Trauma

Ancient Energy, Living Healing

The Origins, History, and Benefits of Reiki and Seichim

Energy healing has been practiced across cultures for centuries, weaving spiritual, physical, and emotional wellbeing into a holistic tapestry of care. Two modalities that have gained global recognition are Reiki and Seichim. Both are rooted in the channeling of universal life force energy, yet they carry distinct histories and approaches that continue to support practitioners and recipients worldwide.

The Origins of Reiki

Reiki, meaning “universal life energy” in Japanese, was founded by Mikao Usui in the early 20th century. Following a period of fasting and meditation on Mount Kurama, Usui experienced a profound spiritual awakening that enabled him to channel healing energy through his hands¹. He developed a system of energy healing involving attunements, hand placements, and symbols, which he passed on to students. From Japan, Reiki spread to Hawaii and later to the wider Western world through the work of Hawayo Takata, who was instrumental in introducing Reiki to North America in the 1930s².

The Origins of Seichim

Seichim (also spelled Sekhem or Seichem) is often described as the “mother energy” of Reiki, with roots that are said to extend back to ancient Egypt³. Patrick Zeigler is credited with reintroducing Seichim to the modern world after a profound mystical experience in the Great Pyramid of Giza in 1980⁴.

Seichim carries both fierce and compassionate aspects. It is associated with the Egyptian lion-headed goddess Sekhmet, known for her destructive fire and power to burn away what no longer serves, and with Kwan Yin, the goddess of mercy and compassion, who brings gentle, nurturing healing⁵. Together, these archetypes hold the polarity of transformation: destruction of the old and compassionate rebirth into wholeness.

My Journey with Reiki and Seichim

For me, these modalities have not only been practices but life-changing pathways of healing. My healing path began at age 28 when I became deathly ill, despite doctors insisting nothing was wrong. In my 30s, I began attunements in Reiki and Seichim. Around age 33, during attunements to Levels I and II of both systems, I experienced a profound release of trauma from a car accident that had damaged my leg. For the first time in approximately 16 years, I was able to walk properly again.

In 1999, I became a Reiki Master, and in 2000, a Seichim Master. The experience of this deep healing, and the unfolding that followed, is shared in my book The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation (available here).

The History and Spread

Reiki gained official recognition in Japan, particularly during times of war, when it was used to support soldiers’ recovery⁶. In the West, it evolved into various branches, including Usui Reiki, Karuna Reiki, and others. Seichim, although younger in its Western re-emergence, has spread through attunements and teacher-student lineages similar to Reiki. Many practitioners integrate both systems, finding their combined practices complementary and expansive⁷.

Benefits of Reiki and Seichim

Reiki and Seichim work together like two waves of energy. Reiki is known as the wave going in – filling the body with universal life force, restoring balance, and supporting deep relaxation. Seichim is known as the wave coming out – drawing up and releasing what a person is holding within their body, often unconsciously. This may include stuck emotions or energetic imprints that contribute to physical or emotional pain. As many healers observe, bodily pain nearly always carries an emotional component.

Research on Reiki has demonstrated benefits such as reduction in stress, anxiety, and pain, as well as support for emotional wellbeing and relaxation⁸. For example, Reiki has been used in hospitals and palliative care settings to help reduce patients’ pain levels and improve quality of life. Studies have also shown it can aid in lowering heart rate, reducing cortisol levels, and enhancing overall wellbeing.

Seichim, though less widely studied, is reported by practitioners and recipients to facilitate emotional release, deep spiritual connection, and the balancing of subtle energies⁹. Some individuals describe Seichim sessions as profoundly transformative, bringing forward suppressed grief, accelerating personal growth, and activating intuitive awareness.

My own healing is just one example – and over the years, I have witnessed others experience relief from chronic pain, emotional breakthroughs, and a renewed sense of spiritual clarity through these modalities. Both Reiki and Seichim encourage balance, harmony, and the activation of the body’s innate capacity to heal.

