Not all who appear charming, wise, or spiritual act with integrity. Just as there are people who radiate love, loyalty, and compassion, there are others who mask selfishness, jealousy, and manipulation beneath a false exterior. These individuals, energetically parasitic in nature, can have devastating effects on the lives they touch. Recognising them is the first step toward reclaiming personal power and preventing further harm.
Recognising Dark Energies
Deceptive energies often come disguised. They wear masks of charisma, spiritual insight, or generosity. They may seem attractive, popular, or even enlightened. Yet behind the façade lies a pattern of lies, cheating, emotional manipulation, and exploitation. Their tactics include:
Using sex disguised as love to drain energy and exert control.
Isolating victims from friends and family, much like narcissistic abusers.
Running emotionally hot and cold – one moment affectionate, the next distant or cruel.
Exploiting projects or causes “for humanity” as a cover for personal gain.
Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, they cloak their true nature beneath charm and apparent kindness, only to exploit those who let down their guard. Others experience this energy as being caught in a spider’s web, where every struggle only strengthens the predator’s grip until the victim is drained of vitality.
These behaviours align with what psychologists describe as manipulative and narcissistic abuse patterns¹. Gaslighting – a deliberate attempt to confuse and destabilise another’s perception of reality – is also common, leaving victims doubting their own memories, intuition, and sanity².
The Spell Effect
Many describe their entanglement with such individuals as being under a spell, a magnetic pull that defies logic. This effect has been compared to “psychic vampirism,” where one feeds off another’s energy³. The victim may notice synchronicities, telepathic impressions, or dream visitations, further confusing the mind and heart. In extreme cases, this energetic exchange resembles possession, leaving victims behaving in uncharacteristic or destructive ways.
Energetically, these dynamics can be understood as “cording”- where psychic hooks are formed through desire, fear, depression, or trauma. Such cords can be consciously cut through ritual, meditation, or sound practices, but often require significant inner work and external support.
Consequences
The aftermath of such relationships can be devastating:
Emotional exhaustion, confusion, and despair.
Disrupted friendships or family ties.
Prolonged grief and “dark night of the soul” experiences⁴.
Physical or energetic symptoms such as lethargy, depression, or suicidal ideation.
Trauma stored in the body, manifesting as chronic pain, digestive issues, or immune dysfunction⁵.
For many, this period marks a breaking point that requires deep courage, inner work, and sometimes spiritual intervention to overcome. Survivors often describe the experience as “reality altering,” with long-term impacts on self-esteem and trust.
Psychological and Spiritual Dynamics
From a psychological standpoint, these relationships often involve trauma bonding, where cycles of abuse are interspersed with intermittent affection, creating a powerful chemical dependency in the brain. Victims become addicted to the highs and lows, confusing pain with passion and mistaking control for intimacy².
Spiritually, dark energies operate from a state disconnected from higher vibrational sources. Like the “Dementors” in Harry Potter, they survive by draining joy and light from others. Cross-cultural traditions also speak of such forces – beings that feed on fear, suffering, desire, or life force. Dion Fortune’s early writings on psychic self-defense highlight how such entities exploit weaknesses in the aura or energetic field⁶.
Breaking Free and Protection
Escaping the web of dark energies requires both practical and spiritual strategies:
Boundaries: Do not allow them into your home, especially your bedroom.
Cleansing: Smudge with sage, burn incense, rearrange living spaces, and discard or cleanse any gifts.
Salt baths and sunlight: Equal parts salt and bicarbonate baths followed by sun exposure for at least 20 minutes helps cleanse and restore energetic balance.
Cord-cutting rituals: Visualisations of severing unhealthy energetic ties can restore autonomy.
Sound and movement: Drumming, chanting, or shaking the body can break stagnant energy.
Avoid alcohol/drugs: These weaken the energetic field, making one more vulnerable.
Ceremony and Support: For some, traditional Indigenous ceremonies or other spiritual practices provide powerful release⁷.
Therapeutic support: Trauma-informed counselling, bodywork, or somatic therapies help integrate the psychological aftermath⁵.
Family and friends may notice red flags before the individual does. Listening to trusted voices can help break through the fog of manipulation. Supporting someone entangled in such dynamics requires patience, compassion, and non-judgement, pressuring them often pushes them deeper into the web.
Transformation and Gifts of Survival
Though shattering, these encounters often become profound initiations. Survivors report:
Heightened discernment, able to “spot” manipulative energy quickly.
Greater empathy for others caught in abusive dynamics.
A deeper connection to spiritual guidance and inner strength.
A renewed commitment to healthy relationships based on respect, honesty, and integrity.
This is the paradox: dark energies break us open, but in doing so they can also illuminate hidden wounds, pushing us toward healing and awakening. Once you have faced and recognised them, you carry the strength and discernment to never be deceived in the same way again. Awareness becomes protection, and protection becomes freedom.
References
Brown, B. (2016). Disarming the narcissist: Surviving and thriving with the self-absorbed (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.
Forward, S. (1997). Emotional blackmail. HarperCollins.
Masters, J. (2018). Energy vampires: How to deal with emotional vampires and energy drainers. CreateSpace Independent Publishing.
May, G. G. (2004). The dark night of the soul: A psychiatrist explores the connection between darkness and spiritual growth. HarperOne.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
Fortune, D. (2001). Psychic self-defense. Weiser Books. (Original work published 1930).
Atkinson, J. (2002). Trauma trails: Recreating song lines. Spinifex Press.
The Origins, History, and Benefits of Reiki and Seichim
Energy healing has been practiced across cultures for centuries, weaving spiritual, physical, and emotional wellbeing into a holistic tapestry of care. Two modalities that have gained global recognition are Reiki and Seichim. Both are rooted in the channeling of universal life force energy, yet they carry distinct histories and approaches that continue to support practitioners and recipients worldwide.
The Origins of Reiki
Reiki, meaning “universal life energy” in Japanese, was founded by Mikao Usui in the early 20th century. Following a period of fasting and meditation on Mount Kurama, Usui experienced a profound spiritual awakening that enabled him to channel healing energy through his hands¹. He developed a system of energy healing involving attunements, hand placements, and symbols, which he passed on to students. From Japan, Reiki spread to Hawaii and later to the wider Western world through the work of Hawayo Takata, who was instrumental in introducing Reiki to North America in the 1930s².
The Origins of Seichim
Seichim (also spelled Sekhem or Seichem) is often described as the “mother energy” of Reiki, with roots that are said to extend back to ancient Egypt³. Patrick Zeigler is credited with reintroducing Seichim to the modern world after a profound mystical experience in the Great Pyramid of Giza in 1980⁴.
Seichim carries both fierce and compassionate aspects. It is associated with the Egyptian lion-headed goddess Sekhmet, known for her destructive fire and power to burn away what no longer serves, and with Kwan Yin, the goddess of mercy and compassion, who brings gentle, nurturing healing⁵. Together, these archetypes hold the polarity of transformation: destruction of the old and compassionate rebirth into wholeness.
My Journey with Reiki and Seichim
For me, these modalities have not only been practices but life-changing pathways of healing. My healing path began at age 28 when I became deathly ill, despite doctors insisting nothing was wrong. In my 30s, I began attunements in Reiki and Seichim. Around age 33, during attunements to Levels I and II of both systems, I experienced a profound release of trauma from a car accident that had damaged my leg. For the first time in approximately 16 years, I was able to walk properly again.
In 1999, I became a Reiki Master, and in 2000, a Seichim Master. The experience of this deep healing, and the unfolding that followed, is shared in my book The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation (available here).
