Australia

Re-Membering the Self: Healing What Was Forgotten

Have you ever felt like pieces of you are missing—like you walk through life with invisible gaps you can’t explain?

This is the quiet legacy of trauma. Our cultural conditioning, childhood wounds, and the unspoken energies of fear and abuse cause us to shut parts of ourselves away in order to survive. When the pain feels too much to bear, fragments of our being retreat into the subconscious, creating protective walls that shield us from further harm. These fragments remain hidden, but they continue to shape our lives—surfacing as re-actions instead of conscious responses.¹

We may find ourselves repeating patterns we do not want, pushing people away when we long for closeness, or filling inner holes with addictions, distractions, or relationships that never quite heal the emptiness. This is not because we are broken. It is because parts of us are waiting to come home.

The Body Remembers

Trauma is not just stored in memory—it is stored in the body.² ³ Muscles tighten, breathing shortens, the nervous system learns to expect danger. What could not be felt at the time becomes lodged in the cells of our being. Over the years, these unprocessed fragments may create illness or dis-ease—literally, a body not at ease with itself.

To become whole, we must re-member. This is more than recalling with the mind. It is bringing lost parts back into the membrane of our being, allowing ourselves to feel what was once too terrifying or overwhelming to feel. Only then can the energy move through the body and transform.

The Dreaming as Gateway

The Dreaming is one of the most powerful gateways for this re-membering. Some call it dreaming, astral travel, shamanic journeying, meditation, past life regression, or even moments of drift between sleep and waking.⁴ ⁵ All are expressions of the same expanded field of consciousness, where the boundaries of time dissolve and all is now.

Indigenous wisdom teaches that Dreaming is not confined to the past but is a living reality in which ancestors, land, and spirit continually speak.⁶ ⁷ Western depth psychology echoes this, recognising the dreamworld as the symbolic landscape of the psyche where hidden parts of the self may return.⁸ ⁹

Through The Dreaming, we gain access to the fragments of self split off by trauma. These encounters may appear as dream figures, symbolic landscapes, or re-enactments of old wounds. By engaging with them—through dream journaling, reflection, or guided processes—we can shift the patterns not only of this lifetime but also those carried across generations.¹⁰

Healing Across Time

We cannot change what happened in the past. But we can change how the past lives within us. When we meet a reactive trigger in daily life as if it were a dream symbol, we open the door to healing. Instead of repeating the same re-action, we can respond differently—re-writing the imprint, releasing the body’s grip, and restoring flow to the soul.

Transgenerational trauma research shows that unhealed wounds ripple down through families, shaping the lives of children and grandchildren.¹¹ Yet the reverse is also true: when one person chooses to re-member and transform their pain, the healing radiates outward, offering release to both ancestors and descendants. In this way, personal re-membering becomes collective re-membering.

Returning to Wholeness

As we call these parts home, the walls we built for protection soften. Instead of holes we try to fill, we discover fullness already within us. Instead of patterns that sabotage, we find space for conscious choice.

This is not easy work. It asks us to feel what we once ran from, to sit with grief, pain, fear, and sadness. But on the other side of the feeling lies integration. And with integration comes freedom—the freedom of being wholly ourselves.

We were never truly broken. We were only waiting to be whole again.

Reflection for You

Is there a dream, memory, or reactive moment that has been returning to you? Sit with it gently. Treat it as you would a dream symbol. Ask: What part of me is calling to come home? Then listen—not with the mind alone, but with the body and the heart.

Each fragment re-membered is life-force returned.

© Cheryl O’Connor, 2014 and 2025. All rights reserved.
Please do not reproduce without permission. Sharing with credit and a link is welcome.

References

  1. Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. New York: Basic Books.

  2. Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Viking.

  3. Ogden, P., & Fisher, J. (2015). Sensorimotor psychotherapy: Interventions for trauma and attachment. New York: W. W. Norton.

  4. Hillman, J. (1979). The dream and the underworld. New York: Harper & Row.

  5. Jung, C. G. (1960). The structure and dynamics of the psyche (Collected Works Vol. 8). Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

  6. Rose, D. B. (1996). Nourishing terrains: Australian Aboriginal views of landscape and wilderness. Canberra: Australian Heritage Commission.