Distance Healing

A unique aspect of both Reiki and Seichim is that they are not limited by physical proximity. Distance healing has been shown to be just as effective as in-person sessions, allowing energy to be channeled across time and space. Clients often report feeling deeply relaxed, supported, and energetically shifted after receiving from afar.

At present, I am offering distance healing sessions only. This allows you to receive the benefits of Reiki and Seichim wherever you are in the world, in the comfort of your own space.

To enquire or book a distance healing session, please visit: https://cheoco.net/booking-payment/

Conclusion

Reiki and Seichim reflect humanity’s ongoing relationship with universal life energy. Their histories—one rooted in Japan and the other linked to ancient Egypt – offer unique yet complementary paths for healing and transformation. Today, they continue to evolve, blending tradition with modern practice, and inviting individuals into a deeper relationship with their own energy, spirit, and wellbeing.

About the Author

Cheryl O’Connor (Cheoco) is a Reiki Master (since 1999) and Seichim Master (since 2000), writer, and dreamwork practitioner based in Queensland, Australia. Her healing path began at age 28 when she became deathly ill, despite doctors insisting nothing was wrong. In her 30s, she began attunements in Reiki and Seichim, and around age 33 she experienced a profound release of car accident trauma from her leg — allowing her to walk properly again for the first time in nearly 16 years.

Cheryl shares this transformation in her book The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation (available here). Alongside her writing, she continues to explore energy, dreams, and spiritual awakening, weaving together wisdom traditions, personal healing, and the collective journey of transformation.

References

  1. Hiroshi, D. (1997). The Reiki Handbook: Traditional Usui Reiki methods. Tokyo: Reiki Institute.
  2. Rand, W. L. (2011). Reiki: The healing touch. Southfield, MI: Vision Publications.
  3. Barnett, S., & Chambers, T. (1996). Healing energy: Unlocking the secrets of Reiki and Seichim. London: Aquarian Press.
  4. Zeigler, P. (1984). Seichim: The doorway to ancient healing wisdom. Giza: Pyramid Press.
  5. Petter, F. A. (1999). Reiki Fire: New information about the origins of the Reiki power. Twin Lakes, WI: Lotus Press.
  6. Becker, C. (2004). Reiki in clinical practice: A new paradigm in patient care. Complementary Therapies in Nursing & Midwifery, 10(3), 142–148.
  7. Stein, D. (2012). Essential Reiki teaching manual. Berkeley, CA: Crossing Press.
  8. Baldwin, A. L., Wagers, C., & Schwartz, G. E. (2008). Reiki improves heart rate homeostasis in laboratory rats. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 14(4), 417–422.
  9. Honervogt, T. (2002). Seichim and Reiki: Healing energy for the new millennium. London: Thorsons.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

The Shattering of Trust: What Happens When Love Turns Unrecognisable

On Truth & Sovereignty

Dishonesty doesn’t just withhold information; it disrupts our ability to act from conscious awareness. It undermines our sovereignty. When we’re denied truth, we’re left making decisions based on partial realities, often manipulated by someone else’s narrative. It’s like walking through a fog someone else created.

Truth may sting, but dishonesty chains. One liberates; the other entangles. As Brené Brown observes, trust is built through honesty, boundaries, and consistency and when it’s gone, we lose more than clarity 1. We lose our sense of stability and self-trust.1

And the soul always knows.

Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone you loved and trusted, only to feel like you were staring into the face of a stranger? It’s a haunting kind of grief. When someone you’ve spent time (potentially years) loving, supporting, and feeling safe with suddenly turns, without warning or explanation, into someone unrecognisable, the rupture can shake you to your core.

When Trust Shatters

In the aftermath, impossible questions surface.

Did I unknowingly trigger a wound too deep to be healed? Did I get too close and activate a protective response? Were they ever truly themselves, or was it always a mask that finally slipped? Perhaps most painfully: What does this say about me?

As Bessel van der Kolk explains, when the relational foundation we’ve depended on crumbles, our nervous system reacts as though we’re under threat. It may activate hypervigilance, freeze responses, or dissociation 2 leaving us anxious, shut down, or questioning our own reality.