The History and Spread
Reiki gained official recognition in Japan, particularly during times of war, when it was used to support soldiers’ recovery⁶. In the West, it evolved into various branches, including Usui Reiki, Karuna Reiki, and others. Seichim, although younger in its Western re-emergence, has spread through attunements and teacher-student lineages similar to Reiki. Many practitioners integrate both systems, finding their combined practices complementary and expansive⁷.
Benefits of Reiki and Seichim
Reiki and Seichim work together like two waves of energy. Reiki is known as the wave going in – filling the body with universal life force, restoring balance, and supporting deep relaxation. Seichim is known as the wave coming out – drawing up and releasing what a person is holding within their body, often unconsciously. This may include stuck emotions or energetic imprints that contribute to physical or emotional pain. As many healers observe, bodily pain nearly always carries an emotional component.
Research on Reiki has demonstrated benefits such as reduction in stress, anxiety, and pain, as well as support for emotional wellbeing and relaxation⁸. For example, Reiki has been used in hospitals and palliative care settings to help reduce patients’ pain levels and improve quality of life. Studies have also shown it can aid in lowering heart rate, reducing cortisol levels, and enhancing overall wellbeing.
Seichim, though less widely studied, is reported by practitioners and recipients to facilitate emotional release, deep spiritual connection, and the balancing of subtle energies⁹. Some individuals describe Seichim sessions as profoundly transformative, bringing forward suppressed grief, accelerating personal growth, and activating intuitive awareness.
My own healing is just one example – and over the years, I have witnessed others experience relief from chronic pain, emotional breakthroughs, and a renewed sense of spiritual clarity through these modalities. Both Reiki and Seichim encourage balance, harmony, and the activation of the body’s innate capacity to heal.
Distance Healing
A unique aspect of both Reiki and Seichim is that they are not limited by physical proximity. Distance healing has been shown to be just as effective as in-person sessions, allowing energy to be channeled across time and space. Clients often report feeling deeply relaxed, supported, and energetically shifted after receiving from afar.
At present, I am offering distance healing sessions only. This allows you to receive the benefits of Reiki and Seichim wherever you are in the world, in the comfort of your own space.
Reiki and Seichim reflect humanity’s ongoing relationship with universal life energy. Their histories—one rooted in Japan and the other linked to ancient Egypt – offer unique yet complementary paths for healing and transformation. Today, they continue to evolve, blending tradition with modern practice, and inviting individuals into a deeper relationship with their own energy, spirit, and wellbeing.
About the Author
Cheryl O’Connor (Cheoco) is a Reiki Master (since 1999) and Seichim Master (since 2000), writer, and dreamwork practitioner based in Queensland, Australia. Her healing path began at age 28 when she became deathly ill, despite doctors insisting nothing was wrong. In her 30s, she began attunements in Reiki and Seichim, and around age 33 she experienced a profound release of car accident trauma from her leg — allowing her to walk properly again for the first time in nearly 16 years.
Cheryl shares this transformation in her book The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation (available here). Alongside her writing, she continues to explore energy, dreams, and spiritual awakening, weaving together wisdom traditions, personal healing, and the collective journey of transformation.
References
Hiroshi, D. (1997). The Reiki Handbook: Traditional Usui Reiki methods. Tokyo: Reiki Institute.
Rand, W. L. (2011). Reiki: The healing touch. Southfield, MI: Vision Publications.
Barnett, S., & Chambers, T. (1996). Healing energy: Unlocking the secrets of Reiki and Seichim. London: Aquarian Press.
Zeigler, P. (1984). Seichim: The doorway to ancient healing wisdom. Giza: Pyramid Press.
Petter, F. A. (1999). Reiki Fire: New information about the origins of the Reiki power. Twin Lakes, WI: Lotus Press.
Becker, C. (2004). Reiki in clinical practice: A new paradigm in patient care. Complementary Therapies in Nursing & Midwifery, 10(3), 142–148.
Baldwin, A. L., Wagers, C., & Schwartz, G. E. (2008). Reiki improves heart rate homeostasis in laboratory rats. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 14(4), 417–422.
Honervogt, T. (2002). Seichim and Reiki: Healing energy for the new millennium. London: Thorsons.
In the Summer of 2020 whilst on holiday with a friend I experienced a precognitive warning dream which began in silence, deep beneath the water. From the ocean floor, a Native Man stood with his arm outstretched, palm open, commanding: Stop. Do not proceed.
Before him glided two enormous, translucent-white mammals. They looked a little like dugongs, but I knew they were not. Their size, their presence, their essence, something otherworldly surrounded them. They had travelled a long distance to reach this place, and yet here was the warning: if they continued forward, destruction, perhaps even death awaited.
I felt the weight of the moment. I felt their sadness. And silently, reluctantly, the great white beings turned and swam back into the depths. The message struck me as abruptly as the scene itself: retreat, do not proceed.
Then the dream shifted.
I stood near a cottage, fittingly, at the time I was staying in a cottage myself. Two paths opened before me. From one direction approached my long-time friend of fifteen years. But he was drunk, rude, abusive, and cruel in a way I had never seen. At his side stood a young woman, and I recognised her: a reflection of myself in earlier years, when I still tolerated disrespect and abuse and made excuses for it.
In the dream, he walked off with her down one path. And I, alone, walked in the other direction.
When I woke, I knew exactly what it meant. Whatever had bound us was finished. He had taken with him the old part of myself that accepted mistreatment. I had chosen, again, to walk away from that pattern — and this time, there was no going back.
In waking life, the dream unfolded in sharp relief. My dear friend suddenly turned on me with shocking cruelty. His words cut, his behaviour burned, and grief landed hard.
Yet I saw it clearly: he had become the shape-shifting face of every man who had ever been abusive in my life. And for the first time, I did not excuse it, soften it, or offer another chance. The dream’s wisdom rang in me: stop, retreat, walk away.
When I told him my role in his life was complete, his fury erupted — yelling and screaming at me. It was horrible, and it knocked me around for weeks. Yet in vision, I saw a greater truth: a tree-trunk-sized umbilical cord connecting us was severed in a single swift stroke by a mighty sword.
The last test was complete.
Curious about the dream creatures, I searched. Though I knew they weren’t dugongs, I wondered if some rare species existed. Nothing appeared. Then, one morning while scrolling, there it was: the exact being from my dream. A Beluga Whale.
Large, white, gentle, with the same eyes and mouth. Exactly as I had seen, though in my dream, they were much larger.
Research told me Belugas are deeply family-oriented, appearing often in Russian folklore. They are called the canaries of the sea for their wide range of vocal sounds, yet when they travel in pods, they often move in silence to avoid predators. And when confronted with danger, they retreat rather than fight.
The parallels could not have been clearer.
The Beluga Dream reinforced what my soul already knew: silence, retreat, and refusal to engage was not weakness, it was wisdom. It was the way through. Dreams speak in symbols, but their truths run parallel to waking life. They offer us direction if we are willing to listen. Many say dreams are nonsense, but to me they are sacred gifts of guidance.
If a visitor comes to your door bearing a gift and you never open the door, how many times will they try to return? And how will you receive what was meant for you, if you never open it? It is the same with dreams.
My Beluga Dream was one such gift, a dream that stopped me in my tracks, tested my resolve, and handed me the courage to cut the final cord.
Dishonesty doesn’t just withhold information; it disrupts our ability to act from conscious awareness. It undermines our sovereignty. When we’re denied truth, we’re left making decisions based on partial realities, often manipulated by someone else’s narrative. It’s like walking through a fog someone else created.
