Shamanic Healing, Shamanism

THE TRUE NATURE OF THE DOLL

Whilst Rudolf Steiner had much wonderful insight to share in relation to the importance of The Doll for all children and subsequently our culture/society and ultimately the world we all live in (which if interested you can read for yourself as it is just all too big for here) I stumbled across the following quite some time ago in Women Who Run With The Wolves which resonated with me strongly and which, I thought, may also be of interest to some.

I could very much relate to what Ms. Estes has to say about Dolls. The following comes from her analysis of the story of Vasalisa.

“Dolls are one of the symbolic treasures of the instinctual nature. In Vasalisa’s case, the doll represents vidacita, the little instinctual life force that is both fierce and enduring. No matter what mess we are in, it lives out a life hidden within us.

For centuries humans have felt that dolls emanate both a holiness and mana – an awesome and compelling presence which acts upon persons, changing them spiritually. Dolls are believed to be infused with life by their makers.

The Doll is the symbolic homunculi, little life. It is the symbol of what lies buried in humans that is numinous. It is a small and glowing facsimile of the original Self. Superficially, it is just a doll. But inversely, there is a little piece of soul that carries all the knowledge of the larger soul-Self.

The Doll is related to the symbols of leprechaun, elf, pixie, fairy, and dwarf. In fairy tales these represent a deep throb of wisdom within the culture of the psyche. They are those creatures which go on with the canny and interior work, who are tireless. In this way the doll represents the inner spirit of women; the voice of inner reason, inner knowing, and inner consciousness.

The doll is like the little bird in fairy tales who comes and whispers in the heroine’s ear, the one who reveals the hidden enemy and what to do about it all. This is the wisdom of homunculus, the small being within. It is our helper which is not seeable, but which is always accessible.

The dolls serve as talismans. Talismans are reminders of what is felt but not seen, what is so, but is not immediately obvious. The talismanic numen of the doll is that it reminds us, tells us, and sees ahead for us. This intuitive function belongs to all women. It is a massive and fundamental receptivity. Not receptivity as once touted in classical psychology that is as a passive vessel. But receptivity as in possessing immediate access to a profound wisdom that reaches to women’s very bones.”

Personally I have never been a fan of plastic dolls with false smiley faces or “perfect” model bodies and as a child I was never drawn to Barbie dolls at all even though they were all the rage during my childhood. As I have grown older I can see how that fits with my own need to always be real, raw and passionate and not pretend I am anything I am not. The last thing I reckon a child would want when they are upset is to cuddle a cold plastic doll with a painted smiley face. If it were me and I was upset I reckon I would want to throw it as far away from me as possible. To my way of thinking something soft and warm, made with love and care rather than a slapped together plastic mould type deal would always bring more comfort and nurturing.

What I have always found very interesting to observe over the years as the Bat Cave has been and still is a workplace for making dolls, toys and other items, is that absolutely every single item I have made of the doll/toy variety my son, as he was growing up wanted too, and his face would often light up with excitement as he witnessed each new creation. He was so perceptive that quite a while back his attention was drawn to a particular flower child I was making and he said “I really like this one, she is full of Spirit.”

So…. I cannot help but believe that Ms Pinkola Estes’ perception of the doll is a true reflection of their nature because there truly is something very special, beautiful and magical that occurs for me in the realm of doll/toy making. It is not seen, it is not measurable in terms of logic, but it contains a feeling that is truly beyond words, not just for me the maker, but more importantly for those who receive them.

I personally find there is nothing more satisfying for me than taking raw materials that look like nothing special or much at all and turning them into gorgeous little life and loved filled creations. There is also nothing more magical in my world than seeing the looks on folk’s faces when they see them on the table at the market.

Eyes light up, big smiles come, faces soften and exclamations of how cute and beautiful they are, are common. You can see the inner child in many come forth when they look at and feel my creations and in a world that is mostly full of manufactured, whack it out as fast as you can items, based on nothing more than making a profit which fall apart in no time, it is so very lovely to be able to bring the gift of handmade to many, for it is in those moments when I can see and also feel the affect my creations have on folk that truly do make the many hours they take to create oohh so worth it.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

 

THE HEALING POWER OF ANGER

Many see anger as a “bad” thing, a negative emotion that perhaps should not be expressed. Personally I just see all emotions as different forms of energy.

