Articles

SPIDER – Weaving the Web of Life.
Not everyone’s favourite critter and certainly not mine BUT Spider is symbolic of much. Spider is said to have woven the first primordial alphabet. So can be about writing. Spider speaks of our connection to all that exists in the world wide (universal) web. Spider’s body is shaped like a figure 8 – symbol for DNA and her 8 legs are said to symbolise the fo…ur directions and the four winds of change.Spider can be a warning message to not get caught up in our own illusions of ourselves and the physical world. Spider is also about creating and her web is said to represent the wheel of life to which we are all bound.

She can be a warning to not get caught up in the polarities of good and bad and a reminder that we can create anything we want to in our lives. Spider, like ourselves is always creating and it is prudent to be mindful of what exactly we are creating for ourselves without getting caught up in the web of our own delusions.

She can also be a reminder for us to not get so tangled up in our own webs of destructiveness and criticism when it comes to our relationships with others. For some Spiders will indeed kill and eat their own partners. Copyright C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Re-Membering the Self: Healing What Was Forgotten

Have you ever felt like pieces of you are missing—like you walk through life with invisible gaps you can’t explain?

This is the quiet legacy of trauma. Our cultural conditioning, childhood wounds, and the unspoken energies of fear and abuse cause us to shut parts of ourselves away in order to survive. When the pain feels too much to bear, fragments of our being retreat into the subconscious, creating protective walls that shield us from further harm. These fragments remain hidden, but they continue to shape our lives—surfacing as re-actions instead of conscious responses.¹

We may find ourselves repeating patterns we do not want, pushing people away when we long for closeness, or filling inner holes with addictions, distractions, or relationships that never quite heal the emptiness. This is not because we are broken. It is because parts of us are waiting to come home.

The Body Remembers

Trauma is not just stored in memory—it is stored in the body.² ³ Muscles tighten, breathing shortens, the nervous system learns to expect danger. What could not be felt at the time becomes lodged in the cells of our being. Over the years, these unprocessed fragments may create illness or dis-ease—literally, a body not at ease with itself.

To become whole, we must re-member. This is more than recalling with the mind. It is bringing lost parts back into the membrane of our being, allowing ourselves to feel what was once too terrifying or overwhelming to feel. Only then can the energy move through the body and transform.

The Dreaming as Gateway

The Dreaming is one of the most powerful gateways for this re-membering. Some call it dreaming, astral travel, shamanic journeying, meditation, past life regression, or even moments of drift between sleep and waking.⁴ ⁵ All are expressions of the same expanded field of consciousness, where the boundaries of time dissolve and all is now.

Indigenous wisdom teaches that Dreaming is not confined to the past but is a living reality in which ancestors, land, and spirit continually speak.⁶ ⁷ Western depth psychology echoes this, recognising the dreamworld as the symbolic landscape of the psyche where hidden parts of the self may return.⁸ ⁹

Through The Dreaming, we gain access to the fragments of self split off by trauma. These encounters may appear as dream figures, symbolic landscapes, or re-enactments of old wounds. By engaging with them—through dream journaling, reflection, or guided processes—we can shift the patterns not only of this lifetime but also those carried across generations.¹⁰

Healing Across Time

We cannot change what happened in the past. But we can change how the past lives within us. When we meet a reactive trigger in daily life as if it were a dream symbol, we open the door to healing. Instead of repeating the same re-action, we can respond differently—re-writing the imprint, releasing the body’s grip, and restoring flow to the soul.

Transgenerational trauma research shows that unhealed wounds ripple down through families, shaping the lives of children and grandchildren.¹¹ Yet the reverse is also true: when one person chooses to re-member and transform their pain, the healing radiates outward, offering release to both ancestors and descendants. In this way, personal re-membering becomes collective re-membering.

Returning to Wholeness

As we call these parts home, the walls we built for protection soften. Instead of holes we try to fill, we discover fullness already within us. Instead of patterns that sabotage, we find space for conscious choice.