Truth may sting, but dishonesty chains. One liberates; the other entangles. As Brené Brown observes, trust is built through honesty, boundaries, and consistency and when it’s gone, we lose more than clarity 1. We lose our sense of stability and self-trust.1
And the soul always knows.
Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone you loved and trusted, only to feel like you were staring into the face of a stranger? It’s a haunting kind of grief. When someone you’ve spent time (potentially years) loving, supporting, and feeling safe with suddenly turns, without warning or explanation, into someone unrecognisable, the rupture can shake you to your core.
When Trust Shatters
In the aftermath, impossible questions surface.
Did I unknowingly trigger a wound too deep to be healed? Did I get too close and activate a protective response? Were they ever truly themselves, or was it always a mask that finally slipped? Perhaps most painfully: What does this say about me?
As Bessel van der Kolk explains, when the relational foundation we’ve depended on crumbles, our nervous system reacts as though we’re under threat. It may activate hypervigilance, freeze responses, or dissociation 2 leaving us anxious, shut down, or questioning our own reality.
Without clear communication, we’re left with guesswork. The mind spins, “maybe it was this, maybe it was that”, but deep down, we know. The body knows. The intuition knows and ultimately all we can truly trust is our intuition, even when the mind wants or hopes to believe otherwise.
Coping or Reclaiming
So what do we do when trust breaks?
Some harden. They vow never to trust again. Others build walls so high no one can climb them, not even themselves. Many turn to coping strategies, overthinking, self-silencing, numbing, or doubting their worth. Gabor Maté reminds us that these patterns, while protective, often come at a cost to our emotional and physical wellbeing. 3
When we suppress pain to maintain connection, we betray ourselves.
And yet, betrayal can serve as a teacher. Terry Real suggests that relational pain often becomes a gateway to transformation. While one person learns the cost of disconnection, the other may reclaim their voice, their clarity, their truth. 4
When deception enters the field, both souls receive lessons.
For the one who hides truth, the lesson is clear: dishonesty costs more than it gains (usually the relationship). What once seemed like a clever avoidance ends up breaking the very thing they hoped to protect, connection, respect, intimacy and trust.
For the one on the receiving end of the lie or betrayal, the gift is sovereignty. To see clearly. To feel the fracture and still remain standing. To declare silently a firm boundary of truth or nothing. One learns the cost of deceit. The other embodies the power of truth.
The pain of betrayal can sharpen our ability to notice red flags sooner or sense when something doesn’t add up. Harriet Lerner encourages us to reclaim our voice after rupture, not through confrontation alone, but by choosing clarity, boundaries, and grounded presence. 5 Still, trust, once broken, rarely returns to its original form.
The Sacred Fracture
To me, trust is like a porcelain plate, fragile, beautiful, and meaningful. But once smashed, it never feels the same, no matter how carefully you piece it back together. And yet, there’s something sacred in the fracture. Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold, reminds us that the cracks are part of our story. They don’t need to be hidden. They can shine. Because we are not broken. We are remade. Wiser. Clearer. And more sovereign than ever before.
Reflection invitation: Where in your life are you choosing sovereignty over illusion? And can you trust yourself enough to follow through?
References
1. Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Random House.
2. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
3. Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no: Exploring the stress-disease connection. Vintage Canada.
4. Real, T. (2022). Us: Getting past you and me to build a more loving relationship. Cornerstone.
5. Lerner, H. (2001). The dance of connection: How to talk to someone when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed, or desperate. HarperCollins.
“Dreamtime lover comes to me, helping me to clearly see all I truly need to know— your love for me you always show.
Guiding me to do what’s right, giving me strength and insight. Physically separate but living as One, teaching me what needs to be done.
Knowing our love only grows and can never end, as you assist me gradually to my Self mend.”
Have you ever woken with your body humming, breath quickened, heart strangely full? A dream so vivid, it left you aching—or glowing—with something you couldn’t quite name?
So many whisper it quietly: “I had the most intense dream last night… but I can’t tell you. It’s too much.”
But I say, tell me everything. Because these dreams? They are sacred. They’re not just about sex. They are about energy. Integration. Memory. Reclamation.
We give this energy so many names: sexual energy, creative energy, Kundalini, God, Goddess, Great Spirit, Divine Union, Reiki, Seichim, Universal Life Force. But they are all rivers feeding the same source – the wild current of life itself. And its most ecstatic, alchemical expression? Orgasm. There’s a reason we cry out “Oh God” in those moments of deep pleasure. It’s not blasphemy. It’s a soul-deep remembering.
In dreams, anything becomes possible. We may find ourselves in the arms of a stranger, a past lover, someone we’ve never touched in waking life, but who feels as familiar as our own breath. Sometimes we merge with spirit beings, ancestors, archetypes. The forms may be surreal, symbolic, or shapeshifting, because dream lovers aren’t always literal, they’re invitations.
Invitations to reunite with soul threads. To embody the Lover, the Serpent, the Priestess, the Healer. To meet ourselves in forms we’ve long silenced or disowned. Often, it’s not about the person at all, but what they represent. Power. Passion. Tenderness. Permission. The dream body remembers what the waking mind forgets.
And let’s name the deeper truth now: soul-level communion is real. These dreams don’t always stay contained in the psyche. Sometimes, they’re shared experiences. If you’re thinking of someone with strong emotion, longing, desire, even grief, that thought becomes energy. It moves. It reaches. And if the other is attuned to you, they may feel it. Not as a conscious thought, but as a subtle frequency. A stirring in the night. A dream they can’t quite shake.
This is the intelligence of the soul field. Where time and space dissolve. Where lovers remember each other through the veil.
These dreams often arrive during times of emotional or energetic opening. When we’re grieving, creatively blocked, repressing desire, or navigating a threshold, these dreams come as messengers. They bring healing. They activate dormant parts of the body. They offer closure, clarity, confirmation. They reignite our connection to joy, to power, to the sacred yes of aliveness.
Even dream-orgasms, yes, they’re real, can be profoundly healing. Especially if touch, pleasure, or intimacy has been absent in waking life. And yet so many carry shame. They wake from these dreams wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” Especially if the imagery was strange, forbidden, or “inappropriate.” But erotic dreams don’t come to shame us, they come to liberate us.
We’ve all dreamt of partners we wouldn’t choose in the light of day, same-sex lovers, celebrities, even people from our past we’d rather forget. But dreams are symbolic. They’re the soul’s poetry. They speak in images, sensations, and metaphor. And they ask us not to judge, but to listen.
What part of me does this represent? What wants to be felt, healed, or reintegrated? What am I being invited to remember?
Erotic dreams are not just about sex. They’re about wholeness. They’re about power reclaimed. They’re about love, sometimes for another, often for the self. And sometimes, they are simply about joy. And that, too, is sacred. So next time your dream lover comes bearing fire, welcome them. Feel what wants to be felt. Honour what wants to be healed. And if you wake with tears, a sigh, or a sweet ache that lingers into the day, know this:
It wasn’t just a dream. It was a remembering.
📚 Further Reading & Exploration
Robert Moss – Conscious Dreaming On dream travel, soul connection, and shared dreaming experiences.
Barbara Brennan – Hands of Light A classic text on energy fields, cords, and how emotion/thought affects others.
Anodea Judith – Wheels of Life A deep dive into chakras, creative/sexual energy, and inner integration.
Toko-pa Turner – Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home On the sacred art of dreamwork and returning to the soul’s truth.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés – Women Who Run With the Wolves Archetypal stories that explore feminine psyche, longing, and reclamation.