Imagine if you will that your body is a capped volcano. On the outside is a solid calm presence that hides within it a very alive and active amount of energy. The cap stopping the flow of this energy is one consisting of being polite and not letting fly whilst within the energy simmers and brews becoming more and more frustrated pushing its way to the top needing release before it implodes and damages our bodies.

As the frustration builds and builds in its intensity with one thing after another suddenly “the last straw” comes along. The energy can be held in place no longer and so whammo off comes the cap of politeness, of holding your tongue and our frustration which has been building ever so intensely spews forth like hot lava affecting everyone in its path.

Once the lava emerges what then? You’ve usually surprised a lot of folk and perhaps even yourself that you went off so badly and perhaps you and others are suddenly in shock that you have let fly. Whilst you feel good that your frustration has been set free which due to being squashed down time and time again turned into anger you are also left feeling somewhat embarrassed and perhaps in awe or even in fear of the amount of energy that came flying out of you spitting hot rocks and lava everywhere. Most folk when they do finally let fly then apologise for having done so – why? Is our conditioning so very entrenched in relation to not allowing ourselves to express anger?

Let’s dig a little deeper shall we to see what is contained within the now just simmering lava that is flowing and 10 times out of 10 you will find buried beneath it all lays a wound that you have been unconsciously protecting that exists from some moment in time which was inflicted upon you that has been covered up time and time again with layers of protection in fear so that another does not wound us in the same way again.

Once the cap of frustration and anger blows and the pain of the wound is actually felt, it exists no more, nor do the layers protecting it.

It was very interesting to me quite some time ago now to observe the behaviour of another who was using alcohol as “medicine” to numb pain and who was often angry, hurt full towards others and many times totally irrational as folk suffering the sickness of alcohol self-medication are. I sensed fear, an inability to cope and a very deep wound lay beneath it all so the alcohol and anger if you like was just the protection being used to push others away, ultimately totally and kept anyone from getting anywhere near the wound so the pain of it would not be felt.

In this individual I was reminded of the analogy of a wounded animal, in that the first instinct of any animal when wounded is to act aggressively when another tries to assist care for them or help heal their wound. Anger can be quite destructive to relationships but to dig deeper and find the wound is the blessing in it. However as with all things it is totally up to the individual whether or not they actually want to face and feel their own pain or whether they just continue on with their lives protecting themselves and pushing other folk away with their defensive fear based anger, for the greatest form of defence is known to be attack first.

I also find that anger is a wonderful energy if used without hurting other folk with words for weapons or physically, for it gives me the rocket fuel, if you like, I sometimes need, to propel me into action or into what I term Warrior mode and make changes in my life I’ve been thinking about but haven’t yet acted on and yes always underneath it so far I have found fear, a wound and pain.

We all reach our “enough” point at some stage, some of us sooner rather than later. A very wise person once said to me “If you know something is poisonous, stop taking it.” They were not referring at the time to a physical substance being ingested (although that does apply) but to behaviours by others that make us upset or cause us pain. Behaviours that are not kind and do not bring us any sense of peace, calm or love. Whether those behaviours are our own or another’s.

Many say if you truly love someone it shouldn’t matter what crap they throw at you or how much pain they bring you, you should just stick it out and put up with it. Personally I say bollocks to that for there does indeed come a time when you have to love yourself, your own peace of mind and being, more than continually putting up with being in the projectionary firing line of another’s unhealed wounds. It is often the case that out of love for yourself and another you reach your enough point and just totally walk away, leaving them to stew in their own crap and with any luck enough space to finally start looking at themselves and start dealing with whatever has caused them to behave in the hurtful way they have been.

So…. anger is not, in my reality, a “bad” thing at all when we see it for what it truly is and do no harm to others with it. It is in fact a very powerful energy that moves us forward and helps us see, feel and heal our wounds.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

COMPROMISE

Like most words it’s a really interesting one when you stop and look at it and play around with it a little for in it I actually see two words Com and Promise – so what does it really mean?

Well according to one dictionary source com is a prefix meaning “with,” “together,” “in association,” and (with intensive force) “completely,” occurring in loanwords from Latin ( commit ): used in the formation of compound words before b, p, m: combine; compare; commingle.

