves for allowing that to occur due to our expectations.  Rarely are we honest enough with ourselves to say to ourselves I participated in that situation for whatever reason and start to dig deeper into ourselves to find the gold nugget of learning or even healing the experience has given us.

At the end of the day trust in our own Self and in life is what is learned, usually the hard way, and when we can trust ourselves way more than we can by putting our blind faith and trust into others, we have freedom from blame, expectations and we have peace.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© C. O’Connor.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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Image credit: Pixabay.

GRATITUDE

We often give thanks to those who have been kind, loving, and supportive and who have helped us when we have needed help. It is the most natural thing for us to be and to feel in such circumstances.

For myself and I don’t doubt others, there have been many in my life who have been there to help me pick up the pieces when the shit has literally hit the fan.

So many people I have met along the way whose nature it is to help others. These types of people warm our hearts and restore our faith in the good we know exists in humanity and we have every reason to be grateful for their presence in our lives and in the world.

For all the wonderful people I have shared parts of my journey with there have been just as many people who caused me pain, tore me down, abused me, hit me, yelled at me, hassled me, bullied me, made me ill, made me feel small, scared me, broke my heart, ignored me, told me I wasn’t good enough, told me I was wrong, stupid, pathetic, crazy, an idiot, criticised me, gossiped about me, broke my heart, caused me trauma and distress, caused things I had spent a huge amount of time, effort and energy creating to be destroyed and bla bla bla.

Many in this world seem to think that success is about having “things”, the more they have the happier they think they will be. Many see success in terms of how much money one accumulates or how high up the corporate ladder they climb or even how well known they become. Success in this world is often portrayed as being linked with money – the more you have the more successful you are.

Personally I don’t see any of that and never have done for I see success as being the ability to feel just as much love and gratitude for those who have treated us badly as we have for those who have, without a second thought, gone out of their way to assist us whenever we have needed whatever we have needed.

For it seems to me it is a combination of both types of people who show us what we truly need to know about ourselves, who give us strength, teach us love and forgiveness and who help us become our full potential.

When we feel total love and gratitude for all that has been, is and is yet to be, and can truly see the gifts of love given by those who we feel have treated us badly – we have peace and well personally I don’t know of any greater success than that.

Cheers, Cheryl.
Copyright. C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Image: Valerie Sjodin

THE POWER OF DREAMS & CHILDREN

Beautiful Child speak to me of the magic I no longer see.

Show me how to live again with joy, love and laughter

not judgement and blame.

Tell me all your stories so I may find my way

inward to the Kingdom of Heaven that in each of us does lay.

I am often asked how parents can help ease the anxiety of the intense feelings children can sometimes experience in dream state and upon waking.

There are many ways in which we can assist.  Firstly adults need to realise that DREAMS ARE REAL!  They are not just products of over-active imaginations.  If they are treated as real events by adults, and children have the freedom to express their experiences both waking and sleeping, the children learn that they are safe and they don’t have to carry around the feelings of their experience, nor do they necessarily need to have repeating dream experiences occur.

Just because us adults cannot see the monster hiding under the bed, or the “imaginary” friend, the fairies and whatever else children can see does not mean for one second that those things do not exist.  Children are far more “open” than we are and have not lost their connection like we have to Spirit.

Sometimes a dream can be too scary or horrible for children to talk about and so other ways of expression need to be looked at.  The following applies as much to adults as it does to children.

A special book in which a child can write and/or draw whatever they need to is useful.  Painting, modelling, poetry or any other creative medium can also be used.  Drama has wonderful results when the child plays out the part of the monster or whatever he/she chooses to from the dream, with adults encouraging the child to take control of the situation.

A delightful example of how this works so beautifully came to me some time ago.  I read about an innovative school teacher in Tasmania who instead of the normal “show and tell” sessions has introduced “Dream Discussion”.  She stated that she found it helpful to class morale and co-operation because the children realise that they all have similar experiences, feelings and fears.

The story that was included in this article of how effective Dream Work with children is, follows:-

A young girl had a Wolf visit her in her dreams every night, so the teacher did some role playing with this child and they discovered (with the child playing the role of the Wolf) that the only reason he came to her all the time was because she was “so easy to scare.”

The girl proceeded to draw and colour the Wolf as she had seen him in her dreams, she then screwed the drawing up, jumped up and down on it a few times, tore it to pieces and put it in the bin.

That night the Wolf came to her in a dream and he had bandages all over him.   The next night again he returned but this time he was in a wheel chair.  The third night he came on a stretcher and told her she’d won, she’d finally killed him and then he died.