This is not easy work. It asks us to feel what we once ran from, to sit with grief, pain, fear, and sadness. But on the other side of the feeling lies integration. And with integration comes freedom—the freedom of being wholly ourselves.

We were never truly broken. We were only waiting to be whole again.

Reflection for You

Is there a dream, memory, or reactive moment that has been returning to you? Sit with it gently. Treat it as you would a dream symbol. Ask: What part of me is calling to come home? Then listen—not with the mind alone, but with the body and the heart.

Each fragment re-membered is life-force returned.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

References

  1. Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. New York: Basic Books.

  2. Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Viking.

  3. Ogden, P., & Fisher, J. (2015). Sensorimotor psychotherapy: Interventions for trauma and attachment. New York: W. W. Norton.

  4. Hillman, J. (1979). The dream and the underworld. New York: Harper & Row.

  5. Jung, C. G. (1960). The structure and dynamics of the psyche (Collected Works Vol. 8). Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

  6. Rose, D. B. (1996). Nourishing terrains: Australian Aboriginal views of landscape and wilderness. Canberra: Australian Heritage Commission.

  7. Atkinson, J. (2002). Trauma trails, recreating song lines: The transgenerational effects of trauma in Indigenous Australia. North Melbourne: Spinifex Press.

  8. Yunkaporta, T. (2019). Sand talk: How Indigenous thinking can save the world. Melbourne: Text Publishing.

  9. Nakata, M. (2007). Disciplining the savages, savaging the disciplines. Canberra: Aboriginal Studies Press.

  10. Watkins, M., & Shulman, H. (2008). Toward psychologies of liberation. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

  11. Danieli, Y. (Ed.). (1998). International handbook of multigenerational legacies of trauma. New York: Springer.

WOLF MEDICINE

Image

Wolves in general over time have been given a rather bad name and many fear them, simply because they do not understand them and I doubt our perception of them in stories like Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs etc. did much to endear them to us as children.

Highly intelligent creatures and for me extremely beautiful animals they exist within a pack that has a very definite hierarchy.  Each Wolf knowing its place within that system.  Whilst this system exists there is also a certain amount of democracy to the way they function.  Just depends on the circumstances of the moment as to whether the rules are followed or freedom of choice is allowed and all know what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour and the consequences should they choose to break the rules.

They are very strong animals, extremely protective of their young, they work together – bringing in a strong sense of community.  They travel great distances in order to catch prey gorging themselves fully and wasting nothing of that prey once they catch it.  They are also very loyal to their own kind taking one partner only for life and having a very strong sense of family about them.   Yet there is also a strong individualistic urge within each.

Whilst they are assertive, they do not fight for the sake of fighting, or attack unless threatened, they are very territorial but often just a look or a growl is enough to be a deterrent to anything threatening them or annoying them.  (Just ask my daughter and those who know me well and they will tell you how true this is.)

I recently experienced the last group sleep over for my son’s birthday, requesting that the 5 boys entrusted in my care please not wake me when I went to bed.  Around 2am I was woken by their loud chatterings and yelled out asking them to please keep it down.  They agreed but about 10 – 15 minutes later I was again woken, this time more fully and as I walked through the lounge area in the Bat Cave towards the kitchen I just looked at them all and totally unplanned and unconsciously let out a rather loud Wolfy growl.  I’ve honestly never seen 5 boys move so quickly in my life into their respective sleeping spots for the night and I never heard another peep out of any of them.  I was later told my Wolfy growl scared the crap out of them.   Who knew a growl could be so effective and so, being part Wolf does indeed have many advantages.

Their main prey is Deer and they only take on that which they know they can handle.  Generally speaking they only kill that which is already sick or weak.  Their senses are also very keen – particularly their sense of smell and hearing.  Having Wolf as one of my main totems I also find Wolves to be rather fearless, curious creatures and extremely loving and compassionate, yet firm and decisive.   There are a few stories throughout the ages that come to mind about how human children have been adopted by Wolves – The Jungle Book for one.