Promise from my perception means that no matter what, I will do what I say I will. It may be that I can’t always do it exactly when I said I would but regardless of how long it takes I will do it anyway. For me a promise is linked in with a person’s integrity and honesty and displays, or not, their ability to “Walk their Talk” and whether or not they can be trusted and believed when they speak.

For me a promise is only ever something I can honestly make from the depths of my being, from the very core and heart of my soul and it is a sacred vow for me once spoken because regardless of what I have to go through, endure or deal with that vow will not ever be broken nor completed via the contract I have made by promising anything, until I have done what I have promised I will do.

Hence, I rarely ever make promises because life is so changeable and so much happens and the only time I make a promise is when I know with absolutely certainty and no doubt whatsoever within me that I can keep a promise, no matter what, which is why my book The Promise was given that title.

According to one dictionary there are several definitions for the word Promise:-

1. is a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc., by one: unkept political promises.
2. an express assurance on which expectation is to be based: promises that an enemy will not win.
3. something that has the effect of an express assurance; indication of what may be expected.
4. indication of future excellence or achievement: a writer who shows promise.
5. something that is promised.

So…. what happens when we put Com and Promise together well yes we get Compromise but what then does that word really mean?

When I put them together not only do I get compromise but I also get a binding and complete contract if you like with another person that no matter what will not be broken and that is my own personal standard definition of the word.

However, according to one dictionary when the words com and promise come together they actually create meanings such as these:-

1. A settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
2. the result of such a settlement.
3. something intermediate between different things: The split-level is a compromise between a ranch house and a multistoried house.
4. an endangering, especially of reputation; exposure to danger, suspicion, etc.: a compromise of one’s integrity.
verb (used with object), com•pro•mised, com•pro•mis•ing.
5. to settle by a compromise.
6. to expose or make vulnerable to danger, suspicion, scandal, etc.; jeopardize: a military oversight that compromised the nation’s defenses.
7. Obsolete .
a. to bind by bargain or agreement.
b. to bring to terms.

With these second lot of definitions in mind, which are the ones most folk normally associate compromise with, and given that the majority of us involve ourselves in relationships that appear to involve compromise as a major component, how is it that any of us can be truly happy when we compromise ourselves in the context of the meanings the majority place on the word?

I was speaking with a friend a while ago now and said something like “it’s all about comprising” as we were discussing “relationships”. This friend shared with me that no they did not believe that and then told me the following story which I have remembered as best as I can from my perception of it.

It was a fairly typical story of two people who meet, both living in separate places some distance away from each other quite happily. Neither wanting to move into each other’s space due to the distance they would then have to travel to where they needed to be for children’s schooling, work etc.

They wanted to live together just not in each other’s current place of residence so they compromised and both moved to a house, into an area neither really liked, so that the distance they each had to travel to be where they needed to be was equal.

This resulted in both now needing to travel a greater distance than they were on a daily basis, adjust to living together with each other and their respective children all in a house and an area neither particularly liked.

So what are the chances do you think of all involved being happy when all have compromised (with the word meaning the second lot of definitions I have shared) living arrangements they were perfectly happy with prior to meeting each other and when their relationship in that house is now built on a foundational stone of compromise?

This story is one I have heard often and one I have also lived for there once was a time when I saw compromise as most see it.

I once had also thought myself that compromise with that meaning attached to it was a necessary factor in a relationship. The old give and take as opposed to give and receive (there is a huge difference) and give all you can to anything you really want to make happen or experience. Therein lays another issue in the word “make”. For truly we can never “make” anything happen where another is involved. At best we can give it a go and if both are committed plans are usually made and we create together whatever it is we have decided to create but we can never ever “make” another do anything.

I myself once compromised my way of life to move to another state to be with someone I loved because in many respects it was, at the time, easier for me to do so than him.

