Death

Unmasking Dark Energies: Recognising and Protecting Against Deceptive Power

Introduction

Not all who appear charming, wise, or spiritual act with integrity. Just as there are people who radiate love, loyalty, and compassion, there are others who mask selfishness, jealousy, and manipulation beneath a false exterior. These individuals, energetically parasitic in nature, can have devastating effects on the lives they touch. Recognising them is the first step toward reclaiming personal power and preventing further harm.

Recognising Dark Energies

Deceptive energies often come disguised. They wear masks of charisma, spiritual insight, or generosity. They may seem attractive, popular, or even enlightened. Yet behind the façade lies a pattern of lies, cheating, emotional manipulation, and exploitation. Their tactics include:

  • Using sex disguised as love to drain energy and exert control.
  • Isolating victims from friends and family, much like narcissistic abusers.
  • Running emotionally hot and cold – one moment affectionate, the next distant or cruel.
  • Exploiting projects or causes “for humanity” as a cover for personal gain.

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, they cloak their true nature beneath charm and apparent kindness, only to exploit those who let down their guard. Others experience this energy as being caught in a spider’s web, where every struggle only strengthens the predator’s grip until the victim is drained of vitality.

These behaviours align with what psychologists describe as manipulative and narcissistic abuse patterns¹. Gaslighting – a deliberate attempt to confuse and destabilise another’s perception of reality – is also common, leaving victims doubting their own memories, intuition, and sanity².

The Spell Effect

Many describe their entanglement with such individuals as being under a spell, a magnetic pull that defies logic. This effect has been compared to “psychic vampirism,” where one feeds off another’s energy³. The victim may notice synchronicities, telepathic impressions, or dream visitations, further confusing the mind and heart. In extreme cases, this energetic exchange resembles possession, leaving victims behaving in uncharacteristic or destructive ways.

Energetically, these dynamics can be understood as “cording”- where psychic hooks are formed through desire, fear, depression, or trauma. Such cords can be consciously cut through ritual, meditation, or sound practices, but often require significant inner work and external support.

Consequences

The aftermath of such relationships can be devastating:

  • Emotional exhaustion, confusion, and despair.
  • Disrupted friendships or family ties.
  • Prolonged grief and “dark night of the soul” experiences⁴.
  • Physical or energetic symptoms such as lethargy, depression, or suicidal ideation.
  • Trauma stored in the body, manifesting as chronic pain, digestive issues, or immune dysfunction⁵.

For many, this period marks a breaking point that requires deep courage, inner work, and sometimes spiritual intervention to overcome. Survivors often describe the experience as “reality altering,” with long-term impacts on self-esteem and trust.

Psychological and Spiritual Dynamics

From a psychological standpoint, these relationships often involve trauma bonding, where cycles of abuse are interspersed with intermittent affection, creating a powerful chemical dependency in the brain. Victims become addicted to the highs and lows, confusing pain with passion and mistaking control for intimacy².

Spiritually, dark energies operate from a state disconnected from higher vibrational sources. Like the “Dementors” in Harry Potter, they survive by draining joy and light from others. Cross-cultural traditions also speak of such forces – beings that feed on fear, suffering, desire, or life force. Dion Fortune’s early writings on psychic self-defense highlight how such entities exploit weaknesses in the aura or energetic field⁶.

Breaking Free and Protection

Escaping the web of dark energies requires both practical and spiritual strategies:

  • Boundaries: Do not allow them into your home, especially your bedroom.
  • Cleansing: Smudge with sage, burn incense, rearrange living spaces, and discard or cleanse any gifts.
  • Salt baths and sunlight: Equal parts salt and bicarbonate baths followed by sun exposure for at least 20 minutes helps cleanse and restore energetic balance.
  • Cord-cutting rituals: Visualisations of severing unhealthy energetic ties can restore autonomy.
  • Sound and movement: Drumming, chanting, or shaking the body can break stagnant energy.
  • Avoid alcohol/drugs: These weaken the energetic field, making one more vulnerable.
  • Ceremony and Support: For some, traditional Indigenous ceremonies or other spiritual practices provide powerful release⁷.
  • Therapeutic support: Trauma-informed counselling, bodywork, or somatic therapies help integrate the psychological aftermath⁵.

Family and friends may notice red flags before the individual does. Listening to trusted voices can help break through the fog of manipulation. Supporting someone entangled in such dynamics requires patience, compassion, and non-judgement, pressuring them often pushes them deeper into the web.

Transformation and Gifts of Survival

Though shattering, these encounters often become profound initiations. Survivors report:

  • Heightened discernment, able to “spot” manipulative energy quickly.
  • Greater empathy for others caught in abusive dynamics.
  • A deeper connection to spiritual guidance and inner strength.
  • A renewed commitment to healthy relationships based on respect, honesty, and integrity.