Mantak Chia – The Multi-Orgasmic Man/Woman Taoist teachings on sexual energy as sacred and transformative force.
Rupert Sheldrake – Morphic Resonance A scientific view of non-local connection and shared fields of experience.
🌕 Ever had a dream that left your soul stirred and your body buzzing? I’d love to hear. Drop a note in the comments or share this with someone who dreams in symbols too.
Grief shows up in many forms, after death, divorce, disappointment, or even the quiet loss of a future we thought we’d have. When someone we care about is hurting, it’s natural to want to help. But often, the words we reach for can do more harm than good.
Over the years, I’ve experienced my share of deep losses, and along the way, I’ve also heard a few spectacularly unhelpful comments. Well-meaning, perhaps. But misplaced. This article isn’t about judgement. It’s about awareness. If you’ve ever wondered what to say (or not say) to someone grieving, here are some gentle truths I’ve learned, rooted in lived experience, professional insight, and a whole lot of listening.
Grief Isn’t a Problem to Solve
When someone is grieving, whether from the death of a loved one or the breakdown of a meaningful relationship, the last thing they need is to be told to cheer up or get over it. These phrases might be common, but they’re far from kind.
Grief is not a mindset to be fixed. It’s a process that reflects love, attachment, and human depth. The more significant the loss, the longer the integration. And integration, not “getting over it”,is what healing truly looks like (Neimeyer, 2000; Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). Because in truth, there is no “getting over” anything, not really. There is only getting through it, one breath, one memory, one moment at a time.
What Hurts: The Comments That Close the Heart
Here are a few things I’d gently suggest we retire from our vocabulary, especially when someone is hurting:
“Cheer up.” “You’ll just have to get over it.” “You’re just feeling sorry for yourself.” “Everything happens for a reason.” (Sometimes true, rarely helpful in the moment)
These comments, though sometimes offered with the intention of comfort, can feel invalidating and emotionally tone-deaf. They tend to shut people down rather than help them open up. They may even provoke anger, resentment, or withdrawal. As one person put it: “It made me want to give them a right hook.”
Why? Because when someone is grieving, they don’t need fixing. They need witnessing (Wolfelt, 2004).
What Helps: Listening, Presence, and Permission to Feel
Supporting someone in pain doesn’t require special training. You don’t need perfect words. You need your ears, to listen deeply without interruption or correction. Your presence, to let them know they’re not alone. Your arms, to offer a hug, if it’s welcome. That’s it.
Often, simply being with someone as they move through grief is the greatest gift you can give. When we speak our pain aloud, we begin to metabolise it. We don’t need answers, we need space. In fact, speaking allows a person to hear their own thoughts more clearly, and often, to reach their own realisations about what comes next. This is how true empowerment begins (Wolfelt, 2004; Neimeyer, 1999).
Grief Rewrites the Inner World
Grief often rewrites a person’s entire inner landscape. They may no longer feel like themselves. Their sleep may change, their appetite, their energy, their faith in others, or even in life itself. What looks like withdrawal might be someone simply trying to feel safe again in a world that no longer makes sense.
When we recognise that grief is not just emotional but cognitive, physiological, and spiritual, we can meet it with more compassion (Child and Youth Mental Health Service, 2009). Holding space isn’t just kindness, it’s allowing someone to reassemble their world without forcing a timeline.
Advice Isn’t Always Helpful, Even When It Comes From Love
Jumping in with advice, particularly when it’s not been asked for, can disempower the person who is grieving. Even if well-intentioned, it can feel like you’re steering their experience, rather than honouring it.
If you truly want to help someone move through pain, don’t rush to fix it. Don’t offer silver linings too quickly. Don’t confuse your discomfort with their need to be heard. Instead, you might try saying: “I’m here for you.” “This must be so hard, take your time.” “Would it help to talk, or would you prefer some quiet company?”
If they cry, hand them a tissue. Make a cuppa. Let them cry. Please don’t ask, “What’s wrong?”,because nothing is wrong. They’re grieving. They’re releasing. They’re healing (Beyond Blue, 2008).
Grief Isn’t Only About Death
It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t only follow death. It arises any time there is loss of identity, connection, or a sense of safety in the world. That includes: the end of relationships, the loss of a job or financial security, the death of a pet (which can be just as profound as losing a person), a major health diagnosis, moving homes or losing custody of children, the fallout from domestic violence, legal battles, or psychological trauma.
In family law especially, many people walk into a lawyer’s office having already lost so much, stability, trust, dreams for the future. What they need isn’t just legal advice. They need to feel seen as a whole human being.
Too often, lawyers are trained to focus solely on structure, precedent, and outcome. But when someone is living with the aftermath of emotional abuse, violence, or betrayal, those elements, while necessary, are not enough.
As someone who has worked across both legal and therapeutic systems, I offer this gentle reminder to those in the legal field: by the time someone reaches you, their world may have fallen apart. The trauma might not be visible, but it’s often sitting quietly in the room (Jigsaw Counselling, 2013).
You don’t need to be a counsellor. But you can be kind. You can listen just a little longer. You can avoid telling them to “move on” or “stay calm” before you’ve truly heard them out. You can refer them to trauma-informed professionals if they’re struggling to cope.
Your compassion may not be billable time, but it can be unforgettable. Trauma-informed presence matters more than polished technique. You don’t need to have the “right” words, you just need to be safe. Safety isn’t created by silence or solutions; it’s created by consistency, non-judgment, and allowing the person to be exactly where they are. For many, especially those experiencing PTSD, being heard without being redirected or doubted can be the most healing experience of all (Levine, 2010; van der Kolk, 2014).
Different People, Different Grief
Not everyone grieves the same way. Some cry openly, others go quiet. Some seek company, others solitude. Cultural background, personality, upbringing, and trauma history all shape how we move through loss. It’s important we don’t judge someone’s grief by how it looks. Stillness can hold oceans. And silence, sometimes, is survival (Walmsley, 2006).
Grief That Has No Name
Some grief isn’t obvious, like the grief of never having had what one needed. Or the grief that stacks silently after repeated change, instability, or systemic oppression. This is sometimes called disenfranchised grief or ambiguous loss, and it can be just as real and just as painful (Boss, 1999). We must create space for grief in all its forms, not just the ones that come with flowers and casseroles.
Let’s Talk About Bereavement Leave
It still stuns me that most workplace bereavement leave offers just three days, as if losing a child, partner, or parent is a brief interruption to your schedule, rather than a rupture to your entire existence. The expectation to return to “normal” so quickly speaks to how poorly grief is understood in our systems. It’s not just unfair, it’s cruel. Grievers need flexibility, support, and permission to be human. Anything less isn’t productivity, it’s trauma on top of trauma.
If You Are the One Grieving, Please Know This
You are not broken. You are not too sensitive. You are not behind. You are simply walking through the valley of loss. You don’t need to hurry. You don’t need to pretend. There is wisdom in your slowness. There is dignity in your pain. You are already healing, just by feeling.
Final Thoughts: Grief is Not a Detour, It’s a Doorway
We tend to treat grief like an interruption to normal life. But really, it’s a powerful, transformational part of it. So next time someone close to you is hurting, ask yourself: Can I be still enough to let them feel? Can I resist the urge to fix or judge? Can I offer presence, even when it’s messy?
In a world that often rushes past pain, being willing to stay, with honesty and heart, might be the most radical act of kindness we can offer.
Whether you are the one grieving, or the one standing beside someone in grief, thank you for caring. May we all become gentler with what we cannot see. And braver in how we hold one another through the sacred work of being human.
