Active Dreaming

Unmasking Dark Energies: Recognising and Protecting Against Deceptive Power

Introduction

Not all who appear charming, wise, or spiritual act with integrity. Just as there are people who radiate love, loyalty, and compassion, there are others who mask selfishness, jealousy, and manipulation beneath a false exterior. These individuals, energetically parasitic in nature, can have devastating effects on the lives they touch. Recognising them is the first step toward reclaiming personal power and preventing further harm.

Recognising Dark Energies

Deceptive energies often come disguised. They wear masks of charisma, spiritual insight, or generosity. They may seem attractive, popular, or even enlightened. Yet behind the façade lies a pattern of lies, cheating, emotional manipulation, and exploitation. Their tactics include:

  • Using sex disguised as love to drain energy and exert control.
  • Isolating victims from friends and family, much like narcissistic abusers.
  • Running emotionally hot and cold – one moment affectionate, the next distant or cruel.
  • Exploiting projects or causes “for humanity” as a cover for personal gain.

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, they cloak their true nature beneath charm and apparent kindness, only to exploit those who let down their guard. Others experience this energy as being caught in a spider’s web, where every struggle only strengthens the predator’s grip until the victim is drained of vitality.

These behaviours align with what psychologists describe as manipulative and narcissistic abuse patterns¹. Gaslighting – a deliberate attempt to confuse and destabilise another’s perception of reality – is also common, leaving victims doubting their own memories, intuition, and sanity².

The Spell Effect

Many describe their entanglement with such individuals as being under a spell, a magnetic pull that defies logic. This effect has been compared to “psychic vampirism,” where one feeds off another’s energy³. The victim may notice synchronicities, telepathic impressions, or dream visitations, further confusing the mind and heart. In extreme cases, this energetic exchange resembles possession, leaving victims behaving in uncharacteristic or destructive ways.

Energetically, these dynamics can be understood as “cording”- where psychic hooks are formed through desire, fear, depression, or trauma. Such cords can be consciously cut through ritual, meditation, or sound practices, but often require significant inner work and external support.

Consequences

The aftermath of such relationships can be devastating:

  • Emotional exhaustion, confusion, and despair.
  • Disrupted friendships or family ties.
  • Prolonged grief and “dark night of the soul” experiences⁴.
  • Physical or energetic symptoms such as lethargy, depression, or suicidal ideation.
  • Trauma stored in the body, manifesting as chronic pain, digestive issues, or immune dysfunction⁵.

For many, this period marks a breaking point that requires deep courage, inner work, and sometimes spiritual intervention to overcome. Survivors often describe the experience as “reality altering,” with long-term impacts on self-esteem and trust.

Psychological and Spiritual Dynamics

From a psychological standpoint, these relationships often involve trauma bonding, where cycles of abuse are interspersed with intermittent affection, creating a powerful chemical dependency in the brain. Victims become addicted to the highs and lows, confusing pain with passion and mistaking control for intimacy².

Spiritually, dark energies operate from a state disconnected from higher vibrational sources. Like the “Dementors” in Harry Potter, they survive by draining joy and light from others. Cross-cultural traditions also speak of such forces – beings that feed on fear, suffering, desire, or life force. Dion Fortune’s early writings on psychic self-defense highlight how such entities exploit weaknesses in the aura or energetic field⁶.

Breaking Free and Protection

Escaping the web of dark energies requires both practical and spiritual strategies:

  • Boundaries: Do not allow them into your home, especially your bedroom.
  • Cleansing: Smudge with sage, burn incense, rearrange living spaces, and discard or cleanse any gifts.
  • Salt baths and sunlight: Equal parts salt and bicarbonate baths followed by sun exposure for at least 20 minutes helps cleanse and restore energetic balance.
  • Cord-cutting rituals: Visualisations of severing unhealthy energetic ties can restore autonomy.
  • Sound and movement: Drumming, chanting, or shaking the body can break stagnant energy.
  • Avoid alcohol/drugs: These weaken the energetic field, making one more vulnerable.
  • Ceremony and Support: For some, traditional Indigenous ceremonies or other spiritual practices provide powerful release⁷.
  • Therapeutic support: Trauma-informed counselling, bodywork, or somatic therapies help integrate the psychological aftermath⁵.