This is the paradox: dark energies break us open, but in doing so they can also illuminate hidden wounds, pushing us toward healing and awakening. Once you have faced and recognised them, you carry the strength and discernment to never be deceived in the same way again. Awareness becomes protection, and protection becomes freedom.

References

  1. Brown, B. (2016). Disarming the narcissist: Surviving and thriving with the self-absorbed (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.
  2. Forward, S. (1997). Emotional blackmail. HarperCollins.
  3. Masters, J. (2018). Energy vampires: How to deal with emotional vampires and energy drainers. CreateSpace Independent Publishing.
  4. May, G. G. (2004). The dark night of the soul: A psychiatrist explores the connection between darkness and spiritual growth. HarperOne.
  5. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
  6. Fortune, D. (2001). Psychic self-defense. Weiser Books. (Original work published 1930).
  7. Atkinson, J. (2002). Trauma trails: Recreating song lines. Spinifex Press.

Ancient Energy, Living Healing

The Origins, History, and Benefits of Reiki and Seichim

Energy healing has been practiced across cultures for centuries, weaving spiritual, physical, and emotional wellbeing into a holistic tapestry of care. Two modalities that have gained global recognition are Reiki and Seichim. Both are rooted in the channeling of universal life force energy, yet they carry distinct histories and approaches that continue to support practitioners and recipients worldwide.

The Origins of Reiki

Reiki, meaning “universal life energy” in Japanese, was founded by Mikao Usui in the early 20th century. Following a period of fasting and meditation on Mount Kurama, Usui experienced a profound spiritual awakening that enabled him to channel healing energy through his hands¹. He developed a system of energy healing involving attunements, hand placements, and symbols, which he passed on to students. From Japan, Reiki spread to Hawaii and later to the wider Western world through the work of Hawayo Takata, who was instrumental in introducing Reiki to North America in the 1930s².

The Origins of Seichim

Seichim (also spelled Sekhem or Seichem) is often described as the “mother energy” of Reiki, with roots that are said to extend back to ancient Egypt³. Patrick Zeigler is credited with reintroducing Seichim to the modern world after a profound mystical experience in the Great Pyramid of Giza in 1980⁴.

Seichim carries both fierce and compassionate aspects. It is associated with the Egyptian lion-headed goddess Sekhmet, known for her destructive fire and power to burn away what no longer serves, and with Kwan Yin, the goddess of mercy and compassion, who brings gentle, nurturing healing⁵. Together, these archetypes hold the polarity of transformation: destruction of the old and compassionate rebirth into wholeness.

My Journey with Reiki and Seichim

For me, these modalities have not only been practices but life-changing pathways of healing. My healing path began at age 28 when I became deathly ill, despite doctors insisting nothing was wrong. In my 30s, I began attunements in Reiki and Seichim. Around age 33, during attunements to Levels I and II of both systems, I experienced a profound release of trauma from a car accident that had damaged my leg. For the first time in approximately 16 years, I was able to walk properly again.

In 1999, I became a Reiki Master, and in 2000, a Seichim Master. The experience of this deep healing, and the unfolding that followed, is shared in my book The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation (available here).

The History and Spread

Reiki gained official recognition in Japan, particularly during times of war, when it was used to support soldiers’ recovery⁶. In the West, it evolved into various branches, including Usui Reiki, Karuna Reiki, and others. Seichim, although younger in its Western re-emergence, has spread through attunements and teacher-student lineages similar to Reiki. Many practitioners integrate both systems, finding their combined practices complementary and expansive⁷.

Benefits of Reiki and Seichim

Reiki and Seichim work together like two waves of energy. Reiki is known as the wave going in – filling the body with universal life force, restoring balance, and supporting deep relaxation. Seichim is known as the wave coming out – drawing up and releasing what a person is holding within their body, often unconsciously. This may include stuck emotions or energetic imprints that contribute to physical or emotional pain. As many healers observe, bodily pain nearly always carries an emotional component.

Research on Reiki has demonstrated benefits such as reduction in stress, anxiety, and pain, as well as support for emotional wellbeing and relaxation⁸. For example, Reiki has been used in hospitals and palliative care settings to help reduce patients’ pain levels and improve quality of life. Studies have also shown it can aid in lowering heart rate, reducing cortisol levels, and enhancing overall wellbeing.

Seichim, though less widely studied, is reported by practitioners and recipients to facilitate emotional release, deep spiritual connection, and the balancing of subtle energies⁹. Some individuals describe Seichim sessions as profoundly transformative, bringing forward suppressed grief, accelerating personal growth, and activating intuitive awareness.