  7. Atkinson, J. (2002). Trauma trails, recreating song lines: The transgenerational effects of trauma in Indigenous Australia. North Melbourne: Spinifex Press.

  8. Yunkaporta, T. (2019). Sand talk: How Indigenous thinking can save the world. Melbourne: Text Publishing.

  9. Nakata, M. (2007). Disciplining the savages, savaging the disciplines. Canberra: Aboriginal Studies Press.

  10. Watkins, M., & Shulman, H. (2008). Toward psychologies of liberation. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

  11. Danieli, Y. (Ed.). (1998). International handbook of multigenerational legacies of trauma. New York: Springer.

VIOLENT DREAMS

Many times I am asked about grotesque and violent dreams.  I have found that when we are acting violently towards another or many in a dream it can represent an aspect or aspects of self that we are fighting with or trying to kill off.  Indeed the battle within!

Sadly and far too frequently this battle within ourselves that we are subconsciously fighting is projected outwardly towards others during our daily lives, with us usually totally unaware that is what is happening, rather than us dealing with it internally, simply because many of us have never been taught how to effectively deal with it internally.

In order to be whole, which for me is at peace and ease with one’s Self, we need to accept, integrate, forgive and love ALL aspects of ourselves, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.  Not something I believe many of us have been shown or taught how to do and most who seek “spiritual enlightenment” or “wholeness” have a tendency to focus purely on the light.

Our world consists of polarities and does appear to me to require a balance of both “dark” and “light” – just as there is a perfect balance of daylight and night time hours in our days, so too can the same exist within all of us.  Most of us are somewhat out of balance though and as we do the inner work and balance ourselves our external reality can and does change to reflect that.

There is enormous personal freedom gained when we cease to see things as good or bad, black or white, light or dark and can see that all just is however it is for whatever reason.  There is only one thing in life we can change and that is ourselves as the only constant in life I have found yet occurs frequently – change.

We may have opinions, judgments, beliefs and often strong ones at that, about certain behaviours that occur but at the end of the day all we can ever truly do if we don’t like what we are seeing or experiencing is look at anything that occurs and our re-action to it and ask “What is this showing me or teaching me about myself?”  We have no power to change anything other than our immediate re-actions to what appears to be external to us by becoming more aware of our re-actions and then doing the necessary internal work to transform them into responses, empowering ourselves and making clearer boundaries concerning what behaviour we do and do not want to experience in our lives.

Expectation is a prime example – whenever we expect anything from anyone else and they are not in a position to deliver many feel hurt and get angry or upset with the other person but in truth who are we really angry with?  Yet when we expect absolutely nothing from anyone the most amazing and wonderful things occur in our lives seemingly quite miraculously all by themselves at times.

When we reach this stage of our personal development where all just is accepted as it is and we are not living in the duality of highs and lows, right and wrong etc., not making judgments or assumptions about anyone or anything, it makes it impossible to blame or judge anyone or anything for whatever it is we personally experience.  All just becomes part of the whole to which we are innately connected.

We do not know for a second why something may be as it is or is occurring as it is, all we can understand or attempt to try to understand is that all occurs for reasons we may not yet see the bigger picture of until we are a little further down the track.  None of us can truly live in hindsight, we can however live much more easily and more peacefully with foresight when we are truly living in the moment of right here, right now.

If for eg you see a train coming at you, you get out of the way.  You cannot however have not seen the train, been hit by it and then think I should have gotten out the way of that.  We have an internal warning system called intuition which speaks to us in the form of gut feelings and by way of dreams/images/vision/synchronicity and the more we pay attention to it the easier our lives flow more beautifully. The more we listen and act accordingly on this inner guidance the stronger it becomes.  It is when we aren’t even aware it exists or when we refuse to listen to that internal alarm bell that just went off that we experience drama and stress or get stuck in situations that truly do not bring us peace.

Guns are the most frequently asked about symbol in relation to violent dreams and dependant on the dreamer and their own personal experience with guns they very frequently represent some aspect of yourself having power over you – would you argue with anyone who held a gun at you?

Past lives in which wars, torture, mutilation, rape and murder have occurred (often waking you with your own screams or a sensation of fear which slams your consciousness back into your body or panic/anxiety and even sweeting or in tears on occasion) can also make themselves known in these dreams and as with all dreams you need to firstly go with your own “gut feeling” and look at the whole experience symbolically, treating each aspect in your dream as an aspect of yourself, not as something or someone external to you.