Without clear communication, we’re left with guesswork. The mind spins, “maybe it was this, maybe it was that”, but deep down, we know. The body knows. The intuition knows and ultimately all we can truly trust is our intuition, even when the mind wants or hopes to believe otherwise.

Coping or Reclaiming

So what do we do when trust breaks?

Some harden. They vow never to trust again. Others build walls so high no one can climb them, not even themselves. Many turn to coping strategies, overthinking, self-silencing, numbing, or doubting their worth. Gabor Maté reminds us that these patterns, while protective, often come at a cost to our emotional and physical wellbeing. 3

When we suppress pain to maintain connection, we betray ourselves.

And yet, betrayal can serve as a teacher. Terry Real suggests that relational pain often becomes a gateway to transformation. While one person learns the cost of disconnection, the other may reclaim their voice, their clarity, their truth. 4

When deception enters the field, both souls receive lessons.

For the one who hides truth, the lesson is clear: dishonesty costs more than it gains (usually the relationship). What once seemed like a clever avoidance ends up breaking the very thing they hoped to protect, connection, respect, intimacy and trust.

For the one on the receiving end of the lie or betrayal, the gift is sovereignty. To see clearly. To feel the fracture and still remain standing. To declare silently a firm boundary of truth or nothing. One learns the cost of deceit. The other embodies the power of truth.

The pain of betrayal can sharpen our ability to notice red flags sooner or sense when something doesn’t add up. Harriet Lerner encourages us to reclaim our voice after rupture, not through confrontation alone, but by choosing clarity, boundaries, and grounded presence. 5 Still, trust, once broken, rarely returns to its original form.

The Sacred Fracture

To me, trust is like a porcelain plate, fragile, beautiful, and meaningful. But once smashed, it never feels the same, no matter how carefully you piece it back together. And yet, there’s something sacred in the fracture. Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold, reminds us that the cracks are part of our story. They don’t need to be hidden. They can shine. Because we are not broken. We are remade. Wiser. Clearer. And more sovereign than ever before.

Reflection invitation: Where in your life are you choosing sovereignty over illusion? And can you trust yourself enough to follow through?

References

1. Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Random House.

2. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

3. Maté, G. (2003). When the body says no: Exploring the stress-disease connection. Vintage Canada.

4. Real, T. (2022). Us: Getting past you and me to build a more loving relationship. Cornerstone.

5. Lerner, H. (2001). The dance of connection: How to talk to someone when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed, or desperate. HarperCollins.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2020 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

Nocturnal Communion:

When the Dream Lover Comes Bearing Fire

“Dreamtime lover comes to me,
helping me to clearly see
all I truly need to know—
your love for me you always show.

Guiding me to do what’s right,
giving me strength and insight.
Physically separate but living as One,
teaching me what needs to be done.

Knowing our love only grows and can never end,
as you assist me gradually to my Self mend.”

Have you ever woken with your body humming, breath quickened, heart strangely full? A dream so vivid, it left you aching—or glowing—with something you couldn’t quite name?

So many whisper it quietly:
“I had the most intense dream last night… but I can’t tell you. It’s too much.”

But I say, tell me everything. Because these dreams? They are sacred. They’re not just about sex. They are about energy. Integration. Memory. Reclamation.

We give this energy so many names: sexual energy, creative energy, Kundalini, God, Goddess, Great Spirit, Divine Union, Reiki, Seichim, Universal Life Force. But they are all rivers feeding the same source – the wild current of life itself. And its most ecstatic, alchemical expression? Orgasm. There’s a reason we cry out “Oh God” in those moments of deep pleasure. It’s not blasphemy. It’s a soul-deep remembering.

In dreams, anything becomes possible. We may find ourselves in the arms of a stranger, a past lover, someone we’ve never touched in waking life, but who feels as familiar as our own breath. Sometimes we merge with spirit beings, ancestors, archetypes. The forms may be surreal, symbolic, or shapeshifting, because dream lovers aren’t always literal, they’re invitations.