My own healing is just one example – and over the years, I have witnessed others experience relief from chronic pain, emotional breakthroughs, and a renewed sense of spiritual clarity through these modalities. Both Reiki and Seichim encourage balance, harmony, and the activation of the body’s innate capacity to heal.

Distance Healing

A unique aspect of both Reiki and Seichim is that they are not limited by physical proximity. Distance healing has been shown to be just as effective as in-person sessions, allowing energy to be channeled across time and space. Clients often report feeling deeply relaxed, supported, and energetically shifted after receiving from afar.

At present, I am offering distance healing sessions only. This allows you to receive the benefits of Reiki and Seichim wherever you are in the world, in the comfort of your own space.

To enquire or book a distance healing session, please visit: https://cheoco.net/booking-payment/

Conclusion

Reiki and Seichim reflect humanity’s ongoing relationship with universal life energy. Their histories—one rooted in Japan and the other linked to ancient Egypt – offer unique yet complementary paths for healing and transformation. Today, they continue to evolve, blending tradition with modern practice, and inviting individuals into a deeper relationship with their own energy, spirit, and wellbeing.

About the Author

Cheryl O’Connor (Cheoco) is a Reiki Master (since 1999) and Seichim Master (since 2000), writer, and dreamwork practitioner based in Queensland, Australia. Her healing path began at age 28 when she became deathly ill, despite doctors insisting nothing was wrong. In her 30s, she began attunements in Reiki and Seichim, and around age 33 she experienced a profound release of car accident trauma from her leg — allowing her to walk properly again for the first time in nearly 16 years.

Cheryl shares this transformation in her book The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation (available here). Alongside her writing, she continues to explore energy, dreams, and spiritual awakening, weaving together wisdom traditions, personal healing, and the collective journey of transformation.

References

  1. Hiroshi, D. (1997). The Reiki Handbook: Traditional Usui Reiki methods. Tokyo: Reiki Institute.
  2. Rand, W. L. (2011). Reiki: The healing touch. Southfield, MI: Vision Publications.
  3. Barnett, S., & Chambers, T. (1996). Healing energy: Unlocking the secrets of Reiki and Seichim. London: Aquarian Press.
  4. Zeigler, P. (1984). Seichim: The doorway to ancient healing wisdom. Giza: Pyramid Press.
  5. Petter, F. A. (1999). Reiki Fire: New information about the origins of the Reiki power. Twin Lakes, WI: Lotus Press.
  6. Becker, C. (2004). Reiki in clinical practice: A new paradigm in patient care. Complementary Therapies in Nursing & Midwifery, 10(3), 142–148.
  7. Stein, D. (2012). Essential Reiki teaching manual. Berkeley, CA: Crossing Press.
  8. Baldwin, A. L., Wagers, C., & Schwartz, G. E. (2008). Reiki improves heart rate homeostasis in laboratory rats. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 14(4), 417–422.
  9. Honervogt, T. (2002). Seichim and Reiki: Healing energy for the new millennium. London: Thorsons.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

Holding Space for Grief: What Helps, What Hurts

Holding Space for Grief: What Helps, What Hurts

Grief shows up in many forms, after death, divorce, disappointment, or even the quiet loss of a future we thought we’d have. When someone we care about is hurting, it’s natural to want to help. But often, the words we reach for can do more harm than good.

Over the years, I’ve experienced my share of deep losses, and along the way, I’ve also heard a few spectacularly unhelpful comments. Well-meaning, perhaps. But misplaced. This article isn’t about judgement. It’s about awareness. If you’ve ever wondered what to say (or not say) to someone grieving, here are some gentle truths I’ve learned, rooted in lived experience, professional insight, and a whole lot of listening.

Grief Isn’t a Problem to Solve

When someone is grieving, whether from the death of a loved one or the breakdown of a meaningful relationship, the last thing they need is to be told to cheer up or get over it. These phrases might be common, but they’re far from kind.

Grief is not a mindset to be fixed. It’s a process that reflects love, attachment, and human depth. The more significant the loss, the longer the integration. And integration, not “getting over it”,is what healing truly looks like (Neimeyer, 2000; Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). Because in truth, there is no “getting over” anything, not really. There is only getting through it, one breath, one memory, one moment at a time.

What Hurts: The Comments That Close the Heart

Here are a few things I’d gently suggest we retire from our vocabulary, especially when someone is hurting:

“Cheer up.” “You’ll just have to get over it.” “You’re just feeling sorry for yourself.” “Everything happens for a reason.” (Sometimes true, rarely helpful in the moment)

These comments, though sometimes offered with the intention of comfort, can feel invalidating and emotionally tone-deaf. They tend to shut people down rather than help them open up. They may even provoke anger, resentment, or withdrawal. As one person put it: “It made me want to give them a right hook.”