I’m sure much to the little girl’s relief.

Another useful form of expression is “Dream Talk”.  I usually find that over breakfast is a good time for this whilst it is still fresh in the child’s mind.  If a child knows they can talk about their dreams and not be ridiculed they will do so frequently and usually in great detail.  Adults can then use this dream information, if they choose to, to gain a clearer insight into what is REALLY going on with the child or children in their care.

You’ll be in for many pleasant surprises, challenges and sometimes amazement if you start practising this regularly.  I have personally found in the past that my daughter’s self-esteem, sense of self and her ability to find her own solutions to life’s challenges was greatly enhanced by both of us working with her dreams.

“Enjoy your children as your teachers,

not for what you necessarily wanted to learn

but for what you needed to discover.”

Mother Teresa.

© C. O’Connor 2013.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Image sourced from internet – creator unknown.

THE WISDOM HIDDEN IN FAIRY TALES


More Than Bedtime Stories

Most people think of fairy tales as sweet bedtime stories for children, pleasant little fables to pass the time before sleep. But when we look beneath the surface, their layers of meaning open like a map, guiding us through the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.

The Forest and the Journey

In almost every classic tale, the storyline begins the same way: a young soul leaves “home”, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and ventures into the wider world. Along the way, they face trials and temptations: witches and wolves, dragons and goblins, wicked stepmothers and treacherous strangers. They may be imprisoned, lost in the forest, or lulled into a deep sleep.

The forest is one of the most enduring symbols in fairy tales. It is not simply scenery, but a living teacher. To enter the dark forest is to step into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar and the safe. It is here that old identities are stripped away, and we must learn to trust a deeper compass of soul. Every shadow and every clearing becomes a guide, showing us that what looks like confusion or danger is also the fertile ground of transformation. Rivers, storms, mountains, and caves serve the same role, thresholds that reshape us if we dare to enter.

Yet, just as often, help arrives, through animals, elemental beings, wise old helpers, or mysterious friends. And when they finally “return home,” they are not the same as when they left. For home is not a physical place at all, it is a return to one’s true self. The journey strips us bare, tests our faith, and teaches us who we really are.

It is important to remember these stories were never meant to be harmless diversions. Long before they were bound in books, fairy tales lived as oral traditions, told around firesides to transmit wisdom, warnings, and hope. They were teaching maps, guiding communities through danger, instinct, resilience, and transformation.

Villains, Helpers and Thresholds

And those so-called “villains”? I do not see them as villains at all. Patriarchy turned them into shadows, wolves, witches, dragons, fearsome figures to frighten us away from their power. But really, it is our own power they mirror back to us: instinct, intuition, raw life force, and the ability to transform. When we meet these figures within, we reclaim parts of ourselves long suppressed. The Witch becomes the Crone, carrying wisdom for thresholds and endings. The Wolf becomes a fierce protector of boundaries. And the Dragon? The Dragon is the guardian of our own inner treasure and power, waiting for us to grow strong enough to step forward and claim it.

Fairy tales also remind us of endings. Sometimes people leave our lives through choice, distance, or even death. As painful as this is, symbolically it may reflect a deeper truth: their energy is no longer aligned with where we are on our journey. In this way, every loss is also a threshold, one that asks us to meet more of ourselves, to grow into new awareness, and to walk forward carrying what was true in love.

Fairy tales remind us too that help often comes in overlooked forms. A talking bird, a humble servant, or a creature of the wild may hold the key to survival. The “simpleton,” mocked for being foolish, is often the one who succeeds where others fail, precisely because they trust what is small, quiet, or easily dismissed. These tales teach us that wisdom rarely arrives dressed in the power we expect. It slips in through the ordinary, reminding us that the sacred hides in plain sight.

Windows, Mirrors and Doorways

Windows, mirrors, and doorways are some of the ways life shows us these Selves. A window may let us see through to where another is truly coming from or reflect ourselves back depending on the angle of light. A mirror shows us our own reflection, sometimes sharply, sometimes kindly. And a doorway? That is the threshold another offers us into a new awareness. Often, whatever we see in another exists within us too, otherwise how could we see it? Some mirror to us where we are presently at and others where we have been at some point in time. Often, in any one interaction, all three roles are present at once. These are not accidents, they are guides.

The True Happily Ever After

Just like the characters in these tales, many of us spend years searching outside ourselves for happiness. We might long for “one true love” to sweep us away, believing they will complete us. And for a while, it might feel like they do. But no matter how romantic the promise, no person can be our everything, especially when we have yet to become that for ourselves.