Personally I believe that these kinds of dreams which can become nightmares can also be stimulated by the excessive and in my opinion somewhat unnecessary violence that many of us choose to watch, courtesy of the electronic media.

How anyone can expect to have a peaceful night’s sleep when they have just filled their consciousness with visions and sounds of explosions, rapes, violence, fear and murders just prior to going to bed is beyond my comprehension.  Just walk into any DVD store and see how very many movies exist that are all based on themes of violence, horror, fear, fighting, kidnapping, assault, abuse and killing.

I find it absolutely amazing that many of us can sit in our lounge rooms feeling upset because of the violence we witness happening daily all over the world, which many choose to watch and which many choose to give their support to the very industries and governments that validate, justify and glorify such terror.

Many of us hold concern for the victims we see nightly on the news and yet we wouldn’t even know if a person living near us was needing assistance or in fact was still alive.  Sadly nine times out of ten most of us wouldn’t even care.

Maybe it is a good thing we experience violent dreams occasionally in order to fully feel the fear that similar daily actions would produce in ourselves and others, so that we truly know and understand the horror and senselessness of violence and war.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

 

MENTAL ILLNESS OR… SPIRITUAL CRISIS?

For many years now people everywhere have been and still are “… undergoing a profound personal transformation associated with spiritual opening. Under favourable circumstances, this process results in emotional healing, a radical shift in values, and a profound awareness of the mystical dimension of existence. For some, these changes are gradual and relatively smooth, but for others they can be so rapid and dramatic that they interfere with effective everyday functioning, creating tremendous inner turmoil. Unfortunately, many traditional health-care professionals do not recognise the potential of these crises; they often see them as manifestations of mental disease and respond with stigmatising labels, suppressive drugs and even institutionalisation.”

Personally, I see what is occurring for many as being part of our evolution as human beings. It is like we have all been sleep walking for a very long time and slowly, one by one, we are all starting to be shaken up in order to wake up.

In 1992 I faced life threatening illness and all medical professionals seen for a period of six months kept reiterating that there “is nothing wrong with you”. I was experiencing many physical symptoms that eventually led me to a diagnosis by a naturopath and acupuncturist of “a blocked small intestine and kidneys that were barely functioning”. What accompanied my many physical symptoms of migraines, shortness of breath, constant exhaustion, welts emerging like hives all over my legs, chronic lower back pain, menstrual cramping that put me to bed, fluid retention in my body that created so much pain it brought me to tears when I took my bra off at the end of the day and made walking difficult due to the swelling in my feet, insomnia, a total inability to eat more than one very small meal a day and chronic constipation, were nights and sometimes days full of the most bizarre lucid dreaming experiences and waking reality visions I had ever had.

I was also experiencing major depression, suicidal ideology, was very re-active and angry and I was experiencing waves of enormous grief for no particular reason. Further, I was also experiencing hearing voices. There were many days when I did actually think I was going “insane”.

Now…. for someone whose whole conditioning had been you go to a doctor when you are not well and they will help you it was a huge challenge for me to even consider there may be an alternative but after six months of just hearing from several doctors, most of whom treated me like a bored housewife with nothing better to do than waste their time, “there is nothing wrong with you, here have some Prozac” it was all pretty hard to swallow. It was out of pure desperation, knowing full well something was definitely not right and feeling like I was indeed dying, as my body was shutting down more and more each day that I chose to consider an alternative to western medicine in the form of acupuncture and naturopathy.

That then led me to a huge range of other natural healing modalities over time that worked brilliantly for me as I went through healing process after healing process. Some days during the six months it took for me to find someone who could and did actually help me though, it took all my will just to get up each morning and get my daughter to school, after which I would come home and return to bed as the effects of it all were so very debilitating.

It was also at this time, due to the visions, the voices and the bizarre dreaming experiences that I sought the assistance of a Psychologist. That too proved to be a costly useless exercise that lead me nowhere fast. Several folk claimed I was experiencing “hallucinations” or would ask “what drugs are you on?!”, and the whole deal for me from the western psychological and medical viewpoint was not only was there nothing wrong with me but that I needed anti-depressant medication to “fix” the nothing that was wrong with me. It all didn’t make much sense to me and so an alternative choice, if I was to survive all this, was my only choice. It was also an extremely lonely time as no-one I initially sought help from seemed to have the vaguest idea of what was happening to and for me.