Written by Cheryl O’Connor (originally 2018, revised 2025) Author | Artist | Holistic Counsellor | Social Worker Exploring where structure meets soul , through law, healing, and symbolic art.
References
Beyond Blue. (2008). Grief, loss and depression. https://www.beyondblue.org.au Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief. Harvard University Press. Child and Youth Mental Health Service. (2009). Grief and loss fact sheet. Queensland Health. Jigsaw Counselling. (2013). CHCCS426B Provide support and care relating to grief and loss assessment (V1). Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving. Scribner. Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books. Neimeyer, R. A. (1999). Narrative strategies in grief therapy. Journal of Constructivist Psychology, 12(1), 65–85. Neimeyer, R. A. (2000). Lessons of loss: A guide to coping. McGraw-Hill. Walmsley, R. (2006). The grief workbook. Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service. Wolfelt, A. D. (2004). Understanding your grief. Companion Press. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score. Viking.
🌕 Full Moon Rising: The Emotional Pull of Lunar Cycles
By Cheryl O’Connor · 10 June 2025
A Moment with the Strawberry Moon
On June 11, the full moon will rise over Australia — known in the Northern Hemisphere as the Strawberry Moon, named not for its colour, but for the ripening of fruit that traditionally occurs at this time.
While the name may not reflect our Southern seasons, the energy of this moon still speaks. It carries a frequency of ripening, readiness, and sweet release — a time when what’s been quietly growing beneath the surface reaches its moment of fullness.
Astrologically, this full moon rises in Sagittarius — the seeker, the truth-teller, the horizon-walker. It invites us to look honestly at what’s come to completion, what beliefs or burdens are ready to be shed, and where our deeper alignment is calling us next.
This isn’t a moon for force or striving. It’s a moon for tuning in. For honouring what is quietly asking to be released.
What truth is ripening in you? What’s ready to fall from the branch, and nourish something new?
This full moon, I’ll be tending the fire of stillness. Dream-listening. Letting the symbols speak.
The Moon, the Body, and the Emotional Landscape
Have you ever noticed your emotions rising to the surface, your sleep thinning, or your dreams becoming more vivid as the full moon draws near?
You’re not alone.
The moon governs the tides. And just as the ocean swells under her pull, so too, many of us feel subtle — or not-so-subtle — waves rising within. Our emotional waters stir. Our subconscious speaks more loudly. Our nervous systems become more sensitive.
Across cultures, the moon has long been associated with the Divine Feminine — intuitive, cyclical, nurturing. In some Indigenous traditions, a woman’s menstrual cycle was known as her “moon time,” often syncing with the full moon. During this phase, women would retreat to Moon Lodges to rest, to dream, and to replenish — a space of reverence, not retreat.
Today, many of us have lost that rhythm. We’re encouraged to override our cycles — to push through, to stay productive, to disconnect from the body’s quiet wisdom.
Yet the body, like the Earth, keeps time. And the moon still speaks.
“There is a tide in the affairs of men…” Shakespeare wrote — and perhaps he was more literal than we’ve realised.
Science Catches Up with the Moon
Modern studies are beginning to validate what ancient cultures always knew.
A 2021 study in Science Advances found that people — even in urban settings — tend to fall asleep later and sleep less in the days leading up to the full moon, suggesting our circadian rhythms are still sensitive to lunar light and gravitational cycles (Casiraghi et al., 2021).
And in Frontiers in Endocrinology, researchers observed that menstrual cycles longer than 27 days may occasionally sync with lunar phases — particularly in women under 35 and in those less exposed to artificial light at night (Helfrich-Förster et al., 2021).
This may explain why, even in our hyper-lit, hyper-busy modern lives, so many of us feel the tug of the moon. It’s not superstition. It’s biological. Emotional. Rhythmic. Real.
A Gentle Invitation
If your sleep has been strange… If your dreams have been louder… If your heart feels like it’s carrying more than usual…
You’re not broken. You’re in rhythm.
This full moon, I’m choosing rest over resistance. Listening over logic. Letting the wave move through. If something has been stirring in your sleep or spirit, I’d love to hear what’s rising for you, too.
– Cheryl O’Connor Author | Artist | Holistic Counsellor | Social Worker Exploring where structure meets soul — through law, healing, and symbolic art.
🔍 References
Casiraghi, L., Spiousas, I., Dunster, G. P., McGlothlen, K., Fernandez-Duque, E., Valeggia, C., & de la Iglesia, H. O. (2021). Moonstruck sleep: Synchronization of human sleep with the moon cycle under natural conditions. Science Advances, 7(5), eabe1358. https://doi.org/10.1126/sciadv.abe1358
Helfrich-Förster, C., Monecke, S., Spiousas, I., Hovestadt, T., Mitesser, O., & Wehr, T. A. (2021). Women temporarily synchronize their menstrual cycles with the luminance and gravimetric cycles of the Moon. Science Advances, 7(5), eabe1358. https://doi.org/10.1126/sciadv.abe1358
Note: These two studies were published under the same issue and DOI grouping in Science Advances due to their related chronobiological focus.
For many of us, simply being present, fully here, right now, is one of the greatest challenges we face. In Western culture especially, we’re conditioned to think in linear terms: past, present, future. We track what has been, plan what’s next, and often measure our lives by where we’re going and what we hope to achieve. We make lists, set goals, and feel comforted by having a plan. But underneath it all, we may be reacting not to what’s real, but to a story we’ve told ourselves about how things should go.
My mum, bless her, was the Queen of Organisation. With four children and a job, she had to be. Each of us had assigned chores, and our weeks were structured down to the minute. I grew up knowing exactly what I’d be doing, and when. While life still threw curveballs, I found the predictability comforting. When I became a mother myself, I quickly saw how being organised helped ease stress, and that habit carried over into my work life.
Over three decades in the legal industry only reinforced that rhythm. Planning ahead, meeting deadlines, staying in routine, all of it created a sense of order in what was often a stressful environment. But over time, the rhythm became a rut. I began to feel stuck, drained of joy, and quietly suffocated by the very structure that once kept me afloat. I also realised that when organisation becomes too rigid, it stops being helpful. It becomes control.
As I deepened in awareness, I started to sense that time, at least as we know it, might not actually exist. That all time is now. That things unfold not when we want them to, but when the energy aligns. And from that perspective, life became gentler. I stopped expecting things to go a certain way, and with that, emotional reactions softened. I found myself detaching, from outcomes, from expectations, from old habits of control.
I made fewer plans. “Going with the flow” evolved into being the flow. I became more spontaneous. I let things go if they weren’t working, and trusted that something better might be waiting to fall into place. The most I now plan is a basic outline, one day at a time. As for those job interview questions like, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”, I’ve come to see them as part of a cultural story that often robs us of presence, creativity, and possibility. How can we know what five years will bring? Sometimes, we don’t even know what the next five minutes will bring.
I learned the hard way: plans rarely go according to plan.
Now, if something I want to do just isn’t flowing, I don’t push it. If the energy is not aligned, I let it be. I’ve noticed how stressed people get when things don’t go “according to plan”, the frustration, the disappointment, the tension it can cause in relationships. But often, those delays or disruptions are gifts. Protection. Rearrangements. Or just not the right time yet. The puzzle pieces aren’t in place. And when they are, everything clicks.
I thought I had this all sorted. Skeletal plan? Check. Present moment awareness? Check. Calendar reminders so I didn’t forget the essentials? Check. It was working beautifully, until one day when I found myself in a situation where communication had been unclear, and I didn’t know what I was “meant” to be doing next. I’d been told one thing, then it suddenly changed. I felt confused, unprepared, and frustrated.