This is where so many of us misunderstood the “happily ever after.” Disney did not exactly sell us a lie, rather, our culture mistranslated the deeper truth. Long before Disney, the tales themselves were pointing inward. The Prince and Princess were never really about someone else rescuing us. They are symbols of our own inner masculine and feminine. But growing up in a patriarchal system, we were taught to externalise everything: happiness, success, love, even salvation. No wonder so many felt or feel disillusioned when the promise did not hold.

When we look symbolically, the “kiss” that wakes the sleeping one is not about romance at all. It is about awakening, when our masculine energy of logic and clarity meets our feminine energy of intuition and creativity. In that inner union, something comes alive. Balance is restored. We no longer need someone else to complete us, though we may share life with another from a place of wholeness. This is the true happily ever after.

Every fairy tale also carries the rhythm of life itself, descent and return, death and rebirth, endings and beginnings. Sleeping Beauty is not just about a princess in slumber; it is about the necessity of rest and renewal before awakening to new life. Snow White’s glass coffin mirrors the suspended state we sometimes find ourselves in, when part of us has died but the rebirth has not yet arrived. To live consciously is to honour these cycles rather than resist them, recognising that every ending makes space for a new beginning.

The Hero Has Always Been Us

At the heart of it all, every fairy tale whispers the same truth: the hero has always been us. The dangers, helpers, and transformations we read about are mirrors of our own trials and triumphs. The quest is not about rescuing or being rescued, it is about remembering who we truly are. And in the end, to “return home” is to return to that true self, whole, awake, and fully alive.

When a child asks for a story, it may be the soul’s way of speaking, theirs, and yours. Children often choose the very tale that carries the medicine both need to hear. A bedtime request can be far more than whimsy; it can be a mirror of the family’s journey, a whisper of what the soul is trying to surface. In this way, our children become our teachers, reminding us of the truths we may have forgotten.

But we cannot hear these truths if our minds are always noisy. When we chatter constantly, whether in our heads or with our mouths, we block the whispers of Soul and nature wisdom. We need stillness. We need silence. As the saying goes: “When we speak, we only repeat what we know. When we listen, we may learn something new.”

For all of us, no matter our profession or path, this symbolic lens matters. We may find ourselves trapped in a “sleeping spell” of grief, stalked by a “wolf” of fear, or longing for the “helper” who reminds us of our strength and true nature. Fairy tales can be bridges, helping us name our inner landscapes in ways that ordinary language cannot.

The original tales of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen hold far more than quaint moral lessons. They speak to the courage, faith, and trust needed to walk through life’s dark forests and return with wisdom. And they remind us that when a child asks for a certain story, it may be speaking directly to your soul as much as theirs, holding a mirror to where you are on your own journey.

After all, the so-called “real world” is itself the greatest fairy tale of all, an unfolding adventure, full of shadows and helpers, mirrors and doorways, dragons and wolves, Crone wisdom and childlike wonder. And the ending? Well, that is always up to us.

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✨ Reflective Questions

  • Which “villain” or shadow figure, Wolf, Witch, Dragon, feels most alive for you right now? What part of your own power might they be guarding?

  • When was the last time you found yourself standing at a symbolic window, mirror, or doorway? What did it show you about yourself?

  • In what ways are you seeking “happily ever after” outside yourself, and how might you turn inward to find it instead?

  • Where in your life could stillness or silence help you hear what the story of your own soul is trying to say?

  • As the hero has always been you, what chapter of your journey are you living through right now?

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📚 Recommended Reading

On the Feminine, the Crone, and Women’s Stories

  • Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, Jean Shinoda Bolen

  • The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power, Barbara G. Walker

On the Masculine & Feminine Archetypes

  • King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

  • The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock (a counterpart to Campbell’s Hero’s Journey)

  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

On Fairy Tales & Symbolism

  • The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, Bruno Bettelheim

  • Iron John: A Book About Men, Robert Bly (draws from Grimm’s tales)

  • Baba Yaga’s Assistant, Marika McCoola (a modern take on the old witch archetype)

On Myth, Archetypes & Shadow Work

  • Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, Robert A. Johnson

  • The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

On Dragons, Treasure, and Inner Power

  • Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity, Robert L. Moore

  • The Dragon’s Treasure: A Dreamer’s Guide to Inner Discovery, Tian Dayton

  • The Book of Dragons, Edith Nesbit (for a lighter, symbolic entry point)

On Silence, Listening & Stillness

  • The Sacred Embrace of Listening, Kay Lindahl

  • Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson (includes silence as a transformative practice)


© Cheryl O’Connor, 1995, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

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