Invitations to reunite with soul threads. To embody the Lover, the Serpent, the Priestess, the Healer. To meet ourselves in forms we’ve long silenced or disowned. Often, it’s not about the person at all, but what they represent. Power. Passion. Tenderness. Permission. The dream body remembers what the waking mind forgets.

And let’s name the deeper truth now: soul-level communion is real. These dreams don’t always stay contained in the psyche. Sometimes, they’re shared experiences. If you’re thinking of someone with strong emotion, longing, desire, even grief, that thought becomes energy. It moves. It reaches. And if the other is attuned to you, they may feel it. Not as a conscious thought, but as a subtle frequency. A stirring in the night. A dream they can’t quite shake.

This is the intelligence of the soul field. Where time and space dissolve. Where lovers remember each other through the veil.

These dreams often arrive during times of emotional or energetic opening. When we’re grieving, creatively blocked, repressing desire, or navigating a threshold, these dreams come as messengers. They bring healing. They activate dormant parts of the body. They offer closure, clarity, confirmation. They reignite our connection to joy, to power, to the sacred yes of aliveness.

Even dream-orgasms, yes, they’re real, can be profoundly healing. Especially if touch, pleasure, or intimacy has been absent in waking life. And yet so many carry shame. They wake from these dreams wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” Especially if the imagery was strange, forbidden, or “inappropriate.” But erotic dreams don’t come to shame us, they come to liberate us.

We’ve all dreamt of partners we wouldn’t choose in the light of day, same-sex lovers, celebrities, even people from our past we’d rather forget. But dreams are symbolic. They’re the soul’s poetry. They speak in images, sensations, and metaphor. And they ask us not to judge, but to listen.

What part of me does this represent?
What wants to be felt, healed, or reintegrated?
What am I being invited to remember?

Erotic dreams are not just about sex. They’re about wholeness. They’re about power reclaimed. They’re about love, sometimes for another, often for the self. And sometimes, they are simply about joy. And that, too, is sacred. So next time your dream lover comes bearing fire, welcome them. Feel what wants to be felt. Honour what wants to be healed. And if you wake with tears, a sigh, or a sweet ache that lingers into the day, know this:

It wasn’t just a dream.
It was a remembering.

📚 Further Reading & Exploration

  1. Robert Moss – Conscious Dreaming
    On dream travel, soul connection, and shared dreaming experiences.
  2. Barbara Brennan – Hands of Light
    A classic text on energy fields, cords, and how emotion/thought affects others.
  3. Anodea Judith – Wheels of Life
    A deep dive into chakras, creative/sexual energy, and inner integration.
  4. Toko-pa Turner – Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home
    On the sacred art of dreamwork and returning to the soul’s truth.
  5. Clarissa Pinkola Estés – Women Who Run With the Wolves
    Archetypal stories that explore feminine psyche, longing, and reclamation.
  6. Mantak Chia – The Multi-Orgasmic Man/Woman
    Taoist teachings on sexual energy as sacred and transformative force.
  7. Rupert Sheldrake – Morphic Resonance
    A scientific view of non-local connection and shared fields of experience.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2014 & 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

•*´☾☆☽`*•

‪🌿 Explore more of my writing, creations, and soul-guided offerings at:

cheoco.net

📖 Read my book, The Promise: A Story of Love & Transformation
Download here

💫 Connect with me on Facebook:
facebook.com/cheococreates

🌕 Ever had a dream that left your soul stirred and your body buzzing?
I’d love to hear. Drop a note in the comments or share this with someone who dreams in symbols too.

Breathe, Feel, Heal: Remembering the Wisdom Within

“Dreamtime visions speak to me of the truth within,

Wisdom, Healing & Knowledge of Self to me they bring,

Helping me to know the true essence of my Soul,

enabling me to consciously experience

I AM …. One with the Whole.”