I gave up my whole way of life thinking my life would be better than it was at that time. Reality proved me wrong for it became a situation of me doing all the giving, me being the one constantly “compromising” what I wanted to experience in my life and in return I received a lot of abuse, ultimately ill health emotionally, financially, mentally and physically from another whose behaviour, lack of respect and narcissism, together with a previously unknown issue with alcohol which was being used to numb a heck of a lot of disenfranchised grief that had not been dealt with, all of which only became apparent once I had made the move over 1,000 kilometres away from my “home” area of some 28 years to an area I absolutely detested and often referred to as “the cess pit”. Essentially compromise in that situation wasn’t healthy for me or my son and cost me dearly in more ways than one. It also taught me much for which I was and am most grateful.

Compromise with the “normal” meaning of the word attached to it, from what I have seen from being on the planet for 50 years rarely ever turns out for the best when each and every one of us, by our very nature, requires the personal freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want to within the confines or our societal structures, personal morals and values of course, independence and peace in our lives.

Compromise again with the “normal” definition from what I have seen leads to resentment and a host of other emotions that do not include joy, happiness or peace for how can we give another the best of us and experience joy, peace or happiness when we have in fact compromised ourselves and what truly makes us happy, joyous or peace full?

So … personally, like my friend, I can’t see that compromise, as so very many of us know it to be, actually really works too well for any of us and I can’t imagine that any time soon I will be choosing to compromise myself in that context again.

Compromise however as I have come to know it and define it appears to me to be a whole different ball game.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

GRATITUDE

We often give thanks to those who have been kind, loving, and supportive and who have helped us when we have needed help. It is the most natural thing for us to be and to feel in such circumstances.

For myself and I don’t doubt others, there have been many in my life who have been there to help me pick up the pieces when the shit has literally hit the fan.

So many people I have met along the way whose nature it is to help others. These types of people warm our hearts and restore our faith in the good we know exists in humanity and we have every reason to be grateful for their presence in our lives and in the world.

For all the wonderful people I have shared parts of my journey with there have been just as many people who caused me pain, tore me down, abused me, hit me, yelled at me, hassled me, bullied me, made me ill, made me feel small, scared me, broke my heart, ignored me, told me I wasn’t good enough, told me I was wrong, stupid, pathetic, crazy, an idiot, criticised me, gossiped about me, broke my heart, caused me trauma and distress, caused things I had spent a huge amount of time, effort and energy creating to be destroyed and bla bla bla.

Many in this world seem to think that success is about having “things”, the more they have the happier they think they will be. Many see success in terms of how much money one accumulates or how high up the corporate ladder they climb or even how well known they become. Success in this world is often portrayed as being linked with money – the more you have the more successful you are.

Personally I don’t see any of that and never have done for I see success as being the ability to feel just as much love and gratitude for those who have treated us badly as we have for those who have, without a second thought, gone out of their way to assist us whenever we have needed whatever we have needed.

For it seems to me it is a combination of both types of people who show us what we truly need to know about ourselves, who give us strength, teach us love and forgiveness and who help us become our full potential.

When we feel total love and gratitude for all that has been, is and is yet to be, and can truly see the gifts of love given by those who we feel have treated us badly – we have peace and well personally I don’t know of any greater success than that.

Cheers, Cheryl.
Copyright. C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Image: Valerie Sjodin

THE POWER OF DREAMS & CHILDREN

Beautiful Child speak to me of the magic I no longer see.

Show me how to live again with joy, love and laughter

not judgement and blame.

Tell me all your stories so I may find my way

inward to the Kingdom of Heaven that in each of us does lay.

I am often asked how parents can help ease the anxiety of the intense feelings children can sometimes experience in dream state and upon waking.

There are many ways in which we can assist.  Firstly adults need to realise that DREAMS ARE REAL!  They are not just products of over-active imaginations.  If they are treated as real events by adults, and children have the freedom to express their experiences both waking and sleeping, the children learn that they are safe and they don’t have to carry around the feelings of their experience, nor do they necessarily need to have repeating dream experiences occur.

Just because us adults cannot see the monster hiding under the bed, or the “imaginary” friend, the fairies and whatever else children can see does not mean for one second that those things do not exist.  Children are far more “open” than we are and have not lost their connection like we have to Spirit.

Sometimes a dream can be too scary or horrible for children to talk about and so other ways of expression need to be looked at.  The following applies as much to adults as it does to children.