What emerged from it all was what I can only describe as being the wildest ride of my life. The lucid dreaming increased in frequency, as did the waking visions and the voices and I became aware of a far greater and more profound reality than the one I had been conditioned to believe existed. Essentially whilst I had many physical symptoms I had to dig really deep within myself to find cause, not just treat symptoms, for true healing to occur, which did occur over time not just physically, but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

It was at this time I came across the only book that shed any light whatsoever on what was truly going on for me, The Stormy Search for the Self – A guide to Personal Growth through Transformational Crisis (Understanding and Coping with Spiritual Emergency). This book has been described as “A valuable tool for therapists and an aid to explorers” by Brain/Mind Bulletin; “A brilliant and practical guide to inner transformation” by Jack Kornfield, Buddhist teacher, author of Seeking the Heart of Wisdom and “A fascinating account of transformational processes. Essential reading for anyone interested in creative personal and social change” by Frances Vaughan, Ph. D. co-editor of Beyond Ego. For me, the wealth of wisdom and knowledge it contains is so very valuable it still sits in my library today.

It was by reading this book that I discovered what I was actually experiencing was what is known as a Shamanic Crisis. It is a crisis indeed because it took every ounce of my will, determination, trust, faith, intellect and courage to come out the other side of it. ” Anthropologists refer to the dramatic episodes of non-ordinary states of consciousness that mark the beginning of the healing career of many shamans as the “shamanic illness”.

“This experience of total annihilation is typically followed by resurrection and rebirth….” “Also characteristic is a rich spectrum of transpersonal experiences that provide profound insights into realms and dimensions of reality that are ordinarily hidden to human perception and intellect. Some of them mediate profound connection with and attunement to the creative energies of the universe, the forces of nature, and the world of animals and plants. Others involve various deities, spirit guides, and particularly power animals – helpers and protectors in animal form.”

The death pull of the crisis and all the processes I was going through were almost overwhelming as I experienced many a “Dark Night of the Soul”. Death was so very real and also very necessary because I, as I had known me to be for 28 years of my life, was indeed dying. All that I had previously been told was real and true about myself and about life wasn’t. It is therefore, in my mind, quite understandable that someone experiencing such a profound transformational crisis as I was experiencing may indeed think that physical death is the only solution they have. For it took every ounce of strength and will I could muster not to succumb to and act on the pull of death physically.

Whilst it is our western mainstream conditioning to deal with depression, suicidal ideology, what we term as hallucinations, hearing voices and awareness of non-ordinary states of reality with drugs or by institutionalising those who are experiencing something like this, if you are experiencing anything like it, or you have a client who mentions any of these types of things to you I strongly urge you to read “The Stormy Search for the Self” if you are not already aware of it, purely because in my opinion and from my perspective of all that I have personally lived through and experienced, masking symptoms with drugs, which just makes these processes take longer and does not treat cause, or by shutting people away who are experiencing “Spiritual crisis” is doing them way more harm than it is good.

© Cheryl O’Connor – Holistic Counsellor 2014.

Quoted excerpts taken from
Christina & Stanislav Grof, M.D – The Stormy Search for the Self -1990
Published by J.P Putnam’s Sons
200 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 100016

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014. #Cheoco

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive my Dreamwork booklet to help you re-connect with your dreaming reality, give you practical tips on working with your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

SPEAKING OUR TRUTH

I shared a quote on my Facebook Page Cheoco Enterprises some time ago now “Speak your truth EVEN if your voice shakes.”

I did so because it reminded me of many events in my life when I have needed to do this but one event, a very long time ago now, came to mind most when I saw this quote.

It was at a time when I was faced with one of those situations where you truly do not know what it is best to do, speak or remain silent. So as always my general rule of “When in doubt do nothing” applied until I was certain what my action would or would not be.

I also shared that quote because the memory of the particular situation brought with it how very valuable it can be to know what certain things mean for you symbolically in this so-called waking reality. In my last article I shared with you the discovery of the value of treating life as a dream and how it assists us to navigate our lives with a depth of vision and guidance which many of us wouldn’t normally usually even consider.