There is a life force running through all things. Some call it God, Spirit, Nature, Love, or Universal Energy. The name is less important than the feeling it brings and the healing it makes possible. When we remember this force, we begin to remember who we truly are.

For me, this energy first introduced itself through Reiki and later deepened with Seichim—two distinct yet connected frequencies of the same sacred current. Reiki is often associated with the Japanese lineage, while Seichim flows from Ancient Egypt, through the teachings of Sekhem and the energy of the fierce and compassionate goddesses Sekhmet and Kwan Yin.

Where Reiki is the wave flowing in, Seichim is the wave flowing out. Together, they form a complete cycle of energetic restoration.

A Multi-Layered Being

This healing work finds deep resonance with the Anthroposophical perspective of Rudolf Steiner, which sees the human being as a fourfold being:

  • Physical Body: The visible body, a map of our accumulated experiences and emotions.
  • Etheric Body (Energy Body): The life or breath body, responsible for vitality, healing, and rhythm. It thrives on sleep, air, water, nutrition, and nature.
  • Astral Body: The seat of memory and emotion. When the etheric is weakened, the astral can push through into the physical and cause dis-ease.
  • Core Self or “I AM”: The indwelling essence of who we truly are – divine, wise, and whole. This is not a “higher” self-perched on some pedestal, but the deepest truth of our being, right here, embodied. The notion of a “higher” self can often reinforce hierarchical thinking rooted in outdated paradigms. In truth, we are not reaching upward, we are remembering inward.

Further expanded by Barbara Brennan, this system includes seven energetic layers beyond the physical—each interpenetrating the other:

  1. Physical Body
  2. Etheric Body
  3. Emotional Body
  4. Mental Body
  5. Astral Body
  6. Etheric Template
  7. Celestial Body
  8. Ketheric Template

Each is linked to a chakra and vibrates at a unique frequency. Some healers also experience more than the standard seven chakras.

Blockages, Breath and the Map of the Body

In Reiki, Seichim, and Body-Based Counselling alike, imbalance and illness are seen to originate from energetic blockages—areas where life force energy cannot flow due to past trauma, grief, fear, suppressed emotions, or limiting beliefs. These imprints are stored in the subtle layers surrounding and entering the body.

When breath and awareness are consciously brought into these wounded areas, subconscious memories surface, and with them, release. In this process comes healing, insight, and a return to flow.

Brennan observed, “Illness is a result of imbalance, and imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are.” Others such as Baginski and Sharamon see symptoms as messages needing to be heard, accepted, and integrated before true healing can occur.

While approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) may assist some individuals in reframing thoughts and behaviours, they often stay in the mental realm. Deep transformation, however, often requires feeling, not just thinking. Jamie Sams says to feel is to heal. When emotion is acknowledged and expressed, the energy that has been held or suppressed is free to move again.

The Healing Power of Breath

When our bodies become stressed from pressure or anxiety, the adrenal glands release adrenaline. This hormone increases our heart rate to prepare for a fight-or-flight response. While this is a natural survival mechanism, it has side effects—particularly on the breath.

When we are anxious, our breathing becomes shallow. This reduces oxygen intake and can lead to fatigue, panic attacks, emotional distress, headaches, muscle tension, and even exacerbate conditions like PTSD.

Breath is life. It delivers oxygen to our cells and removes carbon dioxide, a key toxin. You can live without food or water for a time—but without oxygen, only minutes. Breath is also how we move life force energy. When pain is present, intentional breath can ease it. As infants and children, we naturally breathed into our bellies. But over time, many of us begin to breathe only into the upper chest, especially under stress.

Chest breathing results in irregular, rapid breaths. This reduces oxygen flow and limits the body’s ability to exhale toxins. The result? Fatigue, anxiety, and disconnection. The good news is: this pattern can be unlearned.

The Benefits of Cyclic Deep Breathing

  • Stimulates the lymphatic system, aiding detox and healing.
  • Strengthens immunity by supporting the body’s self-healing capacity.
  • Balances brain hemispheres and calms the nervous system.
  • Reduces anxiety and helps regulate emotional response.
  • Can be practiced anywhere, at any time, with no tools required.