Wolf is associated with the Moon – which in some cultures is the energy of the feminine, psychic energy and the subconscious.  I personally see Wolf as being a symbol of the Wild Feminine Spirit within each of us here on Earth due to its nature and strong connection to the Moon.

Native Americans refer to the Stars as “The Great Star Nation” – within The Great Star Nation exists the Dog Star – Sirius – which represents Wolf.   In Egyptian times Sirius was known as the home of the Gods and during my research on Wolf I read that a tribe in Africa still believe this to be so.

For Native Americans their legends also speak of Sirius being the original home of their teachers in ancient times and therefore Wolf people form part of the Clan of Teachers.  Wolf being the tribe’s greatest teacher as those with Wolf Medicine often carve new paths for the betterment of humanity and are known as Path Finders.

Wolf’s Medicine brings us all the attributes of Wolf and one of the main tasks I have found with Wolf as my power ally/totem during many life times is to share my knowledge by way of writing and giving talks in such a way that it helps others to understand themselves more fully – their own unique beauty, individuality or path in life and their connection to all that exists.

Wolf Medicine is also about making and taking time to be alone – seeking out lonely places in nature – in order to become more aware of the teacher within, becoming more aware of our intuition, our wild feminine spirit and listening to it, as well as contributing to the betterment of humanity and finding balance between the two.

Whenever Wolf appears to you in any form a good question to ask yourself is “What are you teaching me about myself?”

Hooooowwwwwlllllll

Namaste.

© C. O’Connor 2014

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

* Proud member of The Wellness Universe – www.TheWellnessUniverse.com

#‎WUVIP

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

TRUST

It’s a biggy isn’t it?

No doubt we’ve all believed what someone has told us with everything in us and then wham we learn the hard way that person is NOT to be trusted. So… where do you go from there once trust is gone? I haven’t yet experienced that you can re-build it totally with the person who broke it. At the very least you are indeed wary of believing much anymore that comes out of that person’s mouth.

Yet we innately trust when we are children. We trust we will be fed, bathed, clothed and we don’t concern ourselves too much at all really with the adult world of money, distrust, blame, judgment or gossip.  Young children have no awareness of there being a me and them and they are full of trust and love.

As women, when we are pregnant we trust that the life we have growing inside us knows exactly what it’s doing. We all trust that we can breathe, we trust that our blood flows through our veins 24/7 and that our bodies know, somehow, how to work properly without us having to think too much about any of it. We trust the sun will come up each day and we trust that the seasons will come and go as they have done for eons.

Many trust that there is a higher power that is guiding them in their lives. They can’t see it but most trust that it exists in the form of God or whatever other label we use to describe something that we believe is outside of us that we think has power over us and our lives. When good things happen we thank “God” or the Universe or whatever our belief is. When bad things happen, generally speaking, we play the blame game.  Many have horrible, shocking, terrible things happen to them and then say how could “God” let that happen?  Some people come into this world and then are gone again rather quickly and again many of us say “they were too young to die” because our expectation, generally speaking, is that folk once born will live to ripe old ages.

Personally I figure we are all here only for as long as we need to be, to do whatever it is we came to do and once we have accomplished that, we go.  It’s almost like being contracted for a certain period of time to do a job, only thing is we often don’t know when our or another person’s contract will end.

So much in our lives often happens for reasons that many of us don’t get to even see until much further down the track and it can be difficult at times to remain trusting of that process.  It is like we live in a shadow world here. A world that has had for many a long time a blanket of fear, greed and ignorance, separation, power and control thrown over it with many only starting in recent times to lift that blanket off themselves and consequently the world.

It occurs to me that it is rather odd that we put our faith and trust in something that cannot be seen, which we think is external to us, like what we refer to as “God” and yet we cannot trust that the folk who come into our lives who we can see, do so to show us something about ourselves we haven’t yet seen.