In relation to speaking my truth I came to a realisation many, many moons ago that when we act with honesty and integrity all we do is right after endless debates with myself where part of me would be wondering whether I was doing the right thing in whatever situation I was dealing with. Self-doubt would often debate with “knowing” but self-doubt is a whole other article.

The situation I was faced with was one where I knew that to speak would change a very limited view a group of people held about something on one hand and on the other to speak also felt like a huge betrayal of trust. To share what I thought I needed to and was feeling compelled to share would, I sensed, be of benefit to many as the realisation of an entirely different cause for certain behaviour would definitely have a ripple/flow on effect that would then assist even more people. The other aspect to it all was that I was still very raw emotionally from the truth I had discovered around the whole thing.

The dilemma in head and heart I faced was a challenging one indeed, to say the least. I had made the decision that I could not remain silent due to the many that would be assisted by what I had to say and I recall sitting outside a building waiting to speak to this group of people. Inside I was a trembling mess as my head and heart were both pulling me in different directions now, heart saying stay and speak as you have organised to do, head and fear saying get the hell out of here – NOW!! It was a moment of great anxiety as two parts of me were still debating even though a decision had been made and of the observer part of myself listening to this debate being caught smack bang in the middle of a flight or fight response from the other two parts of me.

It was in the midst of this mind/heart dilemma with only minutes to go before I would be called into the meeting that a Crow cawed several times. Crow for me is always symbolic of speaking my truth – there is much more to Crow but I can cover that in a later article. For now, speaking truth is what is most relevant about Crow’s presence in this story.

As I looked to the Sky to see where Crow was situated I found him in the East. Direction of new beginnings for me, along with a huge cloud shaped like an Elephant. As I watched this Elephant cloud its form started changing and it went from having its trunk lowered to rising it within a matter of moments as an Elephant does when they trumpet. At the moment when the trunk was at its highest point Crow cawed out again.

The message was very simple – be strong like the Elephant and speak your truth for new beginnings will come from it.

So yep I stayed. Walking into that room was hard as my legs were shaking and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. Speaking was difficult due to the sadness that was emerging at the same time for it is rare I can speak when I am releasing sadness and as my voice quivered and shook and my eyes leaked like rapidly dripping taps, I could see through my blurred vision by the stunned looks on the faces of all present what they had heard and seen the truth of, had indeed been a major wakeup call that they would now most certainly need to act on and I left that meeting knowing with everything in me I had done what was right.

There has been much of value I have learned and been gifted with during my life but I think and feel one of the greatest gifts I have ever received was the moment I realised I didn’t at all have to have a dream to assist me in guiding my life. That life constantly speaks to me through images, sounds, synchronicity and signs and what those things mean to me symbolically.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

LIFE AS A DREAM

“Everything that comes to me
is a reflection of Self so I see
that as within, so too without
leaving me with no doubt
of the work on Self that must be done
in order for Humanity to be consciously One.

Judging none, accepting all,
surrendering to the rise and fall,
fully feeling the pain inside,
from myself I can never hide,
and as I become One with my Soul
I begin to realise my only role
is to love and respect all that’s around me
but firstly love and respect for myself there must be.”

It was during a time of non-dreaming when I was needing answers and none were forthcoming by their usual method of delivery i.e. dreaming, that one day I thought I wonder what would happen if I started treating things, people, events and animals that crossed my path just as I would a dream. Would the answers I was seeking then come to me?

So with great curiosity I made a decision to start looking at life in that way whenever I had a re-action (re-acting out an old subconscious behavioural pattern I didn’t particularly like or experiencing intense emotions i.e. what folk normally refer to as a reaction rather than a response) or with whatever I encountered, bird, reptile, beast, the wind and whatever direction it was coming from, people who crossed my path, traffic lights, slogans and signs that “spoke” to me, numbers, rooms, street names, clouds that formed very definite shapes, types of trees – essentially everything that occurred or crossed my path in my so called “waking” reality in this physical realm of logical and rational thinking.