Old habits kicked in: irritation, storytelling, the mental narrative of how it should have been communicated differently. And underneath it all, discomfort. My little comfort zone, small as it was, had been nudged.
Then came the gentle wisdom of another: Does it really matter what you are doing next?
In that moment, I had to laugh. Who was creating the confusion? The person who hadn’t communicated clearly? Or me, reacting to a story in my head, projecting into the future, and leaving the present moment behind?
It was such a simple lesson, offered in such an effective way: Just show up. Be present. Do what’s needed in the moment of now. Let go of the rest.
“Dreamtime visions speak to me of the truth within,
Wisdom, Healing & Knowledge of Self to me they bring,
Helping me to know the true essence of my Soul,
enabling me to consciously experience
I AM …. One with the Whole.”
There is a life force running through all things. Some call it God, Spirit, Nature, Love, or Universal Energy. The name is less important than the feeling it brings and the healing it makes possible. When we remember this force, we begin to remember who we truly are.
For me, this energy first introduced itself through Reiki and later deepened with Seichim—two distinct yet connected frequencies of the same sacred current. Reiki is often associated with the Japanese lineage, while Seichim flows from Ancient Egypt, through the teachings of Sekhem and the energy of the fierce and compassionate goddesses Sekhmet and Kwan Yin.
Where Reiki is the wave flowing in, Seichim is the wave flowing out. Together, they form a complete cycle of energetic restoration.
A Multi-Layered Being
This healing work finds deep resonance with the Anthroposophical perspective of Rudolf Steiner, which sees the human being as a fourfold being:
Physical Body: The visible body, a map of our accumulated experiences and emotions.
Etheric Body (Energy Body): The life or breath body, responsible for vitality, healing, and rhythm. It thrives on sleep, air, water, nutrition, and nature.
Astral Body: The seat of memory and emotion. When the etheric is weakened, the astral can push through into the physical and cause dis-ease.
Core Self or “I AM”: The indwelling essence of who we truly are – divine, wise, and whole. This is not a “higher” self-perched on some pedestal, but the deepest truth of our being, right here, embodied. The notion of a “higher” self can often reinforce hierarchical thinking rooted in outdated paradigms. In truth, we are not reaching upward, we are remembering inward.
Further expanded by Barbara Brennan, this system includes seven energetic layers beyond the physical—each interpenetrating the other:
Physical Body
Etheric Body
Emotional Body
Mental Body
Astral Body
Etheric Template
Celestial Body
Ketheric Template
Each is linked to a chakra and vibrates at a unique frequency. Some healers also experience more than the standard seven chakras.
Blockages, Breath and the Map of the Body
In Reiki, Seichim, and Body-Based Counselling alike, imbalance and illness are seen to originate from energetic blockages—areas where life force energy cannot flow due to past trauma, grief, fear, suppressed emotions, or limiting beliefs. These imprints are stored in the subtle layers surrounding and entering the body.
When breath and awareness are consciously brought into these wounded areas, subconscious memories surface, and with them, release. In this process comes healing, insight, and a return to flow.
Brennan observed, “Illness is a result of imbalance, and imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are.” Others such as Baginski and Sharamon see symptoms as messages needing to be heard, accepted, and integrated before true healing can occur.
While approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) may assist some individuals in reframing thoughts and behaviours, they often stay in the mental realm. Deep transformation, however, often requires feeling, not just thinking. Jamie Sams says to feel is to heal. When emotion is acknowledged and expressed, the energy that has been held or suppressed is free to move again.
The Healing Power of Breath
When our bodies become stressed from pressure or anxiety, the adrenal glands release adrenaline. This hormone increases our heart rate to prepare for a fight-or-flight response. While this is a natural survival mechanism, it has side effects—particularly on the breath.
When we are anxious, our breathing becomes shallow. This reduces oxygen intake and can lead to fatigue, panic attacks, emotional distress, headaches, muscle tension, and even exacerbate conditions like PTSD.
Breath is life. It delivers oxygen to our cells and removes carbon dioxide, a key toxin. You can live without food or water for a time—but without oxygen, only minutes. Breath is also how we move life force energy. When pain is present, intentional breath can ease it. As infants and children, we naturally breathed into our bellies. But over time, many of us begin to breathe only into the upper chest, especially under stress.
Chest breathing results in irregular, rapid breaths. This reduces oxygen flow and limits the body’s ability to exhale toxins. The result? Fatigue, anxiety, and disconnection. The good news is: this pattern can be unlearned.
The Benefits of Cyclic Deep Breathing
Stimulates the lymphatic system, aiding detox and healing.
Strengthens immunity by supporting the body’s self-healing capacity.
Balances brain hemispheres and calms the nervous system.
Reduces anxiety and helps regulate emotional response.
Can be practiced anywhere, at any time, with no tools required.
A Gentle Word on Limitations
If you have asthma or another respiratory condition, cyclic breathing may not be appropriate. Please seek medical advice before practicing.
What Is Cyclic Breathing?
Cyclic breathing is a technique to calm the body and mind during times of stress, anxiety, or fear. One simple and accessible method is based on the Ho‘oponopono rhythm:
Sit comfortably, feet on the ground. Place your hands on your lap or your belly.
Notice your breath, just as it is.
Then begin to breathe in for a count of seven.
Hold for a count of seven.
Exhale for a count of seven.
Hold again for seven.
This is one round. Repeat it seven times.
You may also modify the count to suit your capacity. For example:
Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 3, hold for 3.
Or: Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 5, hold for 5.
Breathe slowly and gently, always staying within your comfort zone.
With consistent practice, abdominal breathing becomes natural again. You’ll notice your belly rising and falling as you breathe—just as it did when you were a child.
To support this, try practicing three times a day, or as needed. Repetition is key. Studies suggest it takes around 21 to 30 days to form a new habit. But the benefit is lasting: your body begins to remember the way home.
Enter, Exit, Behold: The Body Speaks
Body-Based Counselling draws on these same principles, using methods that access subconscious information directly through the body. Artistic therapies such as:
Clay work
Watercolour painting
Movement and gesture
Colour exploration
These tools bypass the analytical mind. Through simple yet profound methods like Enter, Exit, Behold, clients can step into a bodily sensation or pain, observe what wisdom it carries, and exit with the insight and resource needed for integration, without being overwhelmed or re-traumatised by the original emotion.
This process allows even unspoken or inexpressible emotions to be seen, shaped, and shifted. Pain takes form in clay. Breath is freed through movement. Colour returns to drawings that once looked lifeless. The intangible becomes tangible. Healing begins.
Real Lives, Real Healing
Here are a few examples that reflect the potency of these approaches:
A woman preparing for breast surgery received six sessions while also working with a naturopath. Just before the operation, scans revealed that the lumps had vanished.
A pregnant woman, leaking fluid after a medical procedure, came to me in a vision asking for help. I sent healing and saw the hole in the sac close. Two weeks later, she had stabilised.
A newborn boy with lung issues was hospitalised. After a brief hands-on healing session, he was released the next day. He later grew into a healthy twelve-year-old.
I lived with knee pain for seventeen years after a traumatic accident. Following my Reiki and Seichim attunement, I released grief I didn’t even know I was carrying. The pain disappeared.
The Counsellor’s Role
Just like with energy healing, true transformation in counselling comes when the client is ready and willing. The counsellor or practitioner simply creates a safe and sacred space, offers guidance, and teaches tools. But the work, the choice, the healing, comes from within.