Why? Because when someone is grieving, they don’t need fixing. They need witnessing (Wolfelt, 2004).

What Helps: Listening, Presence, and Permission to Feel

Supporting someone in pain doesn’t require special training. You don’t need perfect words. You need your ears, to listen deeply without interruption or correction. Your presence, to let them know they’re not alone. Your arms, to offer a hug, if it’s welcome. That’s it.

Often, simply being with someone as they move through grief is the greatest gift you can give. When we speak our pain aloud, we begin to metabolise it. We don’t need answers, we need space. In fact, speaking allows a person to hear their own thoughts more clearly, and often, to reach their own realisations about what comes next. This is how true empowerment begins (Wolfelt, 2004; Neimeyer, 1999).

Grief Rewrites the Inner World

Grief often rewrites a person’s entire inner landscape. They may no longer feel like themselves. Their sleep may change, their appetite, their energy, their faith in others, or even in life itself. What looks like withdrawal might be someone simply trying to feel safe again in a world that no longer makes sense.

When we recognise that grief is not just emotional but cognitive, physiological, and spiritual, we can meet it with more compassion (Child and Youth Mental Health Service, 2009). Holding space isn’t just kindness, it’s allowing someone to reassemble their world without forcing a timeline.

Advice Isn’t Always Helpful, Even When It Comes From Love

Jumping in with advice, particularly when it’s not been asked for, can disempower the person who is grieving. Even if well-intentioned, it can feel like you’re steering their experience, rather than honouring it.

If you truly want to help someone move through pain, don’t rush to fix it. Don’t offer silver linings too quickly. Don’t confuse your discomfort with their need to be heard. Instead, you might try saying: “I’m here for you.” “This must be so hard, take your time.” “Would it help to talk, or would you prefer some quiet company?”

If they cry, hand them a tissue. Make a cuppa. Let them cry. Please don’t ask, “What’s wrong?”,because nothing is wrong. They’re grieving. They’re releasing. They’re healing (Beyond Blue, 2008).

Grief Isn’t Only About Death

It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t only follow death. It arises any time there is loss of identity, connection, or a sense of safety in the world. That includes: the end of relationships, the loss of a job or financial security, the death of a pet (which can be just as profound as losing a person), a major health diagnosis, moving homes or losing custody of children, the fallout from domestic violence, legal battles, or psychological trauma.

In family law especially, many people walk into a lawyer’s office having already lost so much, stability, trust, dreams for the future. What they need isn’t just legal advice. They need to feel seen as a whole human being.

Too often, lawyers are trained to focus solely on structure, precedent, and outcome. But when someone is living with the aftermath of emotional abuse, violence, or betrayal, those elements, while necessary, are not enough.

As someone who has worked across both legal and therapeutic systems, I offer this gentle reminder to those in the legal field: by the time someone reaches you, their world may have fallen apart. The trauma might not be visible, but it’s often sitting quietly in the room (Jigsaw Counselling, 2013).

You don’t need to be a counsellor. But you can be kind. You can listen just a little longer. You can avoid telling them to “move on” or “stay calm” before you’ve truly heard them out. You can refer them to trauma-informed professionals if they’re struggling to cope.

Your compassion may not be billable time, but it can be unforgettable. Trauma-informed presence matters more than polished technique. You don’t need to have the “right” words, you just need to be safe. Safety isn’t created by silence or solutions; it’s created by consistency, non-judgment, and allowing the person to be exactly where they are. For many, especially those experiencing PTSD, being heard without being redirected or doubted can be the most healing experience of all (Levine, 2010; van der Kolk, 2014).

Different People, Different Grief

Not everyone grieves the same way. Some cry openly, others go quiet. Some seek company, others solitude. Cultural background, personality, upbringing, and trauma history all shape how we move through loss. It’s important we don’t judge someone’s grief by how it looks. Stillness can hold oceans. And silence, sometimes, is survival (Walmsley, 2006).

Grief That Has No Name

Some grief isn’t obvious, like the grief of never having had what one needed. Or the grief that stacks silently after repeated change, instability, or systemic oppression. This is sometimes called disenfranchised grief or ambiguous loss, and it can be just as real and just as painful (Boss, 1999). We must create space for grief in all its forms, not just the ones that come with flowers and casseroles.