A special book in which a child can write and/or draw whatever they need to is useful.  Painting, modelling, poetry or any other creative medium can also be used.  Drama has wonderful results when the child plays out the part of the monster or whatever he/she chooses to from the dream, with adults encouraging the child to take control of the situation.

A delightful example of how this works so beautifully came to me some time ago.  I read about an innovative school teacher in Tasmania who instead of the normal “show and tell” sessions has introduced “Dream Discussion”.  She stated that she found it helpful to class morale and co-operation because the children realise that they all have similar experiences, feelings and fears.

The story that was included in this article of how effective Dream Work with children is, follows:-

A young girl had a Wolf visit her in her dreams every night, so the teacher did some role playing with this child and they discovered (with the child playing the role of the Wolf) that the only reason he came to her all the time was because she was “so easy to scare.”

The girl proceeded to draw and colour the Wolf as she had seen him in her dreams, she then screwed the drawing up, jumped up and down on it a few times, tore it to pieces and put it in the bin.

That night the Wolf came to her in a dream and he had bandages all over him.   The next night again he returned but this time he was in a wheel chair.  The third night he came on a stretcher and told her she’d won, she’d finally killed him and then he died.

I’m sure much to the little girl’s relief.

Another useful form of expression is “Dream Talk”.  I usually find that over breakfast is a good time for this whilst it is still fresh in the child’s mind.  If a child knows they can talk about their dreams and not be ridiculed they will do so frequently and usually in great detail.  Adults can then use this dream information, if they choose to, to gain a clearer insight into what is REALLY going on with the child or children in their care.

You’ll be in for many pleasant surprises, challenges and sometimes amazement if you start practising this regularly.  I have personally found in the past that my daughter’s self-esteem, sense of self and her ability to find her own solutions to life’s challenges was greatly enhanced by both of us working with her dreams.

“Enjoy your children as your teachers,

not for what you necessarily wanted to learn

but for what you needed to discover.”

Mother Teresa.

© C. O’Connor 2013.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Image sourced from internet – creator unknown.

THE WISDOM HIDDEN IN FAIRY TALES

More Than Bedtime Stories

Most people think of fairy tales as sweet bedtime stories for children, pleasant little fables to pass the time before sleep. But when we look beneath the surface, their layers of meaning open like a map, guiding us through the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.

The Forest and the Journey

In almost every classic tale, the storyline begins the same way: a young soul leaves “home”, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and ventures into the wider world. Along the way, they face trials and temptations: witches and wolves, dragons and goblins, wicked stepmothers and treacherous strangers. They may be imprisoned, lost in the forest, or lulled into a deep sleep.

The forest is one of the most enduring symbols in fairy tales. It is not simply scenery, but a living teacher. To enter the dark forest is to step into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar and the safe. It is here that old identities are stripped away, and we must learn to trust a deeper compass of soul. Every shadow and every clearing becomes a guide, showing us that what looks like confusion or danger is also the fertile ground of transformation. Rivers, storms, mountains, and caves serve the same role, thresholds that reshape us if we dare to enter.

Yet, just as often, help arrives, through animals, elemental beings, wise old helpers, or mysterious friends. And when they finally “return home,” they are not the same as when they left. For home is not a physical place at all, it is a return to one’s true self. The journey strips us bare, tests our faith, and teaches us who we really are.

It is important to remember these stories were never meant to be harmless diversions. Long before they were bound in books, fairy tales lived as oral traditions, told around firesides to transmit wisdom, warnings, and hope. They were teaching maps, guiding communities through danger, instinct, resilience, and transformation.

Villains, Helpers and Thresholds

And those so-called “villains”? I do not see them as villains at all. Patriarchy turned them into shadows, wolves, witches, dragons, fearsome figures to frighten us away from their power. But really, it is our own power they mirror back to us: instinct, intuition, raw life force, and the ability to transform. When we meet these figures within, we reclaim parts of ourselves long suppressed. The Witch becomes the Crone, carrying wisdom for thresholds and endings. The Wolf becomes a fierce protector of boundaries. And the Dragon? The Dragon is the guardian of our own inner treasure and power, waiting for us to grow strong enough to step forward and claim it.