If for example a water pipe broke, a light bulb went out, a glass smashed, a door became stuck, if I got a red light run or a green light run etc., etc., I treated all exactly as I would a dream i.e. as an aspect of Self just as I would a “sleeping” dream when I woke up each morning. I would use the method I have developed for working with a dream, for always the present situation, our questions and feelings about it and the answer to any question or pondering we have during our waking reality will be revealed in dreaming. The good majority of us though, have lost the knowledge of how dreams speak to us and in fact how life truly speaks to us.

What I discovered amazed and excited me for when I started bringing the personal symbolic meanings I had spent a great deal of time getting to know, which I used in my dream analysis, along with my way of working with a dream, into my daily life, my experiences clearly showed me I was essentially in fact living one huge dream of my own creation whether “awake” or “asleep”.

Ever since I have therefore treated ALL that crosses my path as a symbolic aspect of my Self whenever I have needed to make a decision about which path to take at crossroads; to assist with just “knowing” whether something was right for me or not; or whenever there has been anything I haven’t quite understood which I do need to see and understand. It takes time to actually get the hang of this but if a person starts practising it a whole new awareness can open up and it truly will amaze.

The reality and biggest bonus for all being that folk don’t necessarily need to experience dreaming in what we term “sleep” in order to understand the deeper meanings behind the veil of illusion of everyday so called “waking” life that dreaming gives us.

When we start to look at daily life symbolically, as we would a dream, we find situations which arise are taken less personally and the ability can be gained to see a little deeper into the issue i.e. what it is teaching us about ourselves and the action we need to take, or not take, in relation to it.

We soon come to realise that messages for our personal growth, use and guidance are abundant and this is especially true when we are dealing with challenges (not problems) I personally believe, as John Lennon once said, “There are no problems, only solutions.” Challenges if you like, that we set up for ourselves to find creative solutions to, to test our skills, knowledge and growth and whether or not we have actually healed a wound that would normally create a re-action, as opposed to a response.

Often we will learn something and for a time it is only a theory that just makes perfect sense to us and resonates with us, then we will experience it i.e. we are given the chance and opportunity to put that theory into practice. Some lessons true, take longer to sink in than others, many refer to those repetitive lessons as mistakes or if they experience something that isn’t pleasant those too are seen as mistakes rather than just the learning curves that they are and folk will often throw a negative connotation on them but we will repeat something several times in various different scenarios until yep we now not only “know” it, as in the theory of it, but more importantly we have experienced it, integrated it and we now understand it and can apply it in our lives. As an example I can share for many many years I appeared to attract abusive behaviour by others, once I stopped abusing myself the reflection of that no longer appeared in others.

How many times do we encounter people who we feel treat us badly? We are often faced with situations that bring up emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness and disappointment. We, or the other person, are often left feeling the intensity of our emotions. Sometimes we confront the person and try to sort out the difficulty, other times we don’t. Often the issue is never mentioned again as we try to pretend nothing has happened yet we feel an invisible barrier with these folk, or we simply avoid the person who we think has caused our distress or discomfort. We often take “offence” to something another has done or said and therein lays a very interesting word. “Offence” when I play with it I get “A fence” – i.e. a barrier put up so strongly that no-one can get through it.

Many of us were never taught and still have not mastered effective communication skills or good confrontational skills. Most of us run a mile rather than confront another about any discomfort we may be experiencing due to what another has said, done or not done. Our whole conditioning in our western culture has been one of competition, of win or lose, of right and wrong, of my way or the highway, yet with effective communication skills and good confrontational skills it does not need to be this way. Interactions can move from discomfort, strong emotion or attack and blame scenarios to one of clear boundaries, assertive and effective communication, self-confidence and mutual respect with a desire to understand where each other is coming from by asking questions, by being curious, rather than judging, accusing, assuming, blaming, shaming, attempting to “make” another feel guilty or creating a fence.

Once we begin to look at absolutely everything and everyone who crosses our path as being a symbolic aspect of Self/part of Self we start to feel acceptance and gratitude for whatever comes our way, although granted we certainly may not feel that when the event that has triggered our own subconscious distress and re-active behaviour first occurs!

It is however OUR distress to deal with. No-one can “make” another feel anything – they are OUR feelings, no-one else’s. Learning and understanding what I perceive to be the lost language of dreams can help us all enormously for it is one of our greatest allies, providing a wealth of healing, knowledge and wisdom accessible to every single person on the planet freely and frequently.