Let’s Talk About Bereavement Leave

It still stuns me that most workplace bereavement leave offers just three days, as if losing a child, partner, or parent is a brief interruption to your schedule, rather than a rupture to your entire existence. The expectation to return to “normal” so quickly speaks to how poorly grief is understood in our systems. It’s not just unfair, it’s cruel. Grievers need flexibility, support, and permission to be human. Anything less isn’t productivity, it’s trauma on top of trauma.

If You Are the One Grieving, Please Know This

You are not broken. You are not too sensitive. You are not behind. You are simply walking through the valley of loss. You don’t need to hurry. You don’t need to pretend. There is wisdom in your slowness. There is dignity in your pain. You are already healing, just by feeling.

Final Thoughts: Grief is Not a Detour, It’s a Doorway

We tend to treat grief like an interruption to normal life. But really, it’s a powerful, transformational part of it. So next time someone close to you is hurting, ask yourself: Can I be still enough to let them feel? Can I resist the urge to fix or judge? Can I offer presence, even when it’s messy?

In a world that often rushes past pain, being willing to stay, with honesty and heart, might be the most radical act of kindness we can offer.

Whether you are the one grieving, or the one standing beside someone in grief, thank you for caring. May we all become gentler with what we cannot see. And braver in how we hold one another through the sacred work of being human.

Written by Cheryl O’Connor (originally 2018, revised 2025)
Author | Artist | Holistic Counsellor | Social Worker
Exploring where structure meets soul , through law, healing, and symbolic art.

References

Beyond Blue. (2008). Grief, loss and depression. https://www.beyondblue.org.au
Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief. Harvard University Press.
Child and Youth Mental Health Service. (2009). Grief and loss fact sheet. Queensland Health.
Jigsaw Counselling. (2013). CHCCS426B Provide support and care relating to grief and loss assessment (V1).
Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving. Scribner.
Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books.
Neimeyer, R. A. (1999). Narrative strategies in grief therapy. Journal of Constructivist Psychology, 12(1), 65–85.
Neimeyer, R. A. (2000). Lessons of loss: A guide to coping. McGraw-Hill.
Walmsley, R. (2006). The grief workbook. Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service.
Wolfelt, A. D. (2004). Understanding your grief. Companion Press.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score. Viking.

© Cheryl O’Connor (Cheoco) 2025. All rights reserved.
This article reflects personal experience, professional insight, and research-based knowledge.
Please share only with full credit and a link back to www.cheoco.com. Not intended as a substitute for professional advice.

Breathe, Feel, Heal: Remembering the Wisdom Within

“Dreamtime visions speak to me of the truth within,

Wisdom, Healing & Knowledge of Self to me they bring,

Helping me to know the true essence of my Soul,

enabling me to consciously experience

I AM …. One with the Whole.”

There is a life force running through all things. Some call it God, Spirit, Nature, Love, or Universal Energy. The name is less important than the feeling it brings and the healing it makes possible. When we remember this force, we begin to remember who we truly are.

For me, this energy first introduced itself through Reiki and later deepened with Seichim—two distinct yet connected frequencies of the same sacred current. Reiki is often associated with the Japanese lineage, while Seichim flows from Ancient Egypt, through the teachings of Sekhem and the energy of the fierce and compassionate goddesses Sekhmet and Kwan Yin.

Where Reiki is the wave flowing in, Seichim is the wave flowing out. Together, they form a complete cycle of energetic restoration.

A Multi-Layered Being

This healing work finds deep resonance with the Anthroposophical perspective of Rudolf Steiner, which sees the human being as a fourfold being:

  • Physical Body: The visible body, a map of our accumulated experiences and emotions.
  • Etheric Body (Energy Body): The life or breath body, responsible for vitality, healing, and rhythm. It thrives on sleep, air, water, nutrition, and nature.
  • Astral Body: The seat of memory and emotion. When the etheric is weakened, the astral can push through into the physical and cause dis-ease.
  • Core Self or “I AM”: The indwelling essence of who we truly are – divine, wise, and whole. This is not a “higher” self-perched on some pedestal, but the deepest truth of our being, right here, embodied. The notion of a “higher” self can often reinforce hierarchical thinking rooted in outdated paradigms. In truth, we are not reaching upward, we are remembering inward.

Further expanded by Barbara Brennan, this system includes seven energetic layers beyond the physical—each interpenetrating the other:

  1. Physical Body
  2. Etheric Body
  3. Emotional Body
  4. Mental Body
  5. Astral Body
  6. Etheric Template
  7. Celestial Body
  8. Ketheric Template

Each is linked to a chakra and vibrates at a unique frequency. Some healers also experience more than the standard seven chakras.