It seems to me that a bit of a battle also occurs within when our logic and our conditioning tells us one thing yet our gut tells us another. Our logic can come up with any reasonable justification for anything we like to tell ourselves and at the end of the day it’s all just a story but how many folk actually stop the head chatter long enough to essentially feel, listen to and trust our own gut feelings regardless of what anyone tells us?  How many of us rush into situations due to feeling needy, pressured or even guilty then once we’ve dived in wonder how the hell can I now get out of this?

Experience tells me gut feelings are our warning alarm bells that come from what we refer to as “God”, “Goddess” etc.  The more we pay attention to them, like building a muscle, the stronger they get, the more frequently they are felt.  They, along with synchronicity and looking at all symbolically as an aspect of self rather than literally, are things we can use to guide us as we do our Earth Walks.

Generally speaking our whole western cultured education system is learning about data and rules and then being tested on our ability to remember them.  It’s all mostly head work so many of us have been conditioned to be very busy in our heads not even pay attention to what I call gut nav.  Much of what we learn in school becomes rather useless when we leave that environment for we are not taught life skills, just facts, figures and numbers and we are conditioned to learn what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour within the societies we live in.  Our western conditioning is also geared around do well at school, i.e. follow the rules and pass all their tests, then perhaps go on to further study, get a good paying job, buy lots of things, perhaps travel for a bit, find a mate, “settle down”, have children, get yourself into a bucket load of debt and then live happily ever after – hmmm doesn’t really quite work like that does it?

Perhaps it doesn’t work that way for ever so many because that is what exists in our heads, what has been drummed into many of us from an early age, it is not what exists in our hearts and how would many of us even know what exists in our hearts when we have been told from a very young age, generally speaking, absolutely zip shit about listening to them and trusting our own gut nav to help us navigate our paths in life?

We constantly, mostly, seek outside ourselves for answers, opinions from others when we are needing advice and validation of our own self-worth, never having really being taught how to listen to and trust our own inner workings and gut nav in daily situations we find ourselves in.  We most definitely, a lot of the time, put our trust into others and not ourselves.  Then we get our noses all out of whack when someone lets us down due to our own expectations which live in our heads.

Many speak of unconditional love – i.e. meaning loving folk without conditions/expectations attached.  Love is just love and it is not something that we have been conditioned to feel and live for conditioning lives in our heads, not our hearts.  So for me the term unconditional love takes on a whole new meaning i.e. Love is not that which we have been conditioned to believe it is.  Our expectations more than anything are what truly let us down when we trust them and others more than we do our own hearts and gut nav.

So very often we get angry with and blame others for whatever we feel as if it is their fault they have let us down.  Really we are just angry with ourselves for allowing that to occur due to our expectations.  Rarely are we honest enough with ourselves to say to ourselves I participated in that situation for whatever reason and start to dig deeper into ourselves to find the gold nugget of learning or even healing the experience has given us.

At the end of the day trust in our own Self and in life is what is learned, usually the hard way, and when we can trust ourselves way more than we can by putting our blind faith and trust into others, we have freedom from blame, expectations and we have peace.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© C. O’Connor.

Grab your free copy of my Dreamwork Booklet at http://bit.ly/CheocoNews when you sign up for my monthly Newsletter.

*´☾☆☽`*•

#Cheryl O’Connor.
#Holistic #Counsellor, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in #Dream #Analysis/#Conscious #Dreaming & #Shamanic Journeying.
* #Reiki/#Seichim Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis #Meditation.

Website @ http://www.cheocoenterprises.com

My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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Image credit: Pixabay.

GRATITUDE

We often give thanks to those who have been kind, loving, and supportive and who have helped us when we have needed help. It is the most natural thing for us to be and to feel in such circumstances.

For myself and I don’t doubt others, there have been many in my life who have been there to help me pick up the pieces when the shit has literally hit the fan.