Everywhere we go, everything we hear, everything we overhear, everyone we meet and every single situation we encounter has a deeper meaning when treated symbolically. Messages are EVERYWHERE yet we rarely see them, let alone give thanks for them or the priceless gifts they and others bring into our lives. We are usually too busy rushing here or there and realistically where are we all really rushing to? Many say “I’m getting there” where exactly is “there”?

Often folk are so busy talking about a situation, feeling we are hard done by, or rehashing events that have upset us over and over in our minds to stop and be still enough to truly listen and see the truth of what is really occurring.

Often we struggle and suffer through our experiences, judging, blaming, resenting, accusing, making assumptions and trying to figure out why another has behaved the way they have, yet rarely do we even ask them why or ask what is going on for them. More times than not most folk will discuss the issue with someone else, with both assuming or trying to guess why another has done or said whatever they have done or said to supposedly cause another distress or upset.

Sometimes we even go so far as to not even speak to those who we feel caused our distress. Our ingrained subconscious conditioning is to continually project ourselves onto others blaming them for whatever happens in OUR lives and whatever emotions WE feel.

Every single experience we have had or do have in life we have created at a deeper level for ourselves. Each one of us has been given “free will” and once we truly get this we have learnt to accept FULL responsibility for everything that has and does occur in our lives.

One of the quickest, most beautiful and easiest empowering words any of us can ever use is “I”. I feel, I think, I am wondering, I need to, I should, I must, I will, rather than using words like “you make me”, “you think I”, “you need to”, “you should/shouldn’t”, “you must/mustn’t”, “you don’t” etc.

So many times the use of “you” lands up in an argument with raised voices and intense emotions coming to the surface. It seems to me that often when we don’t feel heard or understood we automatically raise our voice perhaps in a subconscious effort to be heard yet it is not the volume attached to what we need to say that is creating the misunderstanding in most situations – saying something louder doesn’t make it any better understood, it just leads to the other person raising their voice also. It is rather synchronistic that as I am typing this in the background I can hear a classic “YOU”, “YOU”, “YOU” argument which is occurring quite loudly on the television which another in the Bat Cave has turned on.

The moment we use the word you in front of any other word, more particularly when we are experiencing strong emotional re-actions or discomfort, we are projecting onto another person and we will automatically create a barrier between that person and our Self.

Whereas if we replace “you” with “I” we neither give our own personal power away, nor our Self responsibility, nor will another throw up an invisible barrier that “you” smacks them in the face with as being a personal attack on them, which then pushes them into a space of instant defence caused by offence, and further away.

There is a nursery rhyme I am sure many will remember which on the surface means diddly squat really and yet it holds great and profound wisdom:-

“Row Row Row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily
Life is but a Dream!”

When looked at symbolically this rhyme holds far greater meaning than we generally give it credit for, for realistically most of us give it no credit and perhaps think of it as a cute but silly little nursery rhyme young children seem to have enjoyed hearing and singing over time.

Essentially a boat is a vessel that journeys on top of and through water. Our bodies are the vessels we journey through life in. Water is generally symbolic of our emotions. Therefore symbolically speaking the boat represents us and how we could be handling the emotions we travel through, if we all truly realised Life is But a Dream, of our own creation.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au

THE TRUE NATURE OF THE DOLL

Whilst Rudolf Steiner had much wonderful insight to share in relation to the importance of The Doll for all children and subsequently our culture/society and ultimately the world we all live in (which if interested you can read for yourself as it is just all too big for here) I stumbled across the following quite some time ago in Women Who Run With The Wolves which resonated with me strongly and which, I thought, may also be of interest to some.

I could very much relate to what Ms. Estes has to say about Dolls. The following comes from her analysis of the story of Vasalisa.

“Dolls are one of the symbolic treasures of the instinctual nature. In Vasalisa’s case, the doll represents vidacita, the little instinctual life force that is both fierce and enduring. No matter what mess we are in, it lives out a life hidden within us.

For centuries humans have felt that dolls emanate both a holiness and mana – an awesome and compelling presence which acts upon persons, changing them spiritually. Dolls are believed to be infused with life by their makers.

The Doll is the symbolic homunculi, little life. It is the symbol of what lies buried in humans that is numinous. It is a small and glowing facsimile of the original Self. Superficially, it is just a doll. But inversely, there is a little piece of soul that carries all the knowledge of the larger soul-Self.