Fairy tales also remind us of endings. Sometimes people leave our lives through choice, distance, or even death. As painful as this is, symbolically it may reflect a deeper truth: their energy is no longer aligned with where we are on our journey. In this way, every loss is also a threshold, one that asks us to meet more of ourselves, to grow into new awareness, and to walk forward carrying what was true in love.

Fairy tales remind us too that help often comes in overlooked forms. A talking bird, a humble servant, or a creature of the wild may hold the key to survival. The “simpleton,” mocked for being foolish, is often the one who succeeds where others fail, precisely because they trust what is small, quiet, or easily dismissed. These tales teach us that wisdom rarely arrives dressed in the power we expect. It slips in through the ordinary, reminding us that the sacred hides in plain sight.

Windows, Mirrors and Doorways

Windows, mirrors, and doorways are some of the ways life shows us these Selves. A window may let us see through to where another is truly coming from or reflect ourselves back depending on the angle of light. A mirror shows us our own reflection, sometimes sharply, sometimes kindly. And a doorway? That is the threshold another offers us into a new awareness. Often, whatever we see in another exists within us too, otherwise how could we see it? Some mirror to us where we are presently at and others where we have been at some point in time. Often, in any one interaction, all three roles are present at once. These are not accidents, they are guides.

The True Happily Ever After

Just like the characters in these tales, many of us spend years searching outside ourselves for happiness. We might long for “one true love” to sweep us away, believing they will complete us. And for a while, it might feel like they do. But no matter how romantic the promise, no person can be our everything, especially when we have yet to become that for ourselves.

This is where so many of us misunderstood the “happily ever after.” Disney did not exactly sell us a lie, rather, our culture mistranslated the deeper truth. Long before Disney, the tales themselves were pointing inward. The Prince and Princess were never really about someone else rescuing us. They are symbols of our own inner masculine and feminine. But growing up in a patriarchal system, we were taught to externalise everything: happiness, success, love, even salvation. No wonder so many felt or feel disillusioned when the promise did not hold.

When we look symbolically, the “kiss” that wakes the sleeping one is not about romance at all. It is about awakening, when our masculine energy of logic and clarity meets our feminine energy of intuition and creativity. In that inner union, something comes alive. Balance is restored. We no longer need someone else to complete us, though we may share life with another from a place of wholeness. This is the true happily ever after.

Every fairy tale also carries the rhythm of life itself, descent and return, death and rebirth, endings and beginnings. Sleeping Beauty is not just about a princess in slumber; it is about the necessity of rest and renewal before awakening to new life. Snow White’s glass coffin mirrors the suspended state we sometimes find ourselves in, when part of us has died but the rebirth has not yet arrived. To live consciously is to honour these cycles rather than resist them, recognising that every ending makes space for a new beginning.

The Hero Has Always Been Us

At the heart of it all, every fairy tale whispers the same truth: the hero has always been us. The dangers, helpers, and transformations we read about are mirrors of our own trials and triumphs. The quest is not about rescuing or being rescued, it is about remembering who we truly are. And in the end, to “return home” is to return to that true self, whole, awake, and fully alive.

When a child asks for a story, it may be the soul’s way of speaking, theirs, and yours. Children often choose the very tale that carries the medicine both need to hear. A bedtime request can be far more than whimsy; it can be a mirror of the family’s journey, a whisper of what the soul is trying to surface. In this way, our children become our teachers, reminding us of the truths we may have forgotten.

But we cannot hear these truths if our minds are always noisy. When we chatter constantly, whether in our heads or with our mouths, we block the whispers of Soul and nature wisdom. We need stillness. We need silence. As the saying goes: “When we speak, we only repeat what we know. When we listen, we may learn something new.”

For all of us, no matter our profession or path, this symbolic lens matters. We may find ourselves trapped in a “sleeping spell” of grief, stalked by a “wolf” of fear, or longing for the “helper” who reminds us of our strength and true nature. Fairy tales can be bridges, helping us name our inner landscapes in ways that ordinary language cannot.

The original tales of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen hold far more than quaint moral lessons. They speak to the courage, faith, and trust needed to walk through life’s dark forests and return with wisdom. And they remind us that when a child asks for a certain story, it may be speaking directly to your soul as much as theirs, holding a mirror to where you are on your own journey.