A Gentle Word on Limitations

If you have asthma or another respiratory condition, cyclic breathing may not be appropriate. Please seek medical advice before practicing.

What Is Cyclic Breathing?

Cyclic breathing is a technique to calm the body and mind during times of stress, anxiety, or fear. One simple and accessible method is based on the Ho‘oponopono rhythm:

  1. Sit comfortably, feet on the ground. Place your hands on your lap or your belly.
  2. Notice your breath, just as it is.
  3. Then begin to breathe in for a count of seven.
  4. Hold for a count of seven.
  5. Exhale for a count of seven.
  6. Hold again for seven.

This is one round. Repeat it seven times.

You may also modify the count to suit your capacity. For example:

  • Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 3, hold for 3.
  • Or: Inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 5, hold for 5.

Breathe slowly and gently, always staying within your comfort zone.

With consistent practice, abdominal breathing becomes natural again. You’ll notice your belly rising and falling as you breathe—just as it did when you were a child.

To support this, try practicing three times a day, or as needed. Repetition is key. Studies suggest it takes around 21 to 30 days to form a new habit. But the benefit is lasting: your body begins to remember the way home.

Enter, Exit, Behold: The Body Speaks

Body-Based Counselling draws on these same principles, using methods that access subconscious information directly through the body. Artistic therapies such as:

  • Clay work
  • Watercolour painting
  • Movement and gesture
  • Colour exploration

These tools bypass the analytical mind. Through simple yet profound methods like Enter, Exit, Behold, clients can step into a bodily sensation or pain, observe what wisdom it carries, and exit with the insight and resource needed for integration, without being overwhelmed or re-traumatised by the original emotion.

This process allows even unspoken or inexpressible emotions to be seen, shaped, and shifted. Pain takes form in clay. Breath is freed through movement. Colour returns to drawings that once looked lifeless. The intangible becomes tangible. Healing begins.

Real Lives, Real Healing

Here are a few examples that reflect the potency of these approaches:

  • A woman preparing for breast surgery received six sessions while also working with a naturopath. Just before the operation, scans revealed that the lumps had vanished.
  • A pregnant woman, leaking fluid after a medical procedure, came to me in a vision asking for help. I sent healing and saw the hole in the sac close. Two weeks later, she had stabilised.
  • A newborn boy with lung issues was hospitalised. After a brief hands-on healing session, he was released the next day. He later grew into a healthy twelve-year-old.
  • I lived with knee pain for seventeen years after a traumatic accident. Following my Reiki and Seichim attunement, I released grief I didn’t even know I was carrying. The pain disappeared.

The Counsellor’s Role

Just like with energy healing, true transformation in counselling comes when the client is ready and willing. The counsellor or practitioner simply creates a safe and sacred space, offers guidance, and teaches tools. But the work, the choice, the healing, comes from within.

Permission is essential. Unless a person asks, the energy cannot flow to them. Healing respects free will. When someone is ready and willing to receive, the field opens. Our role is to hold the space — not to push or fix, but to witness and support.

We do not fix. We empower. We do not impose. We invite.

Signs of Change

Change reveals itself in many ways: a client enters hunched, disconnected, anxious. After the session, they stand taller, breathe deeper, feel lighter. Art becomes more vibrant. Clay forms soften. Colour returns to the canvas. Their posture changes. So does their presence.

That is healing. That is remembering.

“The energy knows the way. All it needs is your yes.”

Video, Phone and Email Consultations Available
www.cheoco.wordpress.com
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au
Microsoft Teams available by arrangement

© Cheryl O’Connor 2025

Images sourced from the internet – sources unknown.

THE WISDOM HIDDEN IN FAIRY TALES

More Than Bedtime Stories

Most people think of fairy tales as sweet bedtime stories for children, pleasant little fables to pass the time before sleep. But when we look beneath the surface, their layers of meaning open like a map, guiding us through the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.