So many people I have met along the way whose nature it is to help others. These types of people warm our hearts and restore our faith in the good we know exists in humanity and we have every reason to be grateful for their presence in our lives and in the world.

For all the wonderful people I have shared parts of my journey with there have been just as many people who caused me pain, tore me down, abused me, hit me, yelled at me, hassled me, bullied me, made me ill, made me feel small, scared me, broke my heart, ignored me, told me I wasn’t good enough, told me I was wrong, stupid, pathetic, crazy, an idiot, criticised me, gossiped about me, broke my heart, caused me trauma and distress, caused things I had spent a huge amount of time, effort and energy creating to be destroyed and bla bla bla.

Many in this world seem to think that success is about having “things”, the more they have the happier they think they will be. Many see success in terms of how much money one accumulates or how high up the corporate ladder they climb or even how well known they become. Success in this world is often portrayed as being linked with money – the more you have the more successful you are.

Personally I don’t see any of that and never have done for I see success as being the ability to feel just as much love and gratitude for those who have treated us badly as we have for those who have, without a second thought, gone out of their way to assist us whenever we have needed whatever we have needed.

For it seems to me it is a combination of both types of people who show us what we truly need to know about ourselves, who give us strength, teach us love and forgiveness and who help us become our full potential.

When we feel total love and gratitude for all that has been, is and is yet to be, and can truly see the gifts of love given by those who we feel have treated us badly – we have peace and well personally I don’t know of any greater success than that.

Cheers, Cheryl.
Copyright. C. O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Image: Valerie Sjodin

THE POWER OF DREAMS & CHILDREN

Beautiful Child speak to me of the magic I no longer see.

Show me how to live again with joy, love and laughter

not judgement and blame.

Tell me all your stories so I may find my way

inward to the Kingdom of Heaven that in each of us does lay.

I am often asked how parents can help ease the anxiety of the intense feelings children can sometimes experience in dream state and upon waking.

There are many ways in which we can assist.  Firstly adults need to realise that DREAMS ARE REAL!  They are not just products of over-active imaginations.  If they are treated as real events by adults, and children have the freedom to express their experiences both waking and sleeping, the children learn that they are safe and they don’t have to carry around the feelings of their experience, nor do they necessarily need to have repeating dream experiences occur.

Just because us adults cannot see the monster hiding under the bed, or the “imaginary” friend, the fairies and whatever else children can see does not mean for one second that those things do not exist.  Children are far more “open” than we are and have not lost their connection like we have to Spirit.

Sometimes a dream can be too scary or horrible for children to talk about and so other ways of expression need to be looked at.  The following applies as much to adults as it does to children.

A special book in which a child can write and/or draw whatever they need to is useful.  Painting, modelling, poetry or any other creative medium can also be used.  Drama has wonderful results when the child plays out the part of the monster or whatever he/she chooses to from the dream, with adults encouraging the child to take control of the situation.

A delightful example of how this works so beautifully came to me some time ago.  I read about an innovative school teacher in Tasmania who instead of the normal “show and tell” sessions has introduced “Dream Discussion”.  She stated that she found it helpful to class morale and co-operation because the children realise that they all have similar experiences, feelings and fears.

The story that was included in this article of how effective Dream Work with children is, follows:-

A young girl had a Wolf visit her in her dreams every night, so the teacher did some role playing with this child and they discovered (with the child playing the role of the Wolf) that the only reason he came to her all the time was because she was “so easy to scare.”

The girl proceeded to draw and colour the Wolf as she had seen him in her dreams, she then screwed the drawing up, jumped up and down on it a few times, tore it to pieces and put it in the bin.

That night the Wolf came to her in a dream and he had bandages all over him.   The next night again he returned but this time he was in a wheel chair.  The third night he came on a stretcher and told her she’d won, she’d finally killed him and then he died.

I’m sure much to the little girl’s relief.