After all, the so-called “real world” is itself the greatest fairy tale of all, an unfolding adventure, full of shadows and helpers, mirrors and doorways, dragons and wolves, Crone wisdom and childlike wonder. And the ending? Well, that is always up to us.

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✨ Reflective Questions

  • Which “villain” or shadow figure, Wolf, Witch, Dragon, feels most alive for you right now? What part of your own power might they be guarding?

  • When was the last time you found yourself standing at a symbolic window, mirror, or doorway? What did it show you about yourself?

  • In what ways are you seeking “happily ever after” outside yourself, and how might you turn inward to find it instead?

  • Where in your life could stillness or silence help you hear what the story of your own soul is trying to say?

  • As the hero has always been you, what chapter of your journey are you living through right now?

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📚 Recommended Reading

On the Feminine, the Crone, and Women’s Stories

  • Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, Jean Shinoda Bolen

  • The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power, Barbara G. Walker

On the Masculine & Feminine Archetypes

  • King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

  • The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock (a counterpart to Campbell’s Hero’s Journey)

  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

On Fairy Tales & Symbolism

  • The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, Bruno Bettelheim

  • Iron John: A Book About Men, Robert Bly (draws from Grimm’s tales)

  • Baba Yaga’s Assistant, Marika McCoola (a modern take on the old witch archetype)

On Myth, Archetypes & Shadow Work

  • Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, Robert A. Johnson

  • The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

On Dragons, Treasure, and Inner Power

  • Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity, Robert L. Moore

  • The Dragon’s Treasure: A Dreamer’s Guide to Inner Discovery, Tian Dayton

  • The Book of Dragons, Edith Nesbit (for a lighter, symbolic entry point)

On Silence, Listening & Stillness

  • The Sacred Embrace of Listening, Kay Lindahl

  • Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson (includes silence as a transformative practice)

© Cheryl O’Connor, 1995, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

•´☾☆☽`•

 

DRUMMING UP A DREAM

Drum

“Sacred Drum aligns me with the heart beat of the Earth expanding and taking me deep inside to experience my true worth. Connecting my awareness consciously with the Source of all Creation, creates a feeling within and without of peace, bliss and jubilation.”

My Workshops are based on Native American/Shamanic practices.  The Drum and the Didgeridoo are the oldest instruments known to humanity which assist you to enter Dreaming consciously, quickly and safely.  In Aboriginal Culture the playing of the Didgeridoo is “men’s business” and out of my respect for that culture I never have or will put one to my lips, I do however use the Drum.

After the first session of drumming which usually lasts about 20 minutes, participants draw one image and formulate one question regarding what they have experienced.  They then pair up (if numbers allow and if they wish to) and both hold one person’s image and question in their minds whilst I drum again.  This is where “magic” truly occurs for both enter the same/similar dream and experience whatever is needed.  After that drumming session we share what has occurred and participants then enter dreaming again holding the other person’s image and question in their minds.  We then again share what has occurred.

To enter Dreaming consciously is a truly amazing experience and each participant receives whatever it is they need for them at that particular moment in their lives, whether that be re-connection to a part of Self that needs to be re-membered, realising their full connection to the natural world and all that exists, meeting with their Ancestors or Guides, or discovering and journeying with their totem or power animal/s.  Like life, the possibilities of what can occur in this space are only limited to your own perception and beliefs.

After this part of the workshop is completed we then break for some healthy sustenance and re-group for the second part of the workshop which is where questions are asked, dreams are worked with, techniques taught for working with your dreams and a general sharing occurs.

Cost per person is $50 and in order to secure your place a non-refundable deposit of $10 is required at the time of booking.  The balance is to be paid on the day, before we start.

It is suggested you do not consume alcohol or recreational drugs 24 hours prior and you only have a very light breakfast.  Anyone who appears to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs will not be permitted to participate.

You will need to bring writing and drawing materials but the other things listed here are optional, if you require a bit of comfort whilst you are dreaming, and if you have any queries please contact me:-

  • something to lay on, like a yoga mat.
  • something to cover your eyes with, if you need it.
  • a light blanket.
  • warm socks.

If you would like to participate in my next Workshop or would like me to come to you to conduct one please email me at Cheoco99@gmail.com or private message me at Facebook – Cheoco Enterprises.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au