The Doll is related to the symbols of leprechaun, elf, pixie, fairy, and dwarf. In fairy tales these represent a deep throb of wisdom within the culture of the psyche. They are those creatures which go on with the canny and interior work, who are tireless. In this way the doll represents the inner spirit of women; the voice of inner reason, inner knowing, and inner consciousness.

The doll is like the little bird in fairy tales who comes and whispers in the heroine’s ear, the one who reveals the hidden enemy and what to do about it all. This is the wisdom of homunculus, the small being within. It is our helper which is not seeable, but which is always accessible.

The dolls serve as talismans. Talismans are reminders of what is felt but not seen, what is so, but is not immediately obvious. The talismanic numen of the doll is that it reminds us, tells us, and sees ahead for us. This intuitive function belongs to all women. It is a massive and fundamental receptivity. Not receptivity as once touted in classical psychology that is as a passive vessel. But receptivity as in possessing immediate access to a profound wisdom that reaches to women’s very bones.”

Personally I have never been a fan of plastic dolls with false smiley faces or “perfect” model bodies and as a child I was never drawn to Barbie dolls at all even though they were all the rage during my childhood. As I have grown older I can see how that fits with my own need to always be real, raw and passionate and not pretend I am anything I am not. The last thing I reckon a child would want when they are upset is to cuddle a cold plastic doll with a painted smiley face. If it were me and I was upset I reckon I would want to throw it as far away from me as possible. To my way of thinking something soft and warm, made with love and care rather than a slapped together plastic mould type deal would always bring more comfort and nurturing.

What I have always found very interesting to observe over the years as the Bat Cave has been and still is a workplace for making dolls, toys and other items, is that absolutely every single item I have made of the doll/toy variety my son, as he was growing up wanted too, and his face would often light up with excitement as he witnessed each new creation. He was so perceptive that quite a while back his attention was drawn to a particular flower child I was making and he said “I really like this one, she is full of Spirit.”

So…. I cannot help but believe that Ms Pinkola Estes’ perception of the doll is a true reflection of their nature because there truly is something very special, beautiful and magical that occurs for me in the realm of doll/toy making. It is not seen, it is not measurable in terms of logic, but it contains a feeling that is truly beyond words, not just for me the maker, but more importantly for those who receive them.

I personally find there is nothing more satisfying for me than taking raw materials that look like nothing special or much at all and turning them into gorgeous little life and loved filled creations. There is also nothing more magical in my world than seeing the looks on folk’s faces when they see them on the table at the market.

Eyes light up, big smiles come, faces soften and exclamations of how cute and beautiful they are, are common. You can see the inner child in many come forth when they look at and feel my creations and in a world that is mostly full of manufactured, whack it out as fast as you can items, based on nothing more than making a profit which fall apart in no time, it is so very lovely to be able to bring the gift of handmade to many, for it is in those moments when I can see and also feel the affect my creations have on folk that truly do make the many hours they take to create oohh so worth it.

Cheers, Cheryl.

© Cheryl O’Connor 2014.

•*´☾☆☽`*•…

‪#‎Cheryl‬ O’Connor.
‪#‎Holistic‬ ‪#‎Counsellor‬, Author & Writer.

* Cognitive & Body Based Counselling.
* Creative & Artistic Therapies.
* Specialising in ‪#‎Dream‬ ‪#‎Analysis‬/‪#‎Conscious‬ ‪#‎Dreaming‬ & ‪#‎Shamanic‬ Journeying.
* ‪#‎Reiki‬/‪#‎Seichim‬ Treatments & Attunements.
* Isis ‪#‎Meditation‬.

Newsletter Subscription @ bit.ly/CheocoNews – All subscribers will receive a 10% discount on their first initial consultation for any of my services along with 10 pages of awesome tips and tricks to help you start deciphering the language of your Soul, your dreams, as well as the symbolism of what appears to you daily.

Website @ www.cheocoenterprises.com
My book The Promise, Skype & Email Consultations Available – bit.ly/Cheocoshop

FB: https://www.facebook.com/cheocoenterprises
Skype: cheryloconnor333

Twitter: Cheryl O’Connor@Cheoco99
Email: cheoco99@yahoo.com.au