Family and friends may notice red flags before the individual does. Listening to trusted voices can help break through the fog of manipulation. Supporting someone entangled in such dynamics requires patience, compassion, and non-judgement, pressuring them often pushes them deeper into the web.

Transformation and Gifts of Survival

Though shattering, these encounters often become profound initiations. Survivors report:

  • Heightened discernment, able to “spot” manipulative energy quickly.
  • Greater empathy for others caught in abusive dynamics.
  • A deeper connection to spiritual guidance and inner strength.
  • A renewed commitment to healthy relationships based on respect, honesty, and integrity.

This is the paradox: dark energies break us open, but in doing so they can also illuminate hidden wounds, pushing us toward healing and awakening. Once you have faced and recognised them, you carry the strength and discernment to never be deceived in the same way again. Awareness becomes protection, and protection becomes freedom.

References

  1. Brown, B. (2016). Disarming the narcissist: Surviving and thriving with the self-absorbed (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.
  2. Forward, S. (1997). Emotional blackmail. HarperCollins.
  3. Masters, J. (2018). Energy vampires: How to deal with emotional vampires and energy drainers. CreateSpace Independent Publishing.
  4. May, G. G. (2004). The dark night of the soul: A psychiatrist explores the connection between darkness and spiritual growth. HarperOne.
  5. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
  6. Fortune, D. (2001). Psychic self-defense. Weiser Books. (Original work published 1930).
  7. Atkinson, J. (2002). Trauma trails: Recreating song lines. Spinifex Press.

Nocturnal Communion:

When the Dream Lover Comes Bearing Fire

“Dreamtime lover comes to me,
helping me to clearly see
all I truly need to know—
your love for me you always show.

Guiding me to do what’s right,
giving me strength and insight.
Physically separate but living as One,
teaching me what needs to be done.

Knowing our love only grows and can never end,
as you assist me gradually to my Self mend.”

Have you ever woken with your body humming, breath quickened, heart strangely full? A dream so vivid, it left you aching—or glowing—with something you couldn’t quite name?

So many whisper it quietly:
“I had the most intense dream last night… but I can’t tell you. It’s too much.”

But I say, tell me everything. Because these dreams? They are sacred. They’re not just about sex. They are about energy. Integration. Memory. Reclamation.

We give this energy so many names: sexual energy, creative energy, Kundalini, God, Goddess, Great Spirit, Divine Union, Reiki, Seichim, Universal Life Force. But they are all rivers feeding the same source – the wild current of life itself. And its most ecstatic, alchemical expression? Orgasm. There’s a reason we cry out “Oh God” in those moments of deep pleasure. It’s not blasphemy. It’s a soul-deep remembering.

In dreams, anything becomes possible. We may find ourselves in the arms of a stranger, a past lover, someone we’ve never touched in waking life, but who feels as familiar as our own breath. Sometimes we merge with spirit beings, ancestors, archetypes. The forms may be surreal, symbolic, or shapeshifting, because dream lovers aren’t always literal, they’re invitations.

Invitations to reunite with soul threads. To embody the Lover, the Serpent, the Priestess, the Healer. To meet ourselves in forms we’ve long silenced or disowned. Often, it’s not about the person at all, but what they represent. Power. Passion. Tenderness. Permission. The dream body remembers what the waking mind forgets.

And let’s name the deeper truth now: soul-level communion is real. These dreams don’t always stay contained in the psyche. Sometimes, they’re shared experiences. If you’re thinking of someone with strong emotion, longing, desire, even grief, that thought becomes energy. It moves. It reaches. And if the other is attuned to you, they may feel it. Not as a conscious thought, but as a subtle frequency. A stirring in the night. A dream they can’t quite shake.

This is the intelligence of the soul field. Where time and space dissolve. Where lovers remember each other through the veil.