Blockages, Breath and the Map of the Body

In Reiki, Seichim, and Body-Based Counselling alike, imbalance and illness are seen to originate from energetic blockages—areas where life force energy cannot flow due to past trauma, grief, fear, suppressed emotions, or limiting beliefs. These imprints are stored in the subtle layers surrounding and entering the body.

When breath and awareness are consciously brought into these wounded areas, subconscious memories surface, and with them, release. In this process comes healing, insight, and a return to flow.

Brennan observed, “Illness is a result of imbalance, and imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are.” Others such as Baginski and Sharamon see symptoms as messages needing to be heard, accepted, and integrated before true healing can occur.

While approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) may assist some individuals in reframing thoughts and behaviours, they often stay in the mental realm. Deep transformation, however, often requires feeling, not just thinking. Jamie Sams says to feel is to heal. When emotion is acknowledged and expressed, the energy that has been held or suppressed is free to move again.

The Healing Power of Breath

When our bodies become stressed from pressure or anxiety, the adrenal glands release adrenaline. This hormone increases our heart rate to prepare for a fight-or-flight response. While this is a natural survival mechanism, it has side effects—particularly on the breath.

When we are anxious, our breathing becomes shallow. This reduces oxygen intake and can lead to fatigue, panic attacks, emotional distress, headaches, muscle tension, and even exacerbate conditions like PTSD.

Breath is life. It delivers oxygen to our cells and removes carbon dioxide, a key toxin. You can live without food or water for a time—but without oxygen, only minutes. Breath is also how we move life force energy. When pain is present, intentional breath can ease it. As infants and children, we naturally breathed into our bellies. But over time, many of us begin to breathe only into the upper chest, especially under stress.

Chest breathing results in irregular, rapid breaths. This reduces oxygen flow and limits the body’s ability to exhale toxins. The result? Fatigue, anxiety, and disconnection. The good news is: this pattern can be unlearned.

The Benefits of Cyclic Deep Breathing

  • Stimulates the lymphatic system, aiding detox and healing.
  • Strengthens immunity by supporting the body’s self-healing capacity.
  • Balances brain hemispheres and calms the nervous system.
  • Reduces anxiety and helps regulate emotional response.
  • Can be practiced anywhere, at any time, with no tools required.

A Gentle Word on Limitations

If you have asthma or another respiratory condition, cyclic breathing may not be appropriate. Please seek medical advice before practicing.

What Is Cyclic Breathing?

Cyclic breathing is a technique to calm the body and mind during times of stress, anxiety, or fear. One simple and accessible method is based on the Ho‘oponopono rhythm:

  1. Sit comfortably, feet on the ground. Place your hands on your lap or your belly.
  2. Notice your breath, just as it is.
  3. Then begin to breathe in for a count of seven.
  4. Hold for a count of seven.
  5. Exhale for a count of seven.
  6. Hold again for seven.

This is one round. Repeat it seven times.

You may also modify the count to suit your capacity. For example:

  • Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 3, hold for 3.
  • Or: Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 5, hold for 5.

Breathe slowly and gently, always staying within your comfort zone.

With consistent practice, abdominal breathing becomes natural again. You’ll notice your belly rising and falling as you breathe—just as it did when you were a child.

To support this, try practicing three times a day, or as needed. Repetition is key. Studies suggest it takes around 21 to 30 days to form a new habit. But the benefit is lasting: your body begins to remember the way home.

Enter, Exit, Behold: The Body Speaks

Body-Based Counselling draws on these same principles, using methods that access subconscious information directly through the body. Artistic therapies such as:

  • Clay work
  • Watercolour painting
  • Movement and gesture
  • Colour exploration

These tools bypass the analytical mind. Through simple yet profound methods like Enter, Exit, Behold, clients can step into a bodily sensation or pain, observe what wisdom it carries, and exit with the insight and resource needed for integration, without being overwhelmed or re-traumatised by the original emotion.

This process allows even unspoken or inexpressible emotions to be seen, shaped, and shifted. Pain takes form in clay. Breath is freed through movement. Colour returns to drawings that once looked lifeless. The intangible becomes tangible. Healing begins.

Real Lives, Real Healing

Here are a few examples that reflect the potency of these approaches:

  • A woman preparing for breast surgery received six sessions while also working with a naturopath. Just before the operation, scans revealed that the lumps had vanished.
  • A pregnant woman, leaking fluid after a medical procedure, came to me in a vision asking for help. I sent healing and saw the hole in the sac close. Two weeks later, she had stabilised.
  • A newborn boy with lung issues was hospitalised. After a brief hands-on healing session, he was released the next day. He later grew into a healthy twelve-year-old.
  • I lived with knee pain for seventeen years after a traumatic accident. Following my Reiki and Seichim attunement, I released grief I didn’t even know I was carrying. The pain disappeared.