Permission is essential. Unless a person asks, the energy cannot flow to them. Healing respects free will. When someone is ready and willing to receive, the field opens. Our role is to hold the space — not to push or fix, but to witness and support.
We do not fix. We empower. We do not impose. We invite.
Signs of Change
Change reveals itself in many ways: a client enters hunched, disconnected, anxious. After the session, they stand taller, breathe deeper, feel lighter. Art becomes more vibrant. Clay forms soften. Colour returns to the canvas. Their posture changes. So does their presence.
That is healing. That is remembering.
“The energy knows the way. All it needs is your yes.”
Social struggles throughout history have been instrumental in implementing human rights legislation, changing existing laws, and shaping societal thinking about personal freedoms. One of the longest and most contested of these struggles is the fight for women’s reproductive and contraceptive rights. The debate surrounding women’s autonomy over their bodies and their right to access abortion services has persisted for centuries, driven by ethnocentric, patriarchal, and religious moral perceptions, as well as by gendered stereotypes and legislative control.
The issue of abortion rights has repeatedly highlighted the tension between personal autonomy and state, religious, and medical authority. Despite advancements in women’s rights movements and international human rights frameworks, such as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (United Nations n.d.a) and the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) (UN Women 2000-2009), barriers to reproductive freedom remain entrenched in many societies. The historical and ongoing struggle for reproductive rights, particularly the right to safe and legal abortion, reveals the enduring power dynamics that seek to control women’s bodies and choices, and demonstrates that achieving genuine gender equality remains an unfinished global challenge.
The Overturning of Roe v. Wade: A Landmark Moment
Women’s autonomy over their bodies has caused an ongoing heated societal debate for centuries. The latest major event occurred in 2022 with the overruling of the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision by the United States Supreme Court on 24 June 2022 (Clough 2022; Lewandowska 2022). The outcome of Roe v. Wade was that the “Fourteenth Amendment’s concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action . . . is broad enough to encompass a woman’s decision whether or not to terminate a pregnancy” (Roe v. Wade 1973, at 153). Abortion could now occur in other circumstances (Ehrlich 2018; Ginsberg 1985). Previous law stated termination could only occur if a woman were pregnant due to rape or incest, where there were fetal anomalies, or where the mother’s life was at risk (Ehrlich 2018; Ginsberg 1985).
The overruling of the Roe v. Wade precedent in 2022 has global implications concerning women’s health. It is an attack on human reproductive rights as it removes “the constitutional right to bodily autonomy from over half the United States population” (Clough 2022, p.160; Lewandowska 2022; Cherminsky 2022; The Lancet 2022). As Clough (2022, p.160) states, “it serves as a stark reminder of the need to defend human rights; it is not enough to assume that, once granted, they cannot be taken away.”
Historical Context: Slavery and Early Abortion Legislation
To understand the abortion debate, changes to legislation, and the struggle for women to access abortion services, we need to revisit the 1800s when white people owned Black slaves and relied upon slaves for cheap labour and economic growth (Murray 2021). The prohibition of the importation of slaves into America in January of 1808 (Murray 2021) resulted in slave owners concerning themselves with the “reproductive capacities of enslaved women” because the source of their labour and economy now needed to be procured from slaves’ children (Murray 2021, p.2034). Enslaved women were aware that any child they bore was not rightfully theirs and could be sold (Murray 2021). Therefore, women used various techniques to inhibit conception or abort their unborn child (Murray 2021).
As a consequence, “slave owners sought to deter and punish efforts to prevent or terminate pregnancies” (Murray 2021, p. 2035). Abortion began to be criminalised, and legislation was passed that banned the distribution of contraceptives and abortifacients, which had not been banned prior to the aforementioned 1808 legislation (Murray 2021; Siegal 1992).
Medical Campaigns and the Criminalisation of Abortion
The campaign to enact anti-abortion legislation was primarily organised by white male physicians who considered contraceptive information provided to all women and actions by female Black and Indigenous women as dangerous (Goodwin 2020; Joffe, Weitz & Stacey 2004). Further, these physicians perceived abortions, if allowed to continue, as a disruption of the American social order of motherhood, family, and white dominance due to birth rates amongst white women decreasing (Beisel & Kay 2004; Murray 2021; Ehrlich 2018).
In 1857, Dr. Horatio Storer, a “Harvard-educated gynaecologist,” spoke at a “meeting of the Suffolk District Medical Society” (Ehrlich 2018, p. 182). He addressed the issue of an “alarming frequency of induced abortions among respectable Protestant women…” (Ehrlich 2018, p. 182). Storer convinced “the Boston medical society and the then recently founded American Medical Association (AMA) to establish investigative committees to look into ‘criminal abortion’ to suppress what he perceived to be ‘the slaughter of countless children now perpetuated in our midst’” (Ehrlich 2018, p. 182). Storer believed women’s physiological makeup rendered “her incapable of self-management” (Ehrlich 2018, p.185).
The AMA’s campaign to criminalise abortion was based on “a paternalistic and racialized code of white-male moral authority over women’s reproductive bodies” (Ehrlich 2018, p.183). The campaign resulted in abortion becoming a statutory crime in all states of America by the end of the nineteenth century unless certification by a doctor occurred that the procedure would “save the life of the pregnant woman” (Ehrlich 2019, p.183). Abortion laws now existed that mirrored eugenic concerns regarding controlling reproductive rights due to fear-based perceptions that white women were not producing offspring as rapidly as immigrants and non-whites (Murray 2021; Ehrlich 2018).
Contemporary Efforts to Restrict Abortion Rights
The racially motivated and gendered paternalistic and religious views regarding abortion reveal the true impetus for criminalisation and explain, to some degree, why efforts still remain globally by men to legally control women’s bodies and choices as per the following examples:
2017 America: “Unprecedented attacks on reproductive health rights” resulted in 19 states adopting “63 new restrictions on abortion rights, service provision, and patient access” (Espey, Dennis & Landy 2018, p. 67).
2018 Argentina: A bill to decriminalize and legalize abortion was debated in Congress for the first time but did not pass through the Senate (Sutton 2020, p.1).
Access to abortion in America since 1976 has undergone further restrictions with increased waiting periods, biased counselling, and a mandate regarding parental involvement for minors (Joffe, Weitz & Stacey 2004; Grossman et al. 2014a; Grossman et al. 2014b; Minkoff, Diaz-Tello & Paulk 2021; Askola 2018).
Texas, May 2013 to November 2013: A decrease by half in the facilities where medical abortion was available (Grossman et al. 2014a; Grossman et al. 2014b).
Australia: While surgical abortion has been provided as a health service “since the early 1970s,” medical abortion utilising Mifepristone “was deliberately obstructed” by the Federal Government via legislation concerning its authority over pharmaceutical drug importation, and it was not until 2006 that the legislative restriction was removed (Baird 2015, p.169). It took until 2012 for Mifepristone to be approved by the Australian Federal Government as a commercial import, and it was not until 2013 that it became a listed subsidised medicine (Baird 2015).
Reproductive Healthcare and Rights in Queensland: A Complex Landscape
Reproductive healthcare in Queensland is shaped by a complex interplay of legal, ethical, and social factors. The state has seen significant changes, particularly in the areas of abortion rights, fertility treatments, and workplace reproductive rights. These issues reflect broader societal debates around personal autonomy, healthcare access, and the role of government in regulating reproductive choices. However, despite legislative progress, significant barriers remain, especially for those in rural and remote areas.