Another useful form of expression is “Dream Talk”.  I usually find that over breakfast is a good time for this whilst it is still fresh in the child’s mind.  If a child knows they can talk about their dreams and not be ridiculed they will do so frequently and usually in great detail.  Adults can then use this dream information, if they choose to, to gain a clearer insight into what is REALLY going on with the child or children in their care.

You’ll be in for many pleasant surprises, challenges and sometimes amazement if you start practising this regularly.  I have personally found in the past that my daughter’s self-esteem, sense of self and her ability to find her own solutions to life’s challenges was greatly enhanced by both of us working with her dreams.

“Enjoy your children as your teachers,

not for what you necessarily wanted to learn

but for what you needed to discover.”

Mother Teresa.

© C. O’Connor 2013.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

Image sourced from internet – creator unknown.

THE WISDOM HIDDEN IN FAIRY TALES

More Than Bedtime Stories

Most people think of fairy tales as sweet bedtime stories for children, pleasant little fables to pass the time before sleep. But when we look beneath the surface, their layers of meaning open like a map, guiding us through the inner and outer landscapes of our lives.

The Forest and the Journey

In almost every classic tale, the storyline begins the same way: a young soul leaves “home”, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance, and ventures into the wider world. Along the way, they face trials and temptations: witches and wolves, dragons and goblins, wicked stepmothers and treacherous strangers. They may be imprisoned, lost in the forest, or lulled into a deep sleep.

The forest is one of the most enduring symbols in fairy tales. It is not simply scenery, but a living teacher. To enter the dark forest is to step into the unknown, leaving behind the familiar and the safe. It is here that old identities are stripped away, and we must learn to trust a deeper compass of soul. Every shadow and every clearing becomes a guide, showing us that what looks like confusion or danger is also the fertile ground of transformation. Rivers, storms, mountains, and caves serve the same role, thresholds that reshape us if we dare to enter.

Yet, just as often, help arrives, through animals, elemental beings, wise old helpers, or mysterious friends. And when they finally “return home,” they are not the same as when they left. For home is not a physical place at all, it is a return to one’s true self. The journey strips us bare, tests our faith, and teaches us who we really are.

It is important to remember these stories were never meant to be harmless diversions. Long before they were bound in books, fairy tales lived as oral traditions, told around firesides to transmit wisdom, warnings, and hope. They were teaching maps, guiding communities through danger, instinct, resilience, and transformation.

Villains, Helpers and Thresholds

And those so-called “villains”? I do not see them as villains at all. Patriarchy turned them into shadows, wolves, witches, dragons, fearsome figures to frighten us away from their power. But really, it is our own power they mirror back to us: instinct, intuition, raw life force, and the ability to transform. When we meet these figures within, we reclaim parts of ourselves long suppressed. The Witch becomes the Crone, carrying wisdom for thresholds and endings. The Wolf becomes a fierce protector of boundaries. And the Dragon? The Dragon is the guardian of our own inner treasure and power, waiting for us to grow strong enough to step forward and claim it.

Fairy tales also remind us of endings. Sometimes people leave our lives through choice, distance, or even death. As painful as this is, symbolically it may reflect a deeper truth: their energy is no longer aligned with where we are on our journey. In this way, every loss is also a threshold, one that asks us to meet more of ourselves, to grow into new awareness, and to walk forward carrying what was true in love.

Fairy tales remind us too that help often comes in overlooked forms. A talking bird, a humble servant, or a creature of the wild may hold the key to survival. The “simpleton,” mocked for being foolish, is often the one who succeeds where others fail, precisely because they trust what is small, quiet, or easily dismissed. These tales teach us that wisdom rarely arrives dressed in the power we expect. It slips in through the ordinary, reminding us that the sacred hides in plain sight.