The Counsellor’s Role

Just like with energy healing, true transformation in counselling comes when the client is ready and willing. The counsellor or practitioner simply creates a safe and sacred space, offers guidance, and teaches tools. But the work, the choice, the healing, comes from within.

Permission is essential. Unless a person asks, the energy cannot flow to them. Healing respects free will. When someone is ready and willing to receive, the field opens. Our role is to hold the space — not to push or fix, but to witness and support.

We do not fix. We empower. We do not impose. We invite.

Signs of Change

Change reveals itself in many ways: a client enters hunched, disconnected, anxious. After the session, they stand taller, breathe deeper, feel lighter. Art becomes more vibrant. Clay forms soften. Colour returns to the canvas. Their posture changes. So does their presence.

That is healing. That is remembering.

“The energy knows the way. All it needs is your yes.”

Video, Phone and Email Consultations Available
www.cheoco.wordpress.com
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au
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© Cheryl O’Connor 2025

Images sourced from the internet – sources unknown.

THE WISDOM HIDDEN IN FAIRY TALES

More Than Bedtime Stories

Most people think of fairy tales as sweet bedtime stories for children, pleasant little fables to pass the time before sleep. But when we look beneath the surface, their layers of meaning open like a map, guiding us through the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.

The Forest and the Journey

In almost every classic tale, the storyline begins the same way: a young soul leaves “home”, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and ventures into the wider world. Along the way, they face trials and temptations: witches and wolves, dragons and goblins, wicked stepmothers and treacherous strangers. They may be imprisoned, lost in the forest, or lulled into a deep sleep.

The forest is one of the most enduring symbols in fairy tales. It is not simply scenery, but a living teacher. To enter the dark forest is to step into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar and the safe. It is here that old identities are stripped away, and we must learn to trust a deeper compass of soul. Every shadow and every clearing becomes a guide, showing us that what looks like confusion or danger is also the fertile ground of transformation. Rivers, storms, mountains, and caves serve the same role, thresholds that reshape us if we dare to enter.

Yet, just as often, help arrives, through animals, elemental beings, wise old helpers, or mysterious friends. And when they finally “return home,” they are not the same as when they left. For home is not a physical place at all, it is a return to one’s true self. The journey strips us bare, tests our faith, and teaches us who we really are.

It is important to remember these stories were never meant to be harmless diversions. Long before they were bound in books, fairy tales lived as oral traditions, told around firesides to transmit wisdom, warnings, and hope. They were teaching maps, guiding communities through danger, instinct, resilience, and transformation.

Villains, Helpers and Thresholds

And those so-called “villains”? I do not see them as villains at all. Patriarchy turned them into shadows, wolves, witches, dragons, fearsome figures to frighten us away from their power. But really, it is our own power they mirror back to us: instinct, intuition, raw life force, and the ability to transform. When we meet these figures within, we reclaim parts of ourselves long suppressed. The Witch becomes the Crone, carrying wisdom for thresholds and endings. The Wolf becomes a fierce protector of boundaries. And the Dragon? The Dragon is the guardian of our own inner treasure and power, waiting for us to grow strong enough to step forward and claim it.

Fairy tales also remind us of endings. Sometimes people leave our lives through choice, distance, or even death. As painful as this is, symbolically it may reflect a deeper truth: their energy is no longer aligned with where we are on our journey. In this way, every loss is also a threshold, one that asks us to meet more of ourselves, to grow into new awareness, and to walk forward carrying what was true in love.

Fairy tales remind us too that help often comes in overlooked forms. A talking bird, a humble servant, or a creature of the wild may hold the key to survival. The “simpleton,” mocked for being foolish, is often the one who succeeds where others fail, precisely because they trust what is small, quiet, or easily dismissed. These tales teach us that wisdom rarely arrives dressed in the power we expect. It slips in through the ordinary, reminding us that the sacred hides in plain sight.

Windows, Mirrors and Doorways

Windows, mirrors, and doorways are some of the ways life shows us these Selves. A window may let us see through to where another is truly coming from or reflect ourselves back depending on the angle of light. A mirror shows us our own reflection, sometimes sharply, sometimes kindly. And a doorway? That is the threshold another offers us into a new awareness. Often, whatever we see in another exists within us too, otherwise how could we see it? Some mirror to us where we are presently at and others where we have been at some point in time. Often, in any one interaction, all three roles are present at once. These are not accidents, they are guides.

The True Happily Ever After

Just like the characters in these tales, many of us spend years searching outside ourselves for happiness. We might long for “one true love” to sweep us away, believing they will complete us. And for a while, it might feel like they do. But no matter how romantic the promise, no person can be our everything, especially when we have yet to become that for ourselves.

This is where so many of us misunderstood the “happily ever after.” Disney did not exactly sell us a lie, rather, our culture mistranslated the deeper truth. Long before Disney, the tales themselves were pointing inward. The Prince and Princess were never really about someone else rescuing us. They are symbols of our own inner masculine and feminine. But growing up in a patriarchal system, we were taught to externalise everything: happiness, success, love, even salvation. No wonder so many felt or feel disillusioned when the promise did not hold.

When we look symbolically, the “kiss” that wakes the sleeping one is not about romance at all. It is about awakening, when our masculine energy of logic and clarity meets our feminine energy of intuition and creativity. In that inner union, something comes alive. Balance is restored. We no longer need someone else to complete us, though we may share life with another from a place of wholeness. This is the true happily ever after.

Every fairy tale also carries the rhythm of life itself, descent and return, death and rebirth, endings and beginnings. Sleeping Beauty is not just about a princess in slumber; it is about the necessity of rest and renewal before awakening to new life. Snow White’s glass coffin mirrors the suspended state we sometimes find ourselves in, when part of us has died but the rebirth has not yet arrived. To live consciously is to honour these cycles rather than resist them, recognising that every ending makes space for a new beginning.

The Hero Has Always Been Us

At the heart of it all, every fairy tale whispers the same truth: the hero has always been us. The dangers, helpers, and transformations we read about are mirrors of our own trials and triumphs. The quest is not about rescuing or being rescued, it is about remembering who we truly are. And in the end, to “return home” is to return to that true self, whole, awake, and fully alive.

When a child asks for a story, it may be the soul’s way of speaking, theirs, and yours. Children often choose the very tale that carries the medicine both need to hear. A bedtime request can be far more than whimsy; it can be a mirror of the family’s journey, a whisper of what the soul is trying to surface. In this way, our children become our teachers, reminding us of the truths we may have forgotten.

But we cannot hear these truths if our minds are always noisy. When we chatter constantly, whether in our heads or with our mouths, we block the whispers of Soul and nature wisdom. We need stillness. We need silence. As the saying goes: “When we speak, we only repeat what we know. When we listen, we may learn something new.”

For all of us, no matter our profession or path, this symbolic lens matters. We may find ourselves trapped in a “sleeping spell” of grief, stalked by a “wolf” of fear, or longing for the “helper” who reminds us of our strength and true nature. Fairy tales can be bridges, helping us name our inner landscapes in ways that ordinary language cannot.

The original tales of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen hold far more than quaint moral lessons. They speak to the courage, faith, and trust needed to walk through life’s dark forests and return with wisdom. And they remind us that when a child asks for a certain story, it may be speaking directly to your soul as much as theirs, holding a mirror to where you are on your own journey.

After all, the so-called “real world” is itself the greatest fairy tale of all, an unfolding adventure, full of shadows and helpers, mirrors and doorways, dragons and wolves, Crone wisdom and childlike wonder. And the ending? Well, that is always up to us.

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✨ Reflective Questions

  • Which “villain” or shadow figure, Wolf, Witch, Dragon, feels most alive for you right now? What part of your own power might they be guarding?

  • When was the last time you found yourself standing at a symbolic window, mirror, or doorway? What did it show you about yourself?

  • In what ways are you seeking “happily ever after” outside yourself, and how might you turn inward to find it instead?

  • Where in your life could stillness or silence help you hear what the story of your own soul is trying to say?

  • As the hero has always been you, what chapter of your journey are you living through right now?

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📚 Recommended Reading

On the Feminine, the Crone, and Women’s Stories

  • Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, Jean Shinoda Bolen

  • The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power, Barbara G. Walker

On the Masculine & Feminine Archetypes

  • King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

  • The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock (a counterpart to Campbell’s Hero’s Journey)

  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

On Fairy Tales & Symbolism

  • The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, Bruno Bettelheim

  • Iron John: A Book About Men, Robert Bly (draws from Grimm’s tales)

  • Baba Yaga’s Assistant, Marika McCoola (a modern take on the old witch archetype)

On Myth, Archetypes & Shadow Work

  • Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, Robert A. Johnson

  • The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

On Dragons, Treasure, and Inner Power

  • Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity, Robert L. Moore

  • The Dragon’s Treasure: A Dreamer’s Guide to Inner Discovery, Tian Dayton

  • The Book of Dragons, Edith Nesbit (for a lighter, symbolic entry point)

On Silence, Listening & Stillness

  • The Sacred Embrace of Listening, Kay Lindahl

  • Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson (includes silence as a transformative practice)

© Cheryl O’Connor, 1995, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

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