Decriminalisation of Abortion
In Queensland in 2018 a pivotal step occurred in recognising reproductive autonomy, aligning the state with the broader Australian movement to treat abortion as a healthcare issue rather than a criminal matter (Storry, 2018). While the legal framework shifted, practical access to abortion services remains uneven. Women in rural and remote areas face considerable obstacles, such as long distances to clinics, financial barriers, and a lack of available healthcare professionals (Sexual Health, 2022).
The Termination of Pregnancy in Queensland Post-Decriminalisation Study (2022) indicates that while decriminalisation aimed to improve access, stigma surrounding abortion remains a significant challenge. In smaller, more conservative communities, social pressures often prevent women from seeking services. According to Deveny (2023), these social and cultural factors, combined with logistical challenges, continue to hinder women’s access to reproductive health services.
Workplace Reproductive Rights
Workplace protections for pregnant employees have been a subject of continued evolution in Queensland. The state’s legislative changes concerning maternity leave, workplace discrimination, and the prevention of gender-based discrimination provide a more supportive framework for women. However, Deveny (2023) highlights that discrimination in the workplace remains a persistent issue, and women often face barriers to achieving full reproductive rights in the workplace, particularly in industries that are male-dominated or conservative.
The Queensland Government, under Premier David Crisafulli, has recently implemented a significant policy regarding abortion legislation. In December 2024, Premier Crisafulli introduced a parliamentary motion that effectively bans any changes to the state’s abortion laws until at least October 2028. This action was taken to uphold his election promise of no alterations to abortion laws and to prevent potential legislative challenges from within his own party. The motion passed despite opposition from the Labor Party, which voted against it, expressing frustration over the move (The Australian, 2024).
This policy has been met with criticism from various quarters. Opponents argue that it undermines the democratic process by restricting Members of Parliament from debating and introducing bills on the subject, thereby limiting legislative scrutiny and public discourse on reproductive rights (Courier-Mail, 2024).
Additionally, for a critical analysis of Premier Crisafulli’s decision to restrict parliamentary debate on abortion, you may find the article “The deeper issue behind Premier’s move to gag abortion” from The Courier-Mail insightful (Courier-Mail, 2024).
The decriminalisation of abortion in Queensland in 2018 marked a significant step in recognizing reproductive autonomy (Storry, 2018). However, practical access to abortion services remains uneven, with women in rural and remote areas facing considerable obstacles such as long distances, financial barriers, and a lack of healthcare professionals (Sexual Health, 2022).
Recent discussions in Queensland have also focused on the need for reproductive health leave to support women undergoing fertility treatments or coping with miscarriage (McKell Institute, 2024). The introduction of such leave would improve employee retention and reduce workplace discrimination, though it has not yet been widely implemented in Australia.
Regulation of IVF and Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART)
In a related issue, the regulation of ART remains contentious in Queensland, particularly concerning ethical issues related to donor anonymity and the rights of donor-conceived children. The lack of a national donor registry has led to inconsistent standards and raised ethical questions about how embryos and donor information are handled (Messenger, 2024).
Global Influences and Local Impacts
Global trends in reproductive rights, such as the overturning of Roe v. Wade in the United States, have sparked concerns in Queensland about the potential erosion of local reproductive rights, especially in rural areas with entrenched conservative values (Murray, 2021). This highlights the need for continued vigilance in defending reproductive rights, both locally and globally (Clough, 2022).
International Implications: A Global Struggle
While the fight for reproductive rights is deeply embedded in Australia’s political landscape, the battle rages on beyond our borders, particularly in the United States. Under the current administration of Donald Trump, the reproductive rights of women have once again become a political battleground, mirroring the long history of male-driven control over women’s bodies.
In his first 100 days of a second term, Trump has enacted a series of controversial measures that significantly restrict access to reproductive healthcare. Among these, pardoning anti-abortion activists and reinstating the Mexico City Policy—which restricts foreign aid to organizations that provide or promote abortion—are just the beginning. These actions have ignited fierce opposition from reproductive rights groups who argue that such moves are an affront to women’s autonomy (Harrington, 2023; International Planned Parenthood Federation, 2023).
The administration’s decision to revoke policies supporting military travel for reproductive services and freeze critical funding for low-income patients, particularly affecting Title X clinics, reflects a deliberate rollback of essential healthcare provisions (Guttmacher Institute, 2023). Adding to the growing alarm, the Trump administration has been accused of failing to support families through comprehensive, family-friendly policies, while paradoxically championing pro-natalist stances (Smith, 2023).
Perhaps most concerning, however, is the increasing possibility of restrictions on abortion medications, such as mifepristone, which could have far-reaching consequences for women seeking access to safe and legal abortion care (American Medical Association, 2023). For many in the United States, these policies are a painful reminder of the historical attempts to control women’s reproductive choices. The echo of past struggles—of rights denied, and freedoms curbed—is unmistakable.
The response from American reproductive rights groups is growing louder, as they seek to not only protect access to healthcare but to remind the world of the consequences of turning back the clock on women’s bodily autonomy (Planned Parenthood, 2023). These developments serve as a stark reminder that the struggle for reproductive rights is ongoing, not just in the halls of power in Australia, but across the globe.
International Human Rights and the Struggle for Reproductive Rights
Beyond Debate: Reproductive Rights Are Human Rights
It is frankly incomprehensible that in the 21st century, women still have to fight for their reproductive rights. The fact that the United Nations had to establish a convention affirming these rights — as if women’s autonomy over their own bodies needed external validation — underscores how deeply ingrained patriarchal control remains. Under Article 12 of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW 1979), all State Parties, including the United States, Australia, and Argentina, are obligated to ensure women have access to health services, including those related to family planning, on the basis of equality.
In conclusion, the very existence of a United Nations Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) raises a confronting question: why was such a Convention even necessary? Are women not human? Shouldn’t their rights be inherently protected as human rights? The answer lies in centuries of systemic inequality and the ongoing disregard for women’s autonomy, dignity, and agency.
Even today, despite many nations ratifying CEDAW, its principles are too often ignored or selectively applied. Unfortunately, many political leaders and pro-life groups continue to undermine women’s rights, placing personal beliefs and ideological agendas above the basic rights to health, autonomy, and equality. These groups and individuals are not the ones who will endure pregnancy, give birth, or raise a child. While some men may contribute to these responsibilities, the physical, emotional, and social realities of these experiences overwhelmingly fall to women. Those who seek to control women’s reproductive choices — including decisions around accessing termination services — have no place dictating healthcare policy or harassing women at clinics. It is particularly reprehensible when those women being harassed may not even be attending for a termination.
These ongoing struggles — where women’s voices are disregarded, silenced, or treated as secondary — make it painfully clear that, despite what should be a simple truth, women’s rights are still viewed by many as negotiable. The very fact that we need a global framework like CEDAW to attempt to safeguard these rights is a stark reminder of how far we have yet to go. Until all women are treated as equal, autonomous human beings — with full control over their bodies, lives, and choices — the fight for equality and dignity remains not just necessary, but urgent.
However, the lived reality is one where women’s reproductive autonomy is continuously undermined and politicised by politicians in positions of patriarchal governance, alongside pro-life advocates who, while not making the political decisions, relentlessly harass women who choose to terminate a pregnancy. These politicians, who will never bear the physical, emotional, social, or financial consequences of pregnancy and childbirth, continue to make decisions on behalf of women — often based on the influence of votes from pro-life groups whose members stalk and harass women seeking services, regardless of whether they are attending a clinic for a termination or another medical reason. This persistent disregard for women’s right to choose and control their own reproductive health must be recognised for what it is: a denial of basic human rights.
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Cheryl O'Connor 