Windows, Mirrors and Doorways

Windows, mirrors, and doorways are some of the ways life shows us these Selves. A window may let us see through to where another is truly coming from or reflect ourselves back depending on the angle of light. A mirror shows us our own reflection, sometimes sharply, sometimes kindly. And a doorway? That is the threshold another offers us into a new awareness. Often, whatever we see in another exists within us too, otherwise how could we see it? Some mirror to us where we are presently at and others where we have been at some point in time. Often, in any one interaction, all three roles are present at once. These are not accidents, they are guides.

The True Happily Ever After

Just like the characters in these tales, many of us spend years searching outside ourselves for happiness. We might long for “one true love” to sweep us away, believing they will complete us. And for a while, it might feel like they do. But no matter how romantic the promise, no person can be our everything, especially when we have yet to become that for ourselves.

This is where so many of us misunderstood the “happily ever after.” Disney did not exactly sell us a lie, rather, our culture mistranslated the deeper truth. Long before Disney, the tales themselves were pointing inward. The Prince and Princess were never really about someone else rescuing us. They are symbols of our own inner masculine and feminine. But growing up in a patriarchal system, we were taught to externalise everything: happiness, success, love, even salvation. No wonder so many felt or feel disillusioned when the promise did not hold.

When we look symbolically, the “kiss” that wakes the sleeping one is not about romance at all. It is about awakening, when our masculine energy of logic and clarity meets our feminine energy of intuition and creativity. In that inner union, something comes alive. Balance is restored. We no longer need someone else to complete us, though we may share life with another from a place of wholeness. This is the true happily ever after.

Every fairy tale also carries the rhythm of life itself, descent and return, death and rebirth, endings and beginnings. Sleeping Beauty is not just about a princess in slumber; it is about the necessity of rest and renewal before awakening to new life. Snow White’s glass coffin mirrors the suspended state we sometimes find ourselves in, when part of us has died but the rebirth has not yet arrived. To live consciously is to honour these cycles rather than resist them, recognising that every ending makes space for a new beginning.

The Hero Has Always Been Us

At the heart of it all, every fairy tale whispers the same truth: the hero has always been us. The dangers, helpers, and transformations we read about are mirrors of our own trials and triumphs. The quest is not about rescuing or being rescued, it is about remembering who we truly are. And in the end, to “return home” is to return to that true self, whole, awake, and fully alive.

When a child asks for a story, it may be the soul’s way of speaking, theirs, and yours. Children often choose the very tale that carries the medicine both need to hear. A bedtime request can be far more than whimsy; it can be a mirror of the family’s journey, a whisper of what the soul is trying to surface. In this way, our children become our teachers, reminding us of the truths we may have forgotten.

But we cannot hear these truths if our minds are always noisy. When we chatter constantly, whether in our heads or with our mouths, we block the whispers of Soul and nature wisdom. We need stillness. We need silence. As the saying goes: “When we speak, we only repeat what we know. When we listen, we may learn something new.”

For all of us, no matter our profession or path, this symbolic lens matters. We may find ourselves trapped in a “sleeping spell” of grief, stalked by a “wolf” of fear, or longing for the “helper” who reminds us of our strength and true nature. Fairy tales can be bridges, helping us name our inner landscapes in ways that ordinary language cannot.

The original tales of the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen hold far more than quaint moral lessons. They speak to the courage, faith, and trust needed to walk through life’s dark forests and return with wisdom. And they remind us that when a child asks for a certain story, it may be speaking directly to your soul as much as theirs, holding a mirror to where you are on your own journey.

After all, the so-called “real world” is itself the greatest fairy tale of all, an unfolding adventure, full of shadows and helpers, mirrors and doorways, dragons and wolves, Crone wisdom and childlike wonder. And the ending? Well, that is always up to us.

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✨ Reflective Questions

  • Which “villain” or shadow figure, Wolf, Witch, Dragon, feels most alive for you right now? What part of your own power might they be guarding?

  • When was the last time you found yourself standing at a symbolic window, mirror, or doorway? What did it show you about yourself?