These dreams often arrive during times of emotional or energetic opening. When we’re grieving, creatively blocked, repressing desire, or navigating a threshold, these dreams come as messengers. They bring healing. They activate dormant parts of the body. They offer closure, clarity, confirmation. They reignite our connection to joy, to power, to the sacred yes of aliveness.

Even dream-orgasms, yes, they’re real, can be profoundly healing. Especially if touch, pleasure, or intimacy has been absent in waking life. And yet so many carry shame. They wake from these dreams wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” Especially if the imagery was strange, forbidden, or “inappropriate.” But erotic dreams don’t come to shame us, they come to liberate us.

We’ve all dreamt of partners we wouldn’t choose in the light of day, same-sex lovers, celebrities, even people from our past we’d rather forget. But dreams are symbolic. They’re the soul’s poetry. They speak in images, sensations, and metaphor. And they ask us not to judge, but to listen.

What part of me does this represent?
What wants to be felt, healed, or reintegrated?
What am I being invited to remember?

Erotic dreams are not just about sex. They’re about wholeness. They’re about power reclaimed. They’re about love, sometimes for another, often for the self. And sometimes, they are simply about joy. And that, too, is sacred. So next time your dream lover comes bearing fire, welcome them. Feel what wants to be felt. Honour what wants to be healed. And if you wake with tears, a sigh, or a sweet ache that lingers into the day, know this:

It wasn’t just a dream.
It was a remembering.

📚 Further Reading & Exploration

  1. Robert Moss – Conscious Dreaming
    On dream travel, soul connection, and shared dreaming experiences.
  2. Barbara Brennan – Hands of Light
    A classic text on energy fields, cords, and how emotion/thought affects others.
  3. Anodea Judith – Wheels of Life
    A deep dive into chakras, creative/sexual energy, and inner integration.
  4. Toko-pa Turner – Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home
    On the sacred art of dreamwork and returning to the soul’s truth.
  5. Clarissa Pinkola Estés – Women Who Run With the Wolves
    Archetypal stories that explore feminine psyche, longing, and reclamation.
  6. Mantak Chia – The Multi-Orgasmic Man/Woman
    Taoist teachings on sexual energy as sacred and transformative force.
  7. Rupert Sheldrake – Morphic Resonance
    A scientific view of non-local connection and shared fields of experience.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2014 & 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪🌿 Explore more of my writing, creations, and soul-guided offerings at:

cheoco.net

📖 Read my book, The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation
Download here

💫 Connect with me on Facebook:
facebook.com/cheococreates

🌕 Ever had a dream that left your soul stirred and your body buzzing?
I’d love to hear. Drop a note in the comments or share this with someone who dreams in symbols too.

Breathe, Feel, Heal: Remembering the Wisdom Within

“Dreamtime visions speak to me of the truth within,

Wisdom, Healing & Knowledge of Self to me they bring,

Helping me to know the true essence of my Soul,

enabling me to consciously experience

I AM …. One with the Whole.”

There is a life force running through all things. Some call it God, Spirit, Nature, Love, or Universal Energy. The name is less important than the feeling it brings and the healing it makes possible. When we remember this force, we begin to remember who we truly are.

For me, this energy first introduced itself through Reiki and later deepened with Seichim—two distinct yet connected frequencies of the same sacred current. Reiki is often associated with the Japanese lineage, while Seichim flows from Ancient Egypt, through the teachings of Sekhem and the energy of the fierce and compassionate goddesses Sekhmet and Kwan Yin.

Where Reiki is the wave flowing in, Seichim is the wave flowing out. Together, they form a complete cycle of energetic restoration.

A Multi-Layered Being

This healing work finds deep resonance with the Anthroposophical perspective of Rudolf Steiner, which sees the human being as a fourfold being:

  • Physical Body: The visible body, a map of our accumulated experiences and emotions.
  • Etheric Body (Energy Body): The life or breath body, responsible for vitality, healing, and rhythm. It thrives on sleep, air, water, nutrition, and nature.
  • Astral Body: The seat of memory and emotion. When the etheric is weakened, the astral can push through into the physical and cause dis-ease.
  • Core Self or “I AM”: The indwelling essence of who we truly are – divine, wise, and whole. This is not a “higher” self-perched on some pedestal, but the deepest truth of our being, right here, embodied. The notion of a “higher” self can often reinforce hierarchical thinking rooted in outdated paradigms. In truth, we are not reaching upward, we are remembering inward.

Further expanded by Barbara Brennan, this system includes seven energetic layers beyond the physical—each interpenetrating the other:

  1. Physical Body
  2. Etheric Body
  3. Emotional Body
  4. Mental Body
  5. Astral Body
  6. Etheric Template
  7. Celestial Body
  8. Ketheric Template

Each is linked to a chakra and vibrates at a unique frequency. Some healers also experience more than the standard seven chakras.

Blockages, Breath and the Map of the Body

In Reiki, Seichim, and Body-Based Counselling alike, imbalance and illness are seen to originate from energetic blockages—areas where life force energy cannot flow due to past trauma, grief, fear, suppressed emotions, or limiting beliefs. These imprints are stored in the subtle layers surrounding and entering the body.

When breath and awareness are consciously brought into these wounded areas, subconscious memories surface, and with them, release. In this process comes healing, insight, and a return to flow.

Brennan observed, “Illness is a result of imbalance, and imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are.” Others such as Baginski and Sharamon see symptoms as messages needing to be heard, accepted, and integrated before true healing can occur.

While approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) may assist some individuals in reframing thoughts and behaviours, they often stay in the mental realm. Deep transformation, however, often requires feeling, not just thinking. Jamie Sams says to feel is to heal. When emotion is acknowledged and expressed, the energy that has been held or suppressed is free to move again.

The Healing Power of Breath

When our bodies become stressed from pressure or anxiety, the adrenal glands release adrenaline. This hormone increases our heart rate to prepare for a fight-or-flight response. While this is a natural survival mechanism, it has side effects—particularly on the breath.

When we are anxious, our breathing becomes shallow. This reduces oxygen intake and can lead to fatigue, panic attacks, emotional distress, headaches, muscle tension, and even exacerbate conditions like PTSD.

Breath is life. It delivers oxygen to our cells and removes carbon dioxide, a key toxin. You can live without food or water for a time—but without oxygen, only minutes. Breath is also how we move life force energy. When pain is present, intentional breath can ease it. As infants and children, we naturally breathed into our bellies. But over time, many of us begin to breathe only into the upper chest, especially under stress.

Chest breathing results in irregular, rapid breaths. This reduces oxygen flow and limits the body’s ability to exhale toxins. The result? Fatigue, anxiety, and disconnection. The good news is: this pattern can be unlearned.

The Benefits of Cyclic Deep Breathing

  • Stimulates the lymphatic system, aiding detox and healing.
  • Strengthens immunity by supporting the body’s self-healing capacity.
  • Balances brain hemispheres and calms the nervous system.
  • Reduces anxiety and helps regulate emotional response.
  • Can be practiced anywhere, at any time, with no tools required.

A Gentle Word on Limitations

If you have asthma or another respiratory condition, cyclic breathing may not be appropriate. Please seek medical advice before practicing.

What Is Cyclic Breathing?

Cyclic breathing is a technique to calm the body and mind during times of stress, anxiety, or fear. One simple and accessible method is based on the Ho‘oponopono rhythm:

  1. Sit comfortably, feet on the ground. Place your hands on your lap or your belly.
  2. Notice your breath, just as it is.
  3. Then begin to breathe in for a count of seven.
  4. Hold for a count of seven.
  5. Exhale for a count of seven.
  6. Hold again for seven.

This is one round. Repeat it seven times.

You may also modify the count to suit your capacity. For example:

  • Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 3, hold for 3.
  • Or: Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 5, hold for 5.

Breathe slowly and gently, always staying within your comfort zone.

With consistent practice, abdominal breathing becomes natural again. You’ll notice your belly rising and falling as you breathe—just as it did when you were a child.

To support this, try practicing three times a day, or as needed. Repetition is key. Studies suggest it takes around 21 to 30 days to form a new habit. But the benefit is lasting: your body begins to remember the way home.

Enter, Exit, Behold: The Body Speaks

Body-Based Counselling draws on these same principles, using methods that access subconscious information directly through the body. Artistic therapies such as:

  • Clay work
  • Watercolour painting
  • Movement and gesture
  • Colour exploration

These tools bypass the analytical mind. Through simple yet profound methods like Enter, Exit, Behold, clients can step into a bodily sensation or pain, observe what wisdom it carries, and exit with the insight and resource needed for integration, without being overwhelmed or re-traumatised by the original emotion.

This process allows even unspoken or inexpressible emotions to be seen, shaped, and shifted. Pain takes form in clay. Breath is freed through movement. Colour returns to drawings that once looked lifeless. The intangible becomes tangible. Healing begins.

Real Lives, Real Healing

Here are a few examples that reflect the potency of these approaches:

  • A woman preparing for breast surgery received six sessions while also working with a naturopath. Just before the operation, scans revealed that the lumps had vanished.
  • A pregnant woman, leaking fluid after a medical procedure, came to me in a vision asking for help. I sent healing and saw the hole in the sac close. Two weeks later, she had stabilised.
  • A newborn boy with lung issues was hospitalised. After a brief hands-on healing session, he was released the next day. He later grew into a healthy twelve-year-old.
  • I lived with knee pain for seventeen years after a traumatic accident. Following my Reiki and Seichim attunement, I released grief I didn’t even know I was carrying. The pain disappeared.

The Counsellor’s Role

Just like with energy healing, true transformation in counselling comes when the client is ready and willing. The counsellor or practitioner simply creates a safe and sacred space, offers guidance, and teaches tools. But the work, the choice, the healing, comes from within.

Permission is essential. Unless a person asks, the energy cannot flow to them. Healing respects free will. When someone is ready and willing to receive, the field opens. Our role is to hold the space — not to push or fix, but to witness and support.

We do not fix. We empower. We do not impose. We invite.

Signs of Change

Change reveals itself in many ways: a client enters hunched, disconnected, anxious. After the session, they stand taller, breathe deeper, feel lighter. Art becomes more vibrant. Clay forms soften. Colour returns to the canvas. Their posture changes. So does their presence.

That is healing. That is remembering.

“The energy knows the way. All it needs is your yes.”

Video, Phone and Email Consultations Available
www.cheoco.wordpress.com
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au
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© Cheryl O’Connor 2025

Images sourced from the internet – sources unknown.

Returning to My Passion After a Long Hiatus: A New Chapter

After seven years away, I’m so pleased to be returning to Dreamwork — a practice that has always held a special place in my heart and soul. While life called me in other directions for a time, the world of dreams, symbolism, and inner landscapes remained a constant, reassuring presence that helped me navigate those years.

During this time, I obtained my Social Work degree, cared for a loved one, and reconnected with my previous career in the legal world. Each of these experiences has continued to shape me, broadened my understanding of human experience, and further deepened my appreciation for the quiet, profound wisdom our dreams offer.

Dreamwork has long been a source of insight, healing, and creative exploration for me and those I’ve worked with. It’s a space where our unconscious speaks in rich images, emotions, and metaphor — and where we can gently unravel meaning, find clarity, and reconnect with parts of ourselves we may have forgotten.

Returning to this practice and sharing dream wisdom feels like coming home. With new skills, fresh perspectives, and a deepened sense of empathy, I am excited to be offering Dreamwork sessions once again, both for those new to exploring their dreams and for those looking to pick up where they may have left off. I am once again available to work with individuals through online consultations via email, phone or Microsoft Teams. Whether you’re looking to explore recurring dreams, uncover deeper meanings, or simply gain clarity from your inner landscape, I would be honoured to assist you in your transformative process.

Thank you for your support, your encouragement, and your presence. I look forward to seeing what this next chapter of Dreamwork holds for all of us.

#Dreamwork #SocialWork #ProfessionalGrowth #Healing #PersonalDevelopment #DreamExploration

THE WISDOM HIDDEN IN FAIRY TALES

More Than Bedtime Stories

Most people think of fairy tales as sweet bedtime stories for children, pleasant little fables to pass the time before sleep. But when we look beneath the surface, their layers of meaning open like a map, guiding us through the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.

The Forest and the Journey

In almost every classic tale, the storyline begins the same way: a young soul leaves “home”, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and ventures into the wider world. Along the way, they face trials and temptations: witches and wolves, dragons and goblins, wicked stepmothers and treacherous strangers. They may be imprisoned, lost in the forest, or lulled into a deep sleep.

The forest is one of the most enduring symbols in fairy tales. It is not simply scenery, but a living teacher. To enter the dark forest is to step into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar and the safe. It is here that old identities are stripped away, and we must learn to trust a deeper compass of soul. Every shadow and every clearing becomes a guide, showing us that what looks like confusion or danger is also the fertile ground of transformation. Rivers, storms, mountains, and caves serve the same role, thresholds that reshape us if we dare to enter.

Yet, just as often, help arrives, through animals, elemental beings, wise old helpers, or mysterious friends. And when they finally “return home,” they are not the same as when they left. For home is not a physical place at all, it is a return to one’s true self. The journey strips us bare, tests our faith, and teaches us who we really are.

It is important to remember these stories were never meant to be harmless diversions. Long before they were bound in books, fairy tales lived as oral traditions, told around firesides to transmit wisdom, warnings, and hope. They were teaching maps, guiding communities through danger, instinct, resilience, and transformation.

Villains, Helpers and Thresholds

And those so-called “villains”? I do not see them as villains at all. Patriarchy turned them into shadows, wolves, witches, dragons, fearsome figures to frighten us away from their power. But really, it is our own power they mirror back to us: instinct, intuition, raw life force, and the ability to transform. When we meet these figures within, we reclaim parts of ourselves long suppressed. The Witch becomes the Crone, carrying wisdom for thresholds and endings. The Wolf becomes a fierce protector of boundaries. And the Dragon? The Dragon is the guardian of our own inner treasure and power, waiting for us to grow strong enough to step forward and claim it.

Fairy tales also remind us of endings. Sometimes people leave our lives through choice, distance, or even death. As painful as this is, symbolically it may reflect a deeper truth: their energy is no longer aligned with where we are on our journey. In this way, every loss is also a threshold, one that asks us to meet more of ourselves, to grow into new awareness, and to walk forward carrying what was true in love.

Fairy tales remind us too that help often comes in overlooked forms. A talking bird, a humble servant, or a creature of the wild may hold the key to survival. The “simpleton,” mocked for being foolish, is often the one who succeeds where others fail, precisely because they trust what is small, quiet, or easily dismissed. These tales teach us that wisdom rarely arrives dressed in the power we expect. It slips in through the ordinary, reminding us that the sacred hides in plain sight.

Windows, Mirrors and Doorways

Windows, mirrors, and doorways are some of the ways life shows us these Selves. A window may let us see through to where another is truly coming from or reflect ourselves back depending on the angle of light. A mirror shows us our own reflection, sometimes sharply, sometimes kindly. And a doorway? That is the threshold another offers us into a new awareness. Often, whatever we see in another exists within us too, otherwise how could we see it? Some mirror to us where we are presently at and others where we have been at some point in time. Often, in any one interaction, all three roles are present at once. These are not accidents, they are guides.

The True Happily Ever After

Just like the characters in these tales, many of us spend years searching outside ourselves for happiness. We might long for “one true love” to sweep us away, believing they will complete us. And for a while, it might feel like they do. But no matter how romantic the promise, no person can be our everything, especially when we have yet to become that for ourselves.

This is where so many of us misunderstood the “happily ever after.” Disney did not exactly sell us a lie, rather, our culture mistranslated the deeper truth. Long before Disney, the tales themselves were pointing inward. The Prince and Princess were never really about someone else rescuing us. They are symbols of our own inner masculine and feminine. But growing up in a patriarchal system, we were taught to externalise everything: happiness, success, love, even salvation. No wonder so many felt or feel disillusioned when the promise did not hold.

When we look symbolically, the “kiss” that wakes the sleeping one is not about romance at all. It is about awakening, when our masculine energy of logic and clarity meets our feminine energy of intuition and creativity. In that inner union, something comes alive. Balance is restored. We no longer need someone else to complete us, though we may share life with another from a place of wholeness. This is the true happily ever after.

Every fairy tale also carries the rhythm of life itself, descent and return, death and rebirth, endings and beginnings. Sleeping Beauty is not just about a princess in slumber; it is about the necessity of rest and renewal before awakening to new life. Snow White’s glass coffin mirrors the suspended state we sometimes find ourselves in, when part of us has died but the rebirth has not yet arrived. To live consciously is to honour these cycles rather than resist them, recognising that every ending makes space for a new beginning.

The Hero Has Always Been Us

At the heart of it all, every fairy tale whispers the same truth: the hero has always been us. The dangers, helpers, and transformations we read about are mirrors of our own trials and triumphs. The quest is not about rescuing or being rescued, it is about remembering who we truly are. And in the end, to “return home” is to return to that true self, whole, awake, and fully alive.

When a child asks for a story, it may be the soul’s way of speaking, theirs, and yours. Children often choose the very tale that carries the medicine both need to hear. A bedtime request can be far more than whimsy; it can be a mirror of the family’s journey, a whisper of what the soul is trying to surface. In this way, our children become our teachers, reminding us of the truths we may have forgotten.

But we cannot hear these truths if our minds are always noisy. When we chatter constantly, whether in our heads or with our mouths, we block the whispers of Soul and nature wisdom. We need stillness. We need silence. As the saying goes: “When we speak, we only repeat what we know. When we listen, we may learn something new.”

For all of us, no matter our profession or path, this symbolic lens matters. We may find ourselves trapped in a “sleeping spell” of grief, stalked by a “wolf” of fear, or longing for the “helper” who reminds us of our strength and true nature. Fairy tales can be bridges, helping us name our inner landscapes in ways that ordinary language cannot.

The original tales of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen hold far more than quaint moral lessons. They speak to the courage, faith, and trust needed to walk through life’s dark forests and return with wisdom. And they remind us that when a child asks for a certain story, it may be speaking directly to your soul as much as theirs, holding a mirror to where you are on your own journey.

After all, the so-called “real world” is itself the greatest fairy tale of all, an unfolding adventure, full of shadows and helpers, mirrors and doorways, dragons and wolves, Crone wisdom and childlike wonder. And the ending? Well, that is always up to us.

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✨ Reflective Questions

  • Which “villain” or shadow figure, Wolf, Witch, Dragon, feels most alive for you right now? What part of your own power might they be guarding?

  • When was the last time you found yourself standing at a symbolic window, mirror, or doorway? What did it show you about yourself?

  • In what ways are you seeking “happily ever after” outside yourself, and how might you turn inward to find it instead?

  • Where in your life could stillness or silence help you hear what the story of your own soul is trying to say?

  • As the hero has always been you, what chapter of your journey are you living through right now?

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📚 Recommended Reading

On the Feminine, the Crone, and Women’s Stories

  • Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, Jean Shinoda Bolen

  • The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power, Barbara G. Walker

On the Masculine & Feminine Archetypes

  • King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

  • The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock (a counterpart to Campbell’s Hero’s Journey)

  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

On Fairy Tales & Symbolism

  • The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, Bruno Bettelheim

  • Iron John: A Book About Men, Robert Bly (draws from Grimm’s tales)

  • Baba Yaga’s Assistant, Marika McCoola (a modern take on the old witch archetype)

On Myth, Archetypes & Shadow Work

  • Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, Robert A. Johnson

  • The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

On Dragons, Treasure, and Inner Power

  • Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity, Robert L. Moore

  • The Dragon’s Treasure: A Dreamer’s Guide to Inner Discovery, Tian Dayton

  • The Book of Dragons, Edith Nesbit (for a lighter, symbolic entry point)

On Silence, Listening & Stillness

  • The Sacred Embrace of Listening, Kay Lindahl

  • Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson (includes silence as a transformative practice)

© Cheryl O’Connor, 1995, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
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