The Forest and the Journey

In almost every classic tale, the storyline begins the same way: a young soul leaves “home”, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and ventures into the wider world. Along the way, they face trials and temptations: witches and wolves, dragons and goblins, wicked stepmothers and treacherous strangers. They may be imprisoned, lost in the forest, or lulled into a deep sleep.

The forest is one of the most enduring symbols in fairy tales. It is not simply scenery, but a living teacher. To enter the dark forest is to step into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar and the safe. It is here that old identities are stripped away, and we must learn to trust a deeper compass of soul. Every shadow and every clearing becomes a guide, showing us that what looks like confusion or danger is also the fertile ground of transformation. Rivers, storms, mountains, and caves serve the same role, thresholds that reshape us if we dare to enter.

Yet, just as often, help arrives, through animals, elemental beings, wise old helpers, or mysterious friends. And when they finally “return home,” they are not the same as when they left. For home is not a physical place at all, it is a return to one’s true self. The journey strips us bare, tests our faith, and teaches us who we really are.

It is important to remember these stories were never meant to be harmless diversions. Long before they were bound in books, fairy tales lived as oral traditions, told around firesides to transmit wisdom, warnings, and hope. They were teaching maps, guiding communities through danger, instinct, resilience, and transformation.

Villains, Helpers and Thresholds

And those so-called “villains”? I do not see them as villains at all. Patriarchy turned them into shadows, wolves, witches, dragons, fearsome figures to frighten us away from their power. But really, it is our own power they mirror back to us: instinct, intuition, raw life force, and the ability to transform. When we meet these figures within, we reclaim parts of ourselves long suppressed. The Witch becomes the Crone, carrying wisdom for thresholds and endings. The Wolf becomes a fierce protector of boundaries. And the Dragon? The Dragon is the guardian of our own inner treasure and power, waiting for us to grow strong enough to step forward and claim it.

Fairy tales also remind us of endings. Sometimes people leave our lives through choice, distance, or even death. As painful as this is, symbolically it may reflect a deeper truth: their energy is no longer aligned with where we are on our journey. In this way, every loss is also a threshold, one that asks us to meet more of ourselves, to grow into new awareness, and to walk forward carrying what was true in love.

Fairy tales remind us too that help often comes in overlooked forms. A talking bird, a humble servant, or a creature of the wild may hold the key to survival. The “simpleton,” mocked for being foolish, is often the one who succeeds where others fail, precisely because they trust what is small, quiet, or easily dismissed. These tales teach us that wisdom rarely arrives dressed in the power we expect. It slips in through the ordinary, reminding us that the sacred hides in plain sight.

Windows, Mirrors and Doorways

Windows, mirrors, and doorways are some of the ways life shows us these Selves. A window may let us see through to where another is truly coming from or reflect ourselves back depending on the angle of light. A mirror shows us our own reflection, sometimes sharply, sometimes kindly. And a doorway? That is the threshold another offers us into a new awareness. Often, whatever we see in another exists within us too, otherwise how could we see it? Some mirror to us where we are presently at and others where we have been at some point in time. Often, in any one interaction, all three roles are present at once. These are not accidents, they are guides.

The True Happily Ever After

Just like the characters in these tales, many of us spend years searching outside ourselves for happiness. We might long for “one true love” to sweep us away, believing they will complete us. And for a while, it might feel like they do. But no matter how romantic the promise, no person can be our everything, especially when we have yet to become that for ourselves.

This is where so many of us misunderstood the “happily ever after.” Disney did not exactly sell us a lie, rather, our culture mistranslated the deeper truth. Long before Disney, the tales themselves were pointing inward. The Prince and Princess were never really about someone else rescuing us. They are symbols of our own inner masculine and feminine. But growing up in a patriarchal system, we were taught to externalise everything: happiness, success, love, even salvation. No wonder so many felt or feel disillusioned when the promise did not hold.

When we look symbolically, the “kiss” that wakes the sleeping one is not about romance at all. It is about awakening, when our masculine energy of logic and clarity meets our feminine energy of intuition and creativity. In that inner union, something comes alive. Balance is restored. We no longer need someone else to complete us, though we may share life with another from a place of wholeness. This is the true happily ever after.

Every fairy tale also carries the rhythm of life itself, descent and return, death and rebirth, endings and beginnings. Sleeping Beauty is not just about a princess in slumber; it is about the necessity of rest and renewal before awakening to new life. Snow White’s glass coffin mirrors the suspended state we sometimes find ourselves in, when part of us has died but the rebirth has not yet arrived. To live consciously is to honour these cycles rather than resist them, recognising that every ending makes space for a new beginning.

The Hero Has Always Been Us

At the heart of it all, every fairy tale whispers the same truth: the hero has always been us. The dangers, helpers, and transformations we read about are mirrors of our own trials and triumphs. The quest is not about rescuing or being rescued, it is about remembering who we truly are. And in the end, to “return home” is to return to that true self, whole, awake, and fully alive.

When a child asks for a story, it may be the soul’s way of speaking, theirs, and yours. Children often choose the very tale that carries the medicine both need to hear. A bedtime request can be far more than whimsy; it can be a mirror of the family’s journey, a whisper of what the soul is trying to surface. In this way, our children become our teachers, reminding us of the truths we may have forgotten.

But we cannot hear these truths if our minds are always noisy. When we chatter constantly, whether in our heads or with our mouths, we block the whispers of Soul and nature wisdom. We need stillness. We need silence. As the saying goes: “When we speak, we only repeat what we know. When we listen, we may learn something new.”

For all of us, no matter our profession or path, this symbolic lens matters. We may find ourselves trapped in a “sleeping spell” of grief, stalked by a “wolf” of fear, or longing for the “helper” who reminds us of our strength and true nature. Fairy tales can be bridges, helping us name our inner landscapes in ways that ordinary language cannot.

The original tales of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen hold far more than quaint moral lessons. They speak to the courage, faith, and trust needed to walk through life’s dark forests and return with wisdom. And they remind us that when a child asks for a certain story, it may be speaking directly to your soul as much as theirs, holding a mirror to where you are on your own journey.

After all, the so-called “real world” is itself the greatest fairy tale of all, an unfolding adventure, full of shadows and helpers, mirrors and doorways, dragons and wolves, Crone wisdom and childlike wonder. And the ending? Well, that is always up to us.

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✨ Reflective Questions

  • Which “villain” or shadow figure, Wolf, Witch, Dragon, feels most alive for you right now? What part of your own power might they be guarding?

  • When was the last time you found yourself standing at a symbolic window, mirror, or doorway? What did it show you about yourself?

  • In what ways are you seeking “happily ever after” outside yourself, and how might you turn inward to find it instead?

  • Where in your life could stillness or silence help you hear what the story of your own soul is trying to say?

  • As the hero has always been you, what chapter of your journey are you living through right now?

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📚 Recommended Reading

On the Feminine, the Crone, and Women’s Stories

  • Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, Jean Shinoda Bolen

  • The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power, Barbara G. Walker

On the Masculine & Feminine Archetypes

  • King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

  • The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock (a counterpart to Campbell’s Hero’s Journey)

  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

On Fairy Tales & Symbolism

  • The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, Bruno Bettelheim

  • Iron John: A Book About Men, Robert Bly (draws from Grimm’s tales)

  • Baba Yaga’s Assistant, Marika McCoola (a modern take on the old witch archetype)

On Myth, Archetypes & Shadow Work

  • Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, Robert A. Johnson

  • The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

On Dragons, Treasure, and Inner Power

  • Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity, Robert L. Moore

  • The Dragon’s Treasure: A Dreamer’s Guide to Inner Discovery, Tian Dayton

  • The Book of Dragons, Edith Nesbit (for a lighter, symbolic entry point)

On Silence, Listening & Stillness

  • The Sacred Embrace of Listening, Kay Lindahl

  • Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson (includes silence as a transformative practice)

© Cheryl O’Connor, 1995, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

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