  • In what ways are you seeking “happily ever after” outside yourself, and how might you turn inward to find it instead?

  • Where in your life could stillness or silence help you hear what the story of your own soul is trying to say?

  • As the hero has always been you, what chapter of your journey are you living through right now?

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📚 Recommended Reading

On the Feminine, the Crone, and Women’s Stories

  • Women Who Run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

  • Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, Jean Shinoda Bolen

  • The Crone: Woman of Age, Wisdom, and Power, Barbara G. Walker

On the Masculine & Feminine Archetypes

  • King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

  • The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock (a counterpart to Campbell’s Hero’s Journey)

  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

On Fairy Tales & Symbolism

  • The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, Bruno Bettelheim

  • Iron John: A Book About Men, Robert Bly (draws from Grimm’s tales)

  • Baba Yaga’s Assistant, Marika McCoola (a modern take on the old witch archetype)

On Myth, Archetypes & Shadow Work

  • Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, Robert A. Johnson

  • The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

On Dragons, Treasure, and Inner Power

  • Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity, Robert L. Moore

  • The Dragon’s Treasure: A Dreamer’s Guide to Inner Discovery, Tian Dayton

  • The Book of Dragons, Edith Nesbit (for a lighter, symbolic entry point)

On Silence, Listening & Stillness

  • The Sacred Embrace of Listening, Kay Lindahl

  • Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise, Thich Nhat Hanh

  • The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson (includes silence as a transformative practice)

© Cheryl O’Connor, 1995, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

•´☾☆☽`•

 

DRUMMING UP A DREAM

Drum

“Sacred Drum aligns me with the heart beat of the Earth expanding and taking me deep inside to experience my true worth. Connecting my awareness consciously with the Source of all Creation, creates a feeling within and without of peace, bliss and jubilation.”

My Workshops are based on Native American/Shamanic practices.  The Drum and the Didgeridoo are the oldest instruments known to humanity which assist you to enter Dreaming consciously, quickly and safely.  In Aboriginal Culture the playing of the Didgeridoo is “men’s business” and out of my respect for that culture I never have or will put one to my lips, I do however use the Drum.

After the first session of drumming which usually lasts about 20 minutes, participants draw one image and formulate one question regarding what they have experienced.  They then pair up (if numbers allow and if they wish to) and both hold one person’s image and question in their minds whilst I drum again.  This is where “magic” truly occurs for both enter the same/similar dream and experience whatever is needed.  After that drumming session we share what has occurred and participants then enter dreaming again holding the other person’s image and question in their minds.  We then again share what has occurred.

To enter Dreaming consciously is a truly amazing experience and each participant receives whatever it is they need for them at that particular moment in their lives, whether that be re-connection to a part of Self that needs to be re-membered, realising their full connection to the natural world and all that exists, meeting with their Ancestors or Guides, or discovering and journeying with their totem or power animal/s.  Like life, the possibilities of what can occur in this space are only limited to your own perception and beliefs.

After this part of the workshop is completed we then break for some healthy sustenance and re-group for the second part of the workshop which is where questions are asked, dreams are worked with, techniques taught for working with your dreams and a general sharing occurs.

Cost per person is $50 and in order to secure your place a non-refundable deposit of $10 is required at the time of booking.  The balance is to be paid on the day, before we start.

It is suggested you do not consume alcohol or recreational drugs 24 hours prior and you only have a very light breakfast.  Anyone who appears to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs will not be permitted to participate.

You will need to bring writing and drawing materials but the other things listed here are optional, if you require a bit of comfort whilst you are dreaming, and if you have any queries please contact me:-

  • something to lay on, like a yoga mat.
  • something to cover your eyes with, if you need it.
  • a light blanket.
  • warm socks.

If you would like to participate in my next Workshop or would like me to come to you to conduct one please email me at Cheoco99@gmail.com or private message me at Facebook – Cheoco Enterprises